What's the point of a long term serious relationship for a man?

ComfortableJeans · 2023-12-16T23:13:29+00:00

If that's how you think about relationships, do everyone a favour and stay out of them. You're making it worse for everyone else.

If I have to explain love and how it feels to be loved, it's incredible importance and the staggering value it adds to a persons life, just don't bother, it isn't for you. We'll both be better off.

People with this attitude SUCK in relationships.

neinhaltchad · 2023-12-17T02:35:46+00:00

I’ve been restoring a classic 1950’s truck.

My current girlfriend has sacrificed so many nights and weekends helping me in various ways. She’s never complained. She’s supported me, and helped me and encouraged me when I wanted to give up on it.

That’s just one small example of the ways she (and any good woman) can be a net positive to your life as a man.

There are many others.

I’ll probably never be able to repay her (but I’ll try)

She also pays half the rent, and has plenty of life skills that I don’t and vice versa.

She’s also super hot, silly, not easily offended, spontaneous, fun to watch movies with, fun to travel with, etc.

The sexual compatibility is among the best I’ve had.

At my age, after spending the last 2-3 years in the dating hellscape (OLD and otherwise) can very comfortably say that this woman is worth at least trying an LTR with, and I will do my best here.

So, in short, a partner that you can laugh with, eat with, sleep with and fuck for long periods of time without getting annoyed with or sick of is quite a rare commodity in my experience and is worth trying to hold on to once you find it.

PMmeareasontolive · 2023-12-16T23:47:53+00:00

fun. It's like having a best friend but with sex thrown in. What's not to like?
It gives you creative impetus. maybe just because two heads are better than one. But, for example, I'd go get a hotel at the beach for the weekend if I were part of a couple. Single, I wouldn't do that. Sometimes the other partner brings creative ideas to the table so your creative potential is augmented.
There is some therapeutic value, though some will deny this. And maybe it only applies to some people.
It takes some people longer to open up fully with another person, so it will only really happen in a LTR.
A LTR doesn't mean you have to marry the person (unless you're from a much more conservative culture I suppose).

macone235 · 2023-12-17T03:34:49+00:00

There is none outside of having children and maybe more frequent sex.

If you think there is, then congratulation - you are being manipulated.

No-You7911 · 2023-12-17T06:01:10+00:00

Nothing unless he enjoys humiliation and pain.

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Peter5930 · 2023-12-17T00:36:22+00:00

Besides an ego boost and constant sex

Wait, there's more than that? Just greet me pussy-first at the door, tell me how much I turn you on and we'll get on great.

wtknight · 2023-12-17T01:06:34+00:00

Many women are good mothers, and many men want children.

Women also help provide resources when they are working so that a household can live a better lifestyle when both partners' resouces are combined.

Women can be good friends and provide good emotional support for a man, too.

theswartraven · 2023-12-17T12:11:21+00:00

Having children.

SeveralLiterature980 · 2023-12-17T18:53:02+00:00

What ego boost?

Any man who derives validation from a woman's opinion of him in a romantic setting and outside of any expert capacity fundamentally misunderstands life.

Constant sex is only assured if you screen your partners well. Most men don't.

However

to answer the OP --- that's a good question.

In the present day, a nice fwb serves many of the same purposes. I suppose having someone who is devoted to you exclusively buffers you from sudden emotional turbulence that loss can bring...somewhat. But that only arises because in a formal relationship she feels an obligation to "give it a shot," and "let you know if she goes." It's far from a bulwark.

If you are the type of person who needs or highly desires the company of others to modulate your self-esteem in that area, or to satisfy your need for interaction, then a relationship is probably desirable for its own sake.

I'm a person who has high drive with a hypertrophied sense of justice but low competitiveness/dominance orientation, which means that I will not hesitate to compete in a dominance hierarchy to thwart unjust aggression, but it also means that without a higher purpose or unfair aggression flung my way, I'm largely bored, means that "hanging out with the boys," and other such activities are typically excruciatingly boring.

Like monkeys just one-upping each other all night.

Socialization for its own sake is not recreation for me. Whenever I have been in a relationship, the part of it without a doubt I have just hated the most has been the ritual "how was your day" discussion. I'm not particularly eager to share my day's particulars beyond "I survived," unless something truly extraordinary happened.

Women generally seem to enjoy talking about both their and my day. I think it's a gossip thing, as in, women like to have information and they like to retrieve it socially. When I say gossip I mean in the neutral sense, as in, utilizing people to gain social information and expand your social world. Like when someone says "I want to be a part of your life," when you're wondering why they are asking about your day. Which means that if you do not care about the mundane realities of human life in her day, well...now we may have a problem because obviously you do not want to be part of her life.

This ritual sucks. Power rankings top 5 of worst part about being in a relationship for me. Mainly because you have to participate in it on some level or risk discord.

Some activities I enjoy are better with a partner, though. Active stuff like hiking or passive stuff like watching movies. And as the OP points out, the sexual relationship.

On balance though, a relationship for its own sake is a meh proposition. It took me a long time to realize that a huge factor in my, ehm, previous relationship infidelities was simply an internal calculation that the assets of the relationship weighed unfavorably against the opportunity cost of forgoing the sexual options.

But under one condition I would definitely get into a relationship again. And I believe any man, if they find this in a woman who otherwise meets kindness and cuteness and compatibility standards should consider committing as well:

true communication and interaction.

Now, two people can communicate well, as in the communication serves a basic and satisfactory function informing the other party of the other's expectations to enable conformity to those expectations. But "true" communication and interaction is different.

It's when someone understands your style of communication and has enough chops in that style to communicate with you utilizing that style. Even better when they have this knowledge over many of your styles and are skillful in those.

Then you both can truly talk about anything. That's a lot of fun and makes life a lot of fun.

So that's the point of a relationship for me, finding someone I can actually go back and forth with. That's rare, though.

Warm_Gur8832 · 2023-12-18T05:24:13+00:00

The bond.

Being next to her feels so safe and keeps your mind from racing so much.

Title	What's the point of a long term serious relationship for a man?
Author	Lower-Director1043
Upvotes	2
Comments	22
Date	December 16, 2023 4:26 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18jj3l3/whats_the_point_of_a_long_term_serious/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/whats-the-point-of-a-long-term-serious.1240925 https://theredarchive.com/post/1240925

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