I oversexualized myself and I fear I can't turn back without it hurting my relationship, help

AppropriateEbb5556 · 2023-12-18T11:46:45+00:00

It's never too late to take a step back. Men are never afraid to ask things of us and we should get comfortable doing the same.

I dont know how old you are or if this is your first boyfriend. But here is another thing worth knowing: Any man with a healthy level of testostorone will turn primal when it comes to intimicy. It's natural and doesn't necessarily mean he sees you as a sex object. If he prioritizes your well being in other ways, has committed to you and you feel happy; its normal to let him have your sexual side too.

I hope you only do what you feel comfortable doing and feel that you can talk to him openly about your feelings. ❤️✨

RatchedAngle · 2023-12-18T11:32:26+00:00

A lot of men refuse to wait for sex because they’re worried they will end up in a dead bedroom with a woman who doesn’t actually enjoy sex.

In my opinion, the fact that you were willing to do that should show him that you have a healthy sex drive and you’re giving in the bedroom. If anything, he should be more willing to wait.

Independent-Hall4929 · 2023-12-18T11:07:00+00:00

Well… when do you plan on getting intimate? I understand it can be hard to resist urges, so you didn’t do anything wrong. But absolutely don’t go any further than you feel comfortable with at this time. Have strong boundaries. But you need to first decide what your boundaries are. Are you waiting until marriage etc?

TheBunk_TB · 2023-12-18T14:27:26+00:00

You might need to let him know about this kind of stuff as soon as possible

vintagegirlgame · 2023-12-18T11:01:11+00:00

Sounds like you’ve had your phone sex cherry popped. Its still not real sex, and it’s ok to talk about eachother’s fantasies and get excited about it and build anticipation. Just make sure he knows you’re still waiting for marriage for sex, and make sure you know where you’re at and also communicate about “in between” bases ahead of seeing him next.

akitty247 · 2023-12-18T11:13:15+00:00

Muslim and south Asian here (23 and got married 2 years ago). I would say try to abstain from anything like that further. The best thing to do is be cheeky and playful but hold back from sex. Say you want to save yourself for marriage. Is he a virgin? This relationship seems very new. If he cannot hold back from or wait until marriage then it's something to reconsider with him. Is he practicing? Pm if you like

Objective_School_738 · 2023-12-18T17:34:21+00:00

When you have your conversation with him, make sure to communicate how that experience made you feel afterwards. Men sometimes respond better to emotional reasoning than logical. You can admit that it was exciting in the moment and you look forward to more of that when you’re married someday, while also acknowledging that you now feel very vulnerable without the security of commitment.

AutoModerator · 2023-12-18T10:41:03+00:00

Title: I oversexualized myself and I fear I can't turn back without it hurting my relationship, help

Author throwra20035

Full text: I've been seeing my boyfriend for a little over 3 months and we became official a month a ago, we both come from very religious background (muslim) but he moved to a more liberal city while I'm still in our hometown and he's overall less religious than I am.

2 days ago we were facetiming and he was telling me he wants to masturbate but he's too tired and in the heat of the moment I told him I can help him, and I took off my bra and played with my boobs to help him get off and he helped do the same afterwards.

after that he started speaking about how he can't wait to spend the night with me and the things he'd do to me when he's back home (he's on a work trip right now) and I was anxious so I just nodded and smiled, I'm still a virgin and I plan to wait for marriage.

he's a good person, I know he likes me and I know it's mostly my overthinking and shame speak but I can't help but fear that I opened a door I can't close and he'll keep asking for more.

i also fear he doesn't see me as innocent anymore and I know how much men value innocence.

now I don't know how to take a step back, or at least keep things the way they are without it hurting my relationship

I didn't want to post on the relationship subreddit because they'll just tell me that I need to get loose, I hope some of you coming from conservative backgrounds understand what I'm going through and can help me.

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G-G-021817 · 2023-12-18T20:40:59+00:00

Recently went through something similar. Feel free to pm me

cbunni666 · 2023-12-19T03:41:48+00:00

I would just step back and not do it again. You're human and anyone can make mistakes. You decided in a long run it's not right for you. So explain it that you will no longer do that until marriage and if he understands he will respect it. But remember, you did say he was less religious than you and may not feel it's that big of a deal to wait.

Title	I oversexualized myself and I fear I can't turn back without it hurting my relationship, help
Author	throwra20035
Upvotes	28
Comments	21
Date	December 18, 2023 10:41 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/18l5s8n/i_oversexualized_myself_and_i_fear_i_cant_turn/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/i-oversexualized-myself-and-i-fear-i-cant-turn.1241036 https://theredarchive.com/post/1241036

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