Have any of you seen a female therapist before? If so what was your experience like?

Strigon_7 · 2024-01-29T23:33:00+00:00

So far I've had four therapists. First was a lovely but very young lady who said she honestly felt she didn't have the right skill sets to help me. The second lady was my referral from the first, she spent a good two to three sessions telling me I was probably gay, told her that was absurd. Told me until I was honest she couldn't help me. Third lady was my next referral, it didn't go very well and I got a very hostile attitude from her. Four was a man and I'm already doing better but he's not sure if I should stay with him and may be better off in group. Kind of lost my interest in utall to be honest.

krackedy · 2024-01-29T23:03:58+00:00

I got some pretty serious mental health issues. I've seen mostly female therapists and two male. One man was great, one was average. With the women some were absolutely terrible, some were okay, and one was my favourite ever.

So I guess it's a pretty mixed bag. I found some of the women too generic, like they were saying the same things to me as every other person, but the good ones were quite good.

duhhhh · 2024-01-29T23:19:28+00:00

I personally think a third of therapists suck and do more harm than good, a third aren't a great personality or problem fit, and a third are life changing forces of good. Finding a good therapist that is also good fit for you is costly, time consuming, and frustrating.

I've personally had fairly good luck with moderate and conservative women who got their degrees pre-y2k. I have not had luck with men or liberal/younger women.

Rude_Shock343 · 2024-01-30T00:14:05+00:00

Women therapists were horrible to me. Just wanted to talk about and "affirm" my feelings. No practical solutiond. Nothing ever helped. One male therapist actually helped me understand WHY I felt as I did and gave some practical solutions for me to implement.

Lumpy_Tangelo_9981 · 2024-01-30T00:06:23+00:00

I've had one female therapist out of 6 total. She was just about the worst, though all of them sucked.

Future-AI-Dude · 2024-01-29T23:26:02+00:00

So before my divorce my wife and i went to a therapist together (female). My first thought was “this isn’t gonna be in my favor at all” but i have to tell you, she was more empathetic with me and my feelings than my ex. She seemed to, I don’t know, take my side of the conversations and point out more things my wife should have been aware of and how they were probably more to blame for the failing marriage. Again, i was pleasantly surprised by all this. It was nice to not only have my feelings validated but to have them validated by another woman. It is a scary world out there for us guys but i think there are some women who truly get it. I happened to luck out on this one.

dave-gonzo · 2024-01-30T01:30:13+00:00

I hate it. Due to issues with my narcissistic mother it never works out. It took me forever to find a male counselor to actually relate to. Finally making progress after 43yrs of life. Shitty thing is when you look up counselors/therapist on your insurance the amount of males available is few and far between.

UnlimitedCalculus · 2024-01-30T02:21:28+00:00

Older lady, understood the world in a way the younger generation didn't. Probably only therapist that helped. I would tell her my issues with women and she'd recognize how difficult the current mood is. I taught her the word "zeitgeist" when describing how valid accusations against actual predators (Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein at the beginning of #MeToo had descended into a witch hunt (Johnny Depp).

gonnaenditthx197 · 2024-01-30T00:18:47+00:00

Been with a few different ones it was mixed bag but the latest one was...idk it hurt, ive gone to her for depression, feeling suicidal every day etc and i complained about alot of male issues and she seemed to brush those off and be dismissive , looking at her phone often, eventually she said she cant help much more so she had a 10 min conversation with me ending with "goodluck" , she signed me off to go to this therapy group talk which didnt help shit. And that was that.

Im not saying shes bad therapist bc shes woman but i just think alot of women have virtually zero clue/empathy (ofc not all) of male issues.

So idk whats next after all this.

Fallen_Angel1331 · 2024-01-30T00:24:42+00:00

As part of my counselling course, I have to receive 15 hours of counselling as a client and I contracted with a female therapist for it. Wasn't fussed what sex they were (I'm a guy myself.) I found her to be quite approachable and I was happy to not only discuss my issues (mainly with depression) but she discussed with me about possible solutions to help as well.

A lot of therapy comes down to the therapeutic approach that the therapist has, based on their training and beliefs. One of the popular approaches is person-centered (Carl Rogers' work), which focuses a lot on affirming and letting the client work through things. Those wanting guidance or solutions may find having a therapist who works with cognitive, behavioural or cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) more useful as part of the therapy includes problem solving and trying different methods.

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2024-01-30T02:30:04+00:00

So the first thing I did at start was specify a Male … I’d assumed most would? Akin to checking if the vet you’re going to has experience with what you’re gonna bring and isn’t gonna start off with googling your creature with “hmmm it’s a X … I’ve never seen one how .. Interesting…”

Mobile_Lumpy · 2024-01-30T03:51:34+00:00

Nope, can't afford it.

thomas_gabriel88 · 2024-01-29T23:09:06+00:00

Both my therapists were female. First one was genuinely like a caricature trying to pin all my problems on me and etc second one was actually very helpful.

ipposan · 2024-01-30T02:33:32+00:00

Been going to one on and off for years. Recently with divorce she has helped me move forward. Challenges my thinking and encouraging me to move away from past behaviors.

