What should I do 32F

Hang_your_halo · 2024-02-06T02:33:28+00:00

You have to do what makes you happy. You cannot live your life for someone else. Just understand the reality of going after the life you want.

What about your brothers? Could your family have a relationship with them and their families?

ColeIsBae · 2024-02-06T02:45:09+00:00

This whole thing is very weird lol. No offense. Why on earth would your parents "hate bring grandparents"? That makes no sense...

CountTheBees · 2024-02-06T03:18:05+00:00

This is weird. They do realise that if they cut you off, none of their children will be there for them in their old age? Dying alone is really scary. They should be worrying about keeping you happy not the other way around. Don't let them mask over this basic fact.

Start a conversation about plans for care in old age with them.

ArkNemesis00 · 2024-02-06T02:33:54+00:00

It's fiction, but you might be interested in Jane Austen's novel 'Persuasion'. The lesson learned by the protagonist is that when you decide your own life, you are less likely to have regret and that regret will be less painful than if you let others decide your life for you.

If you want to have a family, work towards that goal. If you want your children to be close with family, be good to your in-laws and strengthen your connection to your brothers. Having lots of cousins and aunts and uncles sounds like a lot of fun.

I personally grew up very distant from most of my extended family, but my parents are lovely and they spent so much of their time with us. No one will have everything. Give them what you can.

Wife_and_Mama · 2024-02-06T03:03:45+00:00

My husband and I don't really get help raising our children. We're having our 4th in April and they're all under three. It's honestly fine. We enjoy being with our kids, taking them places when we go out. I love running errands with them. A couple of times a year, my parents might watch them so we can have a date night, but otherwise, it's just us. His parents live in another state and are really too old. My dad isn't as interested as he pretends to be to keep my step-mom happy. My step-mom works in disaster relief, so she's gone a lot. She also just has her own grandkids and they all live closer and her kids ask her to babysit all the time. My mother is dead.

I have a really close relationship with my Gramma. She was more like a mother in many ways. Sometimes, I mourn the fact that my kids won't have that, but then I remember that I wouldn't have needed it if my parents had stepped up more. If you want a family, your parents can go kick rocks. Get on it, though. You're 32. You'll never regret anything more if you completely miss your chance for external reasons.

Ok_Outside149 · 2024-02-06T09:17:37+00:00

You can’t let your parents determine your path in life. And if being a mother is your dream then absolutely do not let them ruin that.

You should start a support group for your brothers. You’re single with 11 niblings, you could surely take 3-5 of them at a time for a weekend. Hopefully your brothers will appreciate that and when you have your own children they’ll be there too. Big sleepovers with the cousins were a great part of my childhood. Also, depending on their ages, by the time you have children, your nieces and nephews could also babysit!

youllknowwhenitstime · 2024-02-06T10:17:03+00:00

Do you think people whose parents are dead should not have children? Sometimes grandparents are just not in the picture. My husband had only one set because the others were dead - they had been very old when they had his mother, and his mother had him at an older age as part of her second set of kids.

What do you mean by having no support? You should not have kids without a committed man in the picture, and there are other ways to get a "village" - friends who are also parents, your in-laws, pseudo-grandparents from church or another intergenerational social group, etc. It sounds like you may need to make a mental break away from relying on your parents socially.

Independent-Hall4929 · 2024-02-06T07:42:43+00:00

Marry a man that actually has normal parents?

Anonymous_fiend · 2024-02-06T13:05:27+00:00

What your parents think of you marrying and having kids is the least of your concerns. Fertility steeply drops at 35 in healthy weight women. Being uw or obese lowers it. Are you even in a ltr? If not why not? You’re at an age you can’t just hope to get married and have kids you need to actively plan it.

What’s a “big family” to you? Quite frankly without ivf 1-2 kids may be as big as you get. And having a large family can be expensive. It takes time to conceive and you aren’t currently trying. And if you’re on hormonal bc (especially if on it for a long time) it make take longer.

At 32 you shouldn’t be allowing your parents opinions to control your life. It’s your life. If a marriage and kids really matter then you’ll resent them interfering with that. Your kids would have paternal grandparents and maternal uncles and cousins.

My guess is they don’t want you to get married because they want you to be a caretaker for them when they get older. They messed up with your brothers and realize if you had a family they wouldn’t be your priority. That’s extremely toxic and selfish. There’s not wanting to babysit grandchildren but actively hating being a grandparent is not normal. They only care about their wants and needs. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re narcissistic.

AutoModerator · 2024-02-06T01:48:14+00:00

Title: What should I do 32F

Author Shot_Performance_180

Full text: I have 3 older brothers & my parents have 11 grandchildren, they hate being grandparents and my brothers don’t speak to them anymore because of this. My parents don’t want me to marry & have children either, I desperately want to & I want a big family but I also am upset that if I go against their wishes I will have no support & basically will be denying my kids the thing of having maternal grandparents

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Pristine-Can3719 · 2024-02-10T03:29:44+00:00

Find guy who is at least 10 year older than you

Title	What should I do 32F
Author	Shot_Performance_180
Upvotes	0
Comments	34
Date	February 6, 2024 1:48 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1ajy4x7/what_should_i_do_32f/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/what-should-i-do-32f.1244679 https://theredarchive.com/post/1244679

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