I’m continuing my evolution out of this waking nightmare. As it stands, I’ve been uninvited from the NYE party my ex is throwing (which is fine) and we’ve agreed to be in each other’s presence for two events in January that we already told the kids we’d all do. After that, we’ve both agreed that we don’t want to be around each other. She sees me as emotionally unstable and I see her as uncaring and flaunting her new relationship. To be fair, I think both sides of that are true.

I’m watching our son for a couple hours today even though it’s her custody day. I could have told her no but it’s so she can do something with our daughter and it gives me 1:1 time with him so it’s cool. She texted me about it this morning and what time she’d drop the kids off on New Year’s Day. All good. Then….

She then tells me that she told the kids I’m not going to be there on NYE and our daughter wants an explanation. I told her to tell her whatever she wants. Ex protested saying we have to coparent. I said, ok then tell her you don’t want to be around me because I’m emotionally unstable. That then turned to it’s going to hurt the ex’s relationship with the daughter because it’ll make her see ex and her boyfriend (he’s not going to be at the party) in a negative light. You see.. the ex wants to do whatever she wants but doesn’t want the kids judging her. So… we negotiated an answer. That being.. we aren’t getting along because I’m struggling with the holidays. It’s not untrue so I said sure. Truth is, I would have agreed to anything just to end the conversation. The daughter already knows the truth.. my ex just hasn’t realized it.

The point.. I get done with interactions like these and it just feels like she has sucked the energy right out of me.