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[–]Sure-Wish3240 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Greetings. These rules i will tell will help you on all aspects of your life, not just losing virginity.
Control your demons. Anger, sarcasm and vitriol will not get you anywhere.
Never hold back on your feelings and desires. You like someone, tell her.
Never hold anyone in your mind. Friendzone is a fate worst than death. You got a rejection, move on.
Act. Do not plan. Do not overthink. Go for the kiss, dont ask for a kiss.
Being safe is better than being insecure. This works for money, driving, drinking and sex. If there is a remotely chance of sex, stay clean, trimmed and with a condom.
Give your A game always. No hurry, no half assed work. Be slow and steady at the touching, kissing, fingering and licking.
Forget porn. That stuff doesnt work irl.
Things will happen. And you will only have a proper measure of the relevance of things decades later. So when in doubt, Go for the kiss. Always. Regret for the things you havent done will eat at your soul when you are truly older.
[–]Cipherpol-9 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
This is good advice. Thanks. I don’t see how it particularly relates to a lot of what I wrote, though.
[–]Sure-Wish3240 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Sorry for not being specific.
Males do not become fully functional socially until mid 20s.
Its ok, normal and expected to have social issues at 19y.
I know it hurts. I know it feels unfair.
But that IS life. You are still growing into the man you will be. And the only way to be happy is that you like The man you will become.
For that you must learn to forgive yourself. Including the mistakes you believe you made with the 2 chances you had to get laid. In the grand scheme of things those chances lost are irrelevant, but only If you forgive yourself.
There are some chances for sex at high School. There are many chances for sex during college. But the true Golden age of your dick will be the first years after graduation, having a job, being fit, handsome and single.
Hit the gym. Study, work. Have some friends. Get out with your friends. Try to make new friends. Learn you game living your life.
If you really wanna cheat , make a tinder profile as a virgin. Even on a small town, at least a dozen ladies will volunteer to pop your cherry. Online dating should not be your main source of pussies, more like your hobby,
[–]Cipherpol-9 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hey. its been some days now and I’m feeling a lot better self-esteem wise, and feel more ready to step outside of my comfort zone. I’ve been sourcing and getting matches on tinder, as well as working up the courage to start doing cold approaches. (i’ve actually never done a cold approach before) I had an opportunity last night but didn’t. I feel myself getting closer though.
[–]Silver_Streak01 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wise words here. Wish I had an award to give, but here's the token 🪙.
[–]dkmegg22 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Ok soo you need to really get out of your comfort zone big time. I'm also gonna assume you dress well have good hygiene and are health conscious.
For one semester you aren't gonna focus on getting laid. You are trying to run when you need to walk. A socially quiet akward guy isn't gonna
Soo here you go
Sign up for improv club: this helps you learn to think on your feet and gets you out of your comfort zone.
Sign up for Toastmasters international(if you have it): This will help with public speaking and charisma and is a great networking tool
Concurrently play sports on a co-ed team. Don't try to seduce don't try to game. Focus on friendship and practice learning how to talk to women. Optionally you can skip this and instead join a study group of guys and girls and you'll make more friends. Being more social is key. People want to be around others having a good time.
Ask for mental health help with your emotions. Talk to someone about that.
After the end of the semester go out, practice what you've learned. Try to get rejected 100 times and then another 100 until you're desensitized to rejection.
Maybe that will help you.
[–]themostgianthorse 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
+1 for improv and toastmasters.
[–]dkmegg22 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I wanna be honest I'm not someone who gets laid alot but I'm working on changing that through growing and developing. But if I was in OP place that's where I'd start.
[–]MeanYeti 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I've thought about improv but man theater kids are such weirdos
[–]dkmegg22 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They may be but improv will take you out of your comfort zone which will help you develop more interests and hobbies that you can meet women(although you aren't focusing on that).
[–]Silver_Streak01 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Buddy, you're 19. That's really young. No reason for you to feel defeated here. You do that and admit it, you're never winning.
The fight here, is not about getting in bed with someone. The fight is about becoming someone you are prund of, someone you can openly admit you love being. Get on track to becoming that, and there will be girls who feel the same.
[–]Cipherpol-9 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’d definitely say I am someone I’m proud of. I’ve been successful in most things from school to sports, I have hobbies that I enjoy, long term goals that I’m striving to achieve through school, etc. But from my point of view, I am not successful in how i interact / portray myself to other people.
[–]AngeloMacon 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You don't have a charm or socially awkward problem. You have a low self esteem problem. One year of college and you messed up twice with women seems to indicate that you have some basic level of skills.
[–]Puzzled_Nail_1962 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You don't think too slow or are too boring to come up with things. This is your anxiety taking over and shutting down the rest of your thinking. You're thinking so much about how you don't know how to interact that thats all you can focus on. I'd bet you don't have this problem with close friends or immediate family like your parents. This is not your personality. Your anxiety is stopping your actual personality from coming out.
How do you solve this?
And no offense, but don't give too much credit to the posts you read here. Not saying they're made up, but people surely like painting themselves a lot smoother than they really are.
[–]dick_head4life1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Don’t do anything. It’ll give us other guys a chance 😃
[–]zapadz -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JDi1xWeAGA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnhWiq3E7eI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85jQpsxhMCc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXehvygXNEc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twTrrGiRXtY
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link
Lol I see you recommending videos on most comments
[–]NikeTracksuit 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link
Yeah and I hate him, can't he just say what he wants instead of linking hours of videos?
[–]JF803 -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link
A lot of success with women is adopting a philosophy and changing the way you think about yourself. For some guys hours of reinforcement from lots of different sources is going to help a lot more than a few paragraphs on Reddit. No harm in recommending them, maybe someone watches one and has a useful paradigm shift.
