A bunch of mixed feelings happening. I see a lawyer this week, in preparation for filing. My wife has been preparing to burn me to the ground should I file for divorce so I am doing this first appointment to prepare for what I could have to deal with. She doesn’t yet know. I am dreading the hell this divorce will be but also trying to find the silver lining of having years where I can find peace again. This divorce will completely annihilate my kids lives as they know it, my finances and spike my anxiety for years but at least I am working toward peace. I’ll never ever marry again and I don’t know if I’ll ever trust one enough to be in a relationship again. The damage I took from this one will last a lifetime. To those of you that found peace on the other side, please turn on the porch light, I’m coming home