She can be tough but has made a big difference.

Pudgelover69 · 2024-01-30T03:30:23+00:00

I’m currently seeing one, female therapist. Only one session in and uhhhhh, yeah she’s amazing. We covered so much shit just in our first session and I’m like stoked to see her this coming Thursday. I’m lucky tho, this woman is absolutely wonderful. I have seen one other therapist before her back in 2016, also a woman and she was terrible. I really think it just depends on if this therapist is a good one and are they good for you and what you need.

mirthsadismfilth · 2024-01-30T03:57:06+00:00

For context, I have the kinds of mental health issues you learn to live with, there is no cure for what I have.

I think the issue is not gender, but experience, training, and professionalism. If it’s a woman, and she has the proper experience and or proper professionalism and training, then that’s what you are looking for.

Also for context, I am not someone who is an apologist for women, I think they can be just as human, fallible, and shitty as men can be.

The BEST therapeutic experience I have had to date was with a woman. She had the experience, the training, and the professionalism necessary to help me through.

But, I wasn’t expecting her to fix me, “make it all better”, or have all the answers. I was doing the work, and reading her into the work I was doing, and often she had insights and context she brought to the conversation that were very helpful. She was super “trauma informed”, she was sensitive to the delicate balance of dealing with the kind of shot I got, and I never once thought that there was any conflict between us due to our differing genders.

Therapy is not gendered. Individual therapists may be unprofessional, gender-biased, or just plain incompetent.

Trauma is not gendered. It can have gendered expressions, and responses to it can have gender-based differences.

I can’t speak to other people’s experiences, and I’m not saying anyone else will have the same good fortune I have had.

ArgueLater · 2024-01-30T05:10:11+00:00

She said we needed to skip a session for Thanksgiving. Two went by, I messaged and she said she had new clientele.

There was one in college that refused to listen to me when I told her I was having a paranoid schizophrenic breakdown. So that went on for a while, ending up homeless for a bit.

But then I was saved by a woman who saw me and thought "I want to have kinky sex with that guy." Which was pretty much all I needed to get a grasp on my sanity again. It made me feel human. I consider her a different type of therapist.

rabel111 · 2024-01-30T10:00:00+00:00

Had both male and female. Some good some bad. Women were more likely to fall back on their personal bundle of male/female stereotypes.

Curiously one man was so hostile, i stopped the session. He demanded i acknowledge male priviledge, and outright rejected that i could possbly have experienced grief after seperation from my kids. Weird. Go figure.

mrkpxx · 2024-01-30T12:21:41+00:00

Many female therapist tend to be misandristic.

ragebeeflord · 2024-01-29T23:17:17+00:00

My therapist was female and she was really nice and caring.

BuzzingHawk · 2024-01-30T00:39:03+00:00

Psychotherapy is great for people whose problems can be solved by talking, very surface level stuff like some relationship issues or midlife crisis. There is a reason why for any serious mental illness, depression or disorder the first step is heavy perscription of medication.

Talking doesn't solve structural problems, concrete actions do. But many of the actions are outside the scope of a person and their ability, but are essentially society around them bullying/pressuring people to be someone they aren't or forcing them into situations they do not want to be in. For society it's convenient to push pills, because pills do make those "annoying" people and their problems less of a hassle for people around them.

JonathonWally · 2024-01-30T03:04:26+00:00

I’ve had talk therapy with men and women. Some good, some not helpful. For me it was less about man or woman and way more about understanding the different ways men and women approach behaviors and being able to understand the opposites mind.

I’ve had men who were really really at understanding female psychology and I’ve had women who were really good at understanding male psychology.

And I’ve had men and women who bad at it.

SomeSugondeseGuy · 2024-01-30T03:57:15+00:00

I have. She was quite nice.

Qantourisc · 2024-01-30T09:19:06+00:00

Sorry I read the therapists website / intro text; not a single one was to my like-ing, too much floaty-energetic-do-goody-bs on all of them.

fasterpastor2 · 2024-01-30T13:41:08+00:00

I had to see a therapist a ciiple times, the first i cant remebrr why, the second due to making a bad joke about having a gun in school once. It just so happened both times to be the woman at a women's crisis center my mom took us to when her mental illness led her to believe my dad was abusive (long story). She spent most of the time blaming everything on my dad and trying to help convince me he was abusive. I also drew pictures of me and my step-dad wrestling and it was perfectly acceptable for my mom to interject with an explanation to explain it away (oh did I tell you she was there the whole time basically double teaming me with this lady causing me enormous distress). When I eventually just broke down crying because I was 9, very scared, and just wanted to gi home/ see my dad (which i told her) she tried to comfort me with "I know I know let it out, I know your dad hurt you" or some similar bs.

