How do you cope with misandry?

sanitaryinspector · 2024-01-28T14:33:29+00:00

I get downvoted even in real life

SquirrelWatchin · 2024-01-28T14:29:15+00:00

Aside from therapy and meds how do you gents cope with the pain and suffering of these experiences? How do you live with constant ptsd?

I call misandry out where I can. I try to keep what I consider to be a healthy outlook of "I cannot change everything" when I am in a position where I can't do much about it. Such as if it was a judge and I am best served by staying silent.

When I was full of social anxiety back around 2017. I would almost always go places with a safe person. Back then it was my wife, she passed in late 2021. She was amazing at helping me during that period. We went for short visits to places around town so I could see it was safe. If at any point I was freaking inside. I let her know by one of our methods. Then I just stood there and smiled slightly, and she did all of the talking at that point so I could chill.

This got me to a point where I began to run, with headphones to keep people away a bit. I turned those runs into visits to secondhand stores, or the local grocery stores to get things we needed or wanted. I often bought weight plates, and a used backpack then ran home with that on my back. That got me in shape, and much better at being social. Those weights are still in my gym today.

Yesterday I did a workout to target my glutes. Followed by an hour on my exercise bike at around 18 mph. I rode that bike every day for 1 hour to total 124.8 miles last week. I will do another hour later today. I lifted weights or used my other fitness equipment 5 times this week before my rides.

When I am not doing the above, which usually occupies only 2 hours max on days I do both workouts. I grow and eat chili peppers, and a few other food crops. Peppers are a hobby however so there are loads of pepper plants here producing for me, and news ones getting started. Gardening, and trading crypto and stocks are my other diversions. I play video games as well, but this year so far, and last year I was super busy with life and the other items so I did that much less than before. Basically I do whatever I can to keep my mind occupied with something other than those emotions surrounding my past pain and suffering.

I don't get out much these days, just trips to the store for supplies. My present duties keep me mostly at home. With my abusive mother who caused most of my issues. I am her live-in caregiver today, she is pretty much fully dependent on me. There is no one else who would, or could do what I am doing, and it is worsening my ptsd.

This is why I workout so much, and why I can always be found doing something active mentally or physically. I cannot sit and watch TV, some sports game, or a movie very often. I cannot sit silently, alone in a room doing nothing. The negative thoughts and feelings creep right in. Soon I no longer even know what's happening on the screen because I have been reliving past abuse. Staying busy, and diverting my thoughts are the keys to survival for me. I find that I am better without alcohol in all things. Cannabis does help me in my struggles but I adamantly refuse anything stronger from a doctor, or the streets. And that's whether I am in this situation, or out doing my own things on my own time being carefree.

Stay strong out there.

Agile_Potato9088 · 2024-01-28T14:51:58+00:00

I realize that there is not much that I can legally do. So I distance myself from all sexist Women as much as possible and make it very well know to them how much I despise them and their views and behaviour.

Although not all Women are like that.

Past_Study_4913 · 2024-01-28T15:13:43+00:00

Double down on anything they deem " toxic "

TheWinterNights · 2024-01-28T19:45:59+00:00

Unironically?

I listen to politicians speeches, or the ones from CEOs or other business leaders.

Read papers and releases they have. Whatever you can get your hands on. Like read the newest pieces from the IMF if that works for you.

These are people that mastered the art of complete dissonance between the way they conduct themselves in the public, in private and then what they actually think and do.

That is the key.

It is something you have to actively learn, train and work on to make work.

It is less about "faking it", and more about professionalizing it if you want to. Like in sports. If you enter a professional boxing match you go in with a different mindset, different stance and readiness. You know you are in a boxing match. There are rules if you want to win, or at least not get a major injury. Spoken and unspoken ones. You know you are now in a ring, and if you aren't bringing professional boxing behavior into the ring, you are leaving it broken or worse.

That is how I approached these things.

Again, it isn't faking it. You don't fake being a professional fighter, and then become the "real you" once you are out of the ring. You simply accepts that you are in a boxing fight and act accordingly.

And that example holds up pretty well. Like you can get the good treatment after the fight. Can relax in the Sauna or put cremes on the bruises. Can reflect on it. Can go biking or maybe watch a movie or play a game to get your head free after it if it stresses you out, etc. ...

It's a whole process.

Basically learn and actively practice to conduct yourself in the public arena or social group arena as to what it is - an arena.

Learn and actively practice to make clear differences between public, private, and what you actually think and feel and how to act accordingly. Learn from the best and their successes and failures in these things.

Incorporate all of that into the larger puzzle of your total life that you will master eventually.

Cowboy71113 · 2024-01-28T20:13:35+00:00

I stick to my “pack,” mostly. I ignore a lot of the noise from the internet and the people around me, and just focus on what makes me happy. For a long time I simply couldn’t ignore it. Just keep working on yourself, once I met my wife, and started doing things I enjoyed, built a decent social circle, I sort of just stopped caring. I didn’t even notice it, one day I was simply more content and at peace. It was a hard and exhausting journey, but it got better with time.

DeepfriedWings · 2024-01-28T15:16:53+00:00

The west is nothing. Come to Asia man, it’s like the 50s here. If I were to divorce a wealthy woman, I would still get rinsed in the divorce proceedings. If my ex was a drug addict and showed up to family court high, she would still get custody of the kids.

Black-Patrick · 2024-01-28T15:24:42+00:00

I have a healthy understanding of how things could be worse and an appreciation and degree of active gratitude for the blessings and gifts that I have.

