Can’t make this up

a_day_at_a_timee · 2024-01-25T15:49:08+00:00

Same story here too. The good news is, five years later i’ve got a beautiful new house, 50/50 with my kids, a pretty little girlfriend, and play golf 3 times a week without getting shit for it. my retirement is equal to where it was before the divorce because even with $2100 in child support alimony, I still have more money in my account at the end of the month to save.

orwegoagain · 2024-01-24T16:14:10+00:00

My story is nearly the same. I'm so sorry. Here's a bit of light for the tunnel:

After 3 false 911 calls and 2 unfounded CPS claims over about a year, I went to my lawyer and applied for a change of custody and 50/50 time based on "weaponization" of public services. My ex of course freaked out and objected and told the judge I was an undiagnosed narcissist. Funny side note, the judge asked her if she was a mental health professional. When she said no, the judge ordered a custody evaluation for both of us. We get the results on Feb 21 but she has done a fantastic job of being herself throughout this process. I have done nothing but answer his questions truthfully and promptly while she has been erratic, late, and just generally untrustworthy. This has prompted the evaluator to ask me questions like, "do you know what bipolar disorder is, do you think she has it" with zero name calling or mud slinging by me. He even told me at one point, your child only needs one good parent to have a happy life.

I am praying for the results to go my way, but at the very least, I know I'm not going to lose any time I have.

Keep calm. Keep records. Be the one good parent. The truth always comes out. Stay strong brother. You are not alone.

Insertpickle · 2024-01-24T15:52:08+00:00

My prayers for you brother. Same thing happened to me. I slowly chipped away at getting more time with my daughter. Then once her child support started dwindling she stopped caring and eventually left the state. I however did not have a free house for my ex.

Anyone says the courts are not bias towards the mother no matter what they do, are just simply not in touch with reality.

The past few years has been quite the journey. It literally took me 6 years to get back to being something close to myself. Maybe it’s PTSD. The mom is gone. Just me and my daughter. Just started to hang out with other kids parents. I feel like I had to earn back societies trust being a single dad. The whole thing is just completely insane.

Any sort of idk venting I needed to do fell about completely deaf ears. (Man up you know the deal)

I know everyone says this but the absolute best thing you can do is get manic about some sort of hobby. Hopefully it leads into something you can find real passion in. I don’t think dating will ever be the same. I don’t think being around women will ever be the same.

Just wow. Sometimes I just sit back and think about it all. Then I remember I have prints to work on.

I also have found that just really starting fresh is a good idea. I’m kinda in the process still of meeting new people and setting fire to the idea of my old self and old friends. I am still cool with people just defiantly always working on my own personal progression.

I’m rooting for you and know all about the pain you feel.

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2024-01-24T15:40:51+00:00

Appeal? Ask for a different judge.

Jbr74 · 2024-01-24T15:02:50+00:00

How is she not in jail for making serious false allegations against me?

I feel let down by our judiciary system.

Ahhh... to believe again that the system isn't rigged against men.

Sorry, you had to join the party.

Zapped2311 · 2024-01-24T12:38:19+00:00

Completely feel for you, man. Don't worry about overcoming your hate for those scumbags-- it's BEYOND deserved, in this case. People talk about forgiveness and sh!t, but I say F*CK'EM. Disorders only make up a small part of the reasoning behind actions or words-- it's not the whole person's character, and if it's 2 people doing the dirt? That's collusion, pal. Being a pain in the ass is one thing, but false accusations? And of THAT??

Nah. F*ck'em RIGHT where they stand and where they always WILL stand. FOREVER.

That kind of accusation just eats at the soul of the accused, and introduces levels of dark thoughts never before imagined; so you go RIGHT the f*ck ahead and hate ON, brother. The anger will subside, perhaps the disbelief you feel never will, but you'll come back to yourself. You'll just NEVER see those people as a good or necessary part of your life ever again. Been there. Took me to a dark, dark place, but I'm coming out of it.

Love that little girl to death, bro. Best of luck to ya.

Glittering-Spell-446 · 2024-01-24T11:38:57+00:00

You have similar story like me with the difference that i still dont have the courage to divorce due too my fear of who's gonna take care of my baby if im not there….

DadVader77 · 2024-01-24T07:02:13+00:00

You’re paying for your child so she doesn’t have to go without. That’s how you have to think about it or it will drive you crazy.

Besides that, is there a chance that down the road you can request to have the custody time reviewed and try to get 50/50 or better?

Articulate_idiot · 2024-01-24T06:11:13+00:00

I’m sorry brother. Just take it one day at a time. Always do the right thing when you’re faced with ANY decision, especially in regard to anything that involves your child (but it sounds like you already knew this). One word of advice that I’ve heard over and over again and believe to be absolutely true: when your daughter is old enough to understand, never disparage your ex to your daughter. Kids don’t need our help to know right from wrong. If you talk badly about your ex to your daughter, this will backfire and she will end up resenting you and feeling bad for it because it’s not her fault that she got dealt bad cards in regard to a mom. It’s not yours either. It just happened. As your daughter gets older, she will need love and support from both parents, if possible. If her mother falls short, she will find out intuitively on her own which parent she can depend on and which parent loves and supports her and she will always know that she can go to you to feel safe and secure. Just love her and always be there for her. The sting of your failed relationship will eventually fade, but it is a grueling emotional process of grieving and loss along the way. One day you will find a good woman, who is stable and who loves and respects both you and your daughter, and who accepts you exactly as you are. Take what you’ve learned from this failure and turn it into growth in what is to come. Establish and know your boundaries and hold strong in the future to what you will and will not accept in a partner. Take your time, there’s no hurry. Everything will work out for the better in the end if you keep making good decisions, one day at a time. Good luck 💪

wisstinks4 · 2024-01-24T05:48:07+00:00

Evil women seem to draw karma to their space. Let’s Pray justice is found here which balances the scales of life for the world to be in harmony.

Xan-Diesel · 2024-01-24T05:47:53+00:00

I’m sorry this is happening to you. I also had to endure our legal system to fully understand how broken it is. There rarely appears to be justice. The failures are rampant.

I hope things resolve quickly and positively for you and your daughter. It’s a shame the predators like your ex-wife are able to so easily utilize a system designed to protect victims.

wisstinks4 · 2024-01-24T05:47:50+00:00

Evil women seem to draw karma to their space. Let’s Pray that justice balances the scales of life for the world to be in harmony. Vengeance is the Lord’s.

Title	Can’t make this up
Author	DavoBoba
Upvotes	32
Comments	22
Date	January 24, 2024 5:29 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/19e9oc0/cant_make_this_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/cant-make-this-up.1243638 https://theredarchive.com/post/1243638

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