I have seen another male counselor more recently but it didn't go super well either. He was a cool guy and we'd probably be friends but I don't feel like it helped much at all

oooposting · 2024-01-29T23:33:30+00:00

I'm a woman and I've never found a good therapist. Honestly I just don't think my problems (lifelong depression and anhedonia) are that treatable

TURBO_SCROTUM · 2024-01-30T02:38:00+00:00

My experience has been great. Very understanding even when I discussed gender-related anxieties.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2024-01-30T03:05:15+00:00

I had a very good female therapist. That said, I have asperger's and I went to a specialist neurodiversity clinic, so she had an extensive understanding of my condition.

liferelationshi · 2024-01-30T03:19:35+00:00

Yes, by choice. I specifically went to seek relationship advice and guidance and wanted a woman’s perspective. She was good and helpful. It’s the only time I went to therapy. No complaints.

Due_Regular3329 · 2024-01-30T05:36:43+00:00

My experience with a female therapist was not great. For starters, she wouldn’t listen to what I had to say. I’d talk, and she’d go off on a tangent about something else and then assign me homework that wasn’t relevant to anything in my life. On the rare occasion she did listen to me, she gave me the classic “how did that make you feel?” nonsense that doesn’t really help much.

I started seeing a male therapist and he was much better. This guy was awesome. He owned a cattle ranch and would do therapy on the side. Our sessions were like shooting the shit with a friend rather than being analyzed and treated like a specimen. He listened to what I had to say, gave excellent advice on how to fix/overcome, and was just better all around at giving me actual solutions and new perspectives. He actually helped me so much and got me to such a good spot, I was able to quit therapy. Kinda sucks because it’s dang nice to have someone to talk to about stuff.

MadBlackGreek · 2024-01-30T07:18:02+00:00

I remember seeing an “art therapist” back in ‘11. We actually got along well (I was able to keep my libido in check even though she was well within range of my ‘type’); since I’m an artist, my therapy involved drawing in my sketchbook, though I could tell one of my drawings really knocked her off-balance!

tilldeathdoiparty · 2024-01-30T08:29:40+00:00

I have had a few different therapists throughout my life, and I have had poor results from all the men, not that they suck, but I was never an easy patient, if I am being honest.

The last two I’ve had have been women. First One all she wanted to talk about was me quitting drinking, I always left so drained, but I was fighting the inevitable, she moved into a different field and referred me to the one I have now. I have never had someone actually catch what I am saying, correct it and tell me exactly what I need to hear and how to get the results I am looking for. I did end up getting off the booze, and am committed to improvement so she is more correcting me when I stray and get stressed out.

I have found it’s more important about the fit and ability to communicate their message, just like relationships, work or personal, there’s good or bad of anything.

Critical-Citron181 · 2024-01-30T09:49:09+00:00

Yea, she felt that any issues that I eventually became open to talking about, was due to my lack of communication, that I was the one who needed to change to solve any and all issues

Yoramus · 2024-01-30T10:40:06+00:00

I have seen a male one and a female one.

The female one was much better in almost everything than the male one but yes when we got to male perspective on things she just can't doesn't see it the same way.

She thinks all men are thrilled to pay for dates and I should be like that too while every single man I spoke to told me that men paying for dates is an unfortunate reality and they do it just to get with the flow.

Cowboy71113 · 2024-01-30T16:43:46+00:00

I’ve seen a couple, tbh I preferred them to male therapists, I’ve got a lot of shit I need to sort through, I never really needed solutions, mostly I needed to vent and get perspective, between the 4 therapists I’ve seen 2 were men and 2 were women. The men offered solutions and the women listened and offered perspective. So far the female therapists were what I needed. Not to say male therapists won’t do this, it just hasn’t been my experience so far.

SlyPogona · 2024-01-30T17:58:11+00:00

Yes, she downplayed that my partner raped me, that I was in a foreign country and had a hard time adjusting to it, and that was my first session and also last one. I had one before when I was young and she'd just telll me I was blessed and all of my problems are because I was bad at managing just how lucky I was

rhoo31313 · 2024-01-30T21:12:28+00:00

I've had good and bad experiences with both sexes. It's all about finding one you connect with.

username_ta_ · 2024-02-01T04:57:37+00:00

I went to a female couples therapist (Psychologist) in a past relationship, all her focus was on my ex. A fight happened and I emailed the therapist asking what to do and she responded warning me my ex checked all the boxes of the DSM criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder and told me to educate myself on it. The rest ended pretty quick.

My personal therapist of a few years is a guy who is also a personal trainer at a gym in the mornings. I feel super fortunate to have come across him.

ruinleon · 2024-02-01T05:16:44+00:00

I was discussing csa and all my abuse and what I would do if I didn't get justice needless to say it ended with a 10k medical debt bill that I'm ignoring as it's extortion for her shitty services never again will I pick a female therapist who has out of touch clients only making themselves out of touch when yknow a guy tries to proccess trauma and can't get a good answer out of anyone including women who are more affected by it. Overall never again will I trust a female even one that I'm paying to be even half honest with me

JanniesAreLosers · 2024-02-03T14:56:18+00:00

Spectacularly useless.

Title	Have any of you seen a female therapist before? If so what was your experience like?
Author	luciusvorenus_
Upvotes	69
Comments	59
Date	January 29, 2024 10:54 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1ae8tsl/have_any_of_you_seen_a_female_therapist_before_if/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/have-any-of-you-seen-a-female-therapist-before-if.1244126 https://theredarchive.com/post/1244126

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