Realistic_W8974 · 2024-01-28T22:14:39+00:00

Avoid nasty men and women, and just live your life comfortably.

Asatmaya · 2024-01-28T15:16:52+00:00

I became an anarchist; if our society is going to treat me like that, then I am not going to support that society.

BigCommercial5351 · 2024-01-28T16:59:23+00:00

Married twice 5 children 3 lived 2 passed First ex took me for every thing I owned I fought and lost over and over with friend of the cout and then she switched to child protective services 2nd ex backed me up until that point she would let CPS know I didn't do those things but asked me to leave I have contact with my youngest I recently decided after 15 years of fighting and loosing I'm moving on My children can contact me when they wish my child support is paid and I send $ to each of my children Wish I could have them in my home every day and night I dont sleep well at all Learning to cope I n healthy ways now Cut out drinking and major drugs 420 only And therapy has helped

denvercaniac · 2024-01-28T20:02:23+00:00

I help men and disregard the other gender. They don't need us and everything is our fault, right?

BreakGrouchy · 2024-01-28T15:27:53+00:00

Swordsman VR

wayfarout · 2024-01-28T18:47:34+00:00

Move on. Is their opinion even valid enough to attempt to reason with them? Can't use logic on hate.

mrkpxx · 2024-01-28T20:10:25+00:00

I think about how other oppressed people dealt with discrimination (e.g. Jews, Africans) and try to remain calm.

MaximumYes · 2024-01-28T20:21:18+00:00

Move on. Live well. Leave the world behind, it does not deserve you.

BadmonTG23 · 2024-01-29T05:59:49+00:00

It’s really hard man. It’s one thing when randoms do it but when your own family is on it bro it’s fucked

paperpatience · 2024-01-29T16:45:57+00:00

Physically train as if you’re an athlete and cook the best food you can afford. Take pride in your profession and keep improving. Find a monthly group hobby to do.

movieman199111 · 2024-01-30T20:30:08+00:00

I feel exactly the same. I speak when spoken to outside and retreat to my cozy home and decent human being of a wife

Tang_of_pussy · 2024-01-28T20:08:15+00:00

You just deal with it. My ex was being charged with domestic violence crimes, and at the same time CPS/DCYF was stating in reports that I “really believe I’m a victim of domestic violence when he’s not truly a victim.”

BagelSupremacist · 2024-01-28T14:17:20+00:00

Get off of forums and subreddits like this one. Personal experience: my girlfriend and I have been together for almost 6 months now, sometimes I start overthinking things and jumping to false conclusions simply because it’s what I’ve seen online on places like Reddit. Turns out she has only sincere intentions and my overthinking leads to nothing but worry.

Misandry dominates the status quo, but only let it affect you as much as you personally experience, not someone else online. Personally I’ve found it reduces misandry “paranoia” and has left me happier.

chris33330 · 2024-01-28T21:12:13+00:00

wait for WW3 and females entering the draft population

ManWhoSoldTheWorld20 · 2024-01-28T21:32:08+00:00

Here's a lesson gents, don't dwell on gender politics. Come sundown men are responsible for feeding, clothing, and sheltering the free world. You want to cope, stop doing it.

Specialist-Carob6253 · 2024-01-28T16:47:14+00:00

My brother, you are not a victim to women or anyone else. Economic exploitation has always been the biggest hurdle for men.

BEEZ128 · 2024-01-29T03:22:37+00:00

I would do a stock take of where you are in life, and carefully analyse how you can improve any aspect you can about yourself, (health, fitness, money, social life etc.) so you are able to live at a greater place in life, with greater people who you share something in common with. Be absolutely ruthless with those who hold you back, and be kind to those who allow you to grow.

This way you are more resilient and can counter these “attacks” so to speak, because technically you don’t have to give a fuck. Because you’ve worked hard and will continue to, to improve your life and those you around you that you care most about.

Also drop the meds, they are a scam and aren’t doing anything good for you. Aside from being unhealthy for you, all they do is mask the problem so it’s bearable, they don’t actually help you solve the root cause of your anxiety/depression.

Also, only see a therapist who understands your situation and is actively working with you to come up with solutions that are good long term, and will put POWER BACK IN YOUR HANDS.

Generally speaking though when you aren’t doing that (which should be the main thing in life drawing your attention) When you come up against some misandristic bullshit, double down on whatever you were doing and flip the script on them.

Providing the misandrist can’t hurt you, repeat what they said back to them and frame it as though they are the perpetrator. Ask them how they feel if you said the same thing to them. If they can hurt you, deal with the situation the best you can in order to remove yourself as fast as possible.

Dustball414CA · 2024-01-29T13:00:30+00:00

This may sound a bit cliché, but sometimes, you just have to walk away. Seriously, just get up and leave. I found that was what I needed to do after fighting for years just to be an every-other-weekend-if-I-let-you father. I got tired of the near constant disappointment and heartache. It all became too much to handle, so I left.

It didn't help that ex had poisoned the kids so bad that when my youngest was born they wanted nothing to do with #3. Actually just the opposite, one wanted nothing to do with 3, the other wanted to explain how horrible I was, the dastardly things I'd allegedly done to their mother (like I said, poisoned). So, I packed up and moved.

Haven't heard word one from either of them since (and they know how to contact me). It's been over 10 years now, and I'm/we are so much the better for it.

Title	How do you cope with misandry?
Author	Former-Dragonfly2226
Upvotes	122
Comments	36
Date	January 28, 2024 1:38 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1ad2udl/how_do_you_cope_with_misandry/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-do-you-cope-with-misandry.1243997 https://theredarchive.com/post/1243997

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