[–]NikeTracksuit 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link
I think I'm handsome but that doesn't mean women will think that aswell
[–]JF803 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link
Okay? You can’t do much about how you look outside working out, being well groomed and dressing well. Social skills, confidence, the way you think about the world and intersexual dynamics, and the actions you take (which is the whole point of this sub) are dynamic qualities that can be learned.
[–]NikeTracksuit 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
Ok, but that doesn't mean that I will be good looking enough to be able to have sex with women. If I lack the minimum threshold of looks all that stuff doesn't matter.
[–]JF803 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
If looks are all that matters and you don’t think you have them then why the fuck are you even here? Attitudes and behaviors for attracting women can be learned, confidence can be learned. Which brings me back to the original point - videos and different view points can help with these things. Take your negative mentality somewhere else
[–]NikeTracksuit 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
Because looks is what seduces women (at least what opens the door) and this sub is called "seduction" I'm not negative, I'm realist. Attitude and behavior start mattering only if she likes your LOOKS.
[–]zapadz 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
Way uglier guys than you have had success
[–]NikeTracksuit1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
You don't know how I look
[–]zapadz1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I’m sure you look better than Robert Hoge, Shame Burcaw, and Sean Stephenson, and they got married.
[–]NikeTracksuit0 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Sean Stephenson's marriage was a scam, his wife didn't even want to kiss him, and small detail, he was a millionaire. I don't know Robert Hoge but googling his name it seems like he has an important job as political advisor.
[–]zapadz2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Sean Stephenson's marriage was a scam, his wife didn't even want to kiss him
https://i.imgur.com/tOTcPdz.jpg
he has an important job as political advisor.
So? Plenty of guys with great jobs still struggle with women. If you think that’s the problem get a good job.
You’re just looking for excuses to avoid taking action.
There was a video by the YouTuber Looks Maximus that dissected Sean Stephenson's marriage. We are still talking about a millionaire who only got "action" (I doubt he even fucked his wife) because he was a millionaire, how realistic is that? "Just get a good job bro" lol like getting a good job is something you choose, and I don't want women who are around me only because of my money.
because he was a millionaire
You have 0 proof this is the only reason she married him. She was also successful and could have easily secured a successful husband who was more physically attractive. Also you’ve provided no proof Robert Hoge is rich and only got married because of it either.
lol like getting a good job is something you choose,
…yes it is. Work hard and get a valuable skill.
and I don't want women who are around me only because of my money.
So you want someone who likes your looks instead? You understand that has less chance of lasting that money?
You are just looking for excuses to avoid trying. I have personally seen plenty of short or ugly guys get success. You’ve just decided in advance you can’t as an excuse.
It's literally on the internet
Yeah bro I'll magically become a doctor at 30
Yes, my looks is me, my money is something outside of me. Define success, to me being married to a gold digger isn't success, and we live in 2022 no woman is gonna settle for a deformed guy with a good job.
There’s nothing on the internet that proves his wife only married him because he was rich.
Yes you can get a good job after 30
No, your looks aren’t “you”. Looks are not stable, they will decay as you get older. If she only likes your looks, she will leave you for a better looking guy.
Are you horribly deformed? No you aren’t. Just a google search can show you tons of examples of morbidly obese men with girlfriends or wives. Your “I don’t qualify for looks threshold”, is just nonsense.
Do you really need proof to believe that a woman married a deformed rich guy with low life expectancy just for money? Come on now.
You can, but women won't care, they cared back then, not now, that's why it's not a viable strategy, they can make their own money they will not settle for a below average guy with a decent job.
It's you in a sense that it's your genetics. It decays, but if you have blue eyes they will stay blue and there is the possibility of you passing them to your kids.
And that’s why your argument about Sean makes no sense, his wife was already successful, she could have just married a different Normal looking successful man.
You have no life experience if you don’t think average guys with decent jobs get girls. Literally just take a step out of your house and look at the couples you see.
That’s also true for money, you can pass the money onto your kids. You still haven’t explained why someone with you for your looks is better than for your money, both are conditional.
How many millionaires ready to marry 30+ yo women are out there?
Money is something that can be taken from you, looks isn't, your genetics isn't, and if a woman is with you for money her attraction is not biological, she is not lusting over you and the quality of your relationship is gonna be shit.
You have zero perspective of life experience
Millionaires marry women that age or older all the time. Do you know any millionaires or pay attention to the news at all?
Not only is looks something that can be taken from you, unlike money, which is more than likely going to stay and expand, looks is destined to get worse. You get older, and your looks fade.
“Lust” has nothing to do with whether a relationship is good or not lmao. First off studies already show more attractive people have more relationship problems.
Passion naturally wanes in a relationship, even if your partner is a 10/10 eventually, usually after 3-5 years, the passion decreases, and you’d be more turned on my a new person, even if they are objectively not as attractive.
Also, unlike with men, you can get a woman to feel lust towards you even if they aren’t attracted to you physically. Try actually TALKING to a woman, plenty will tell you they aren’t attracted to most men initially, but they can become extremely attracted if he says or does something that attracts them, like wise becoming Unattracted to someone they were attracted to initially if he does something they don’t like. Women and men are not the same.
Ex: women reported having orgasms in the crowd in Nazi Germany when Hitler spoke. It was NOT because of how physically attractive Hitler was. You will never hear something like that happening to men.
Lol no, millionaires don't marry older women, that's rare.
Your genes is not something that can be taken away from you, if you have the gene for height you will not get short when you age and you still have the ability of make tall babies. On the other hand if you have money they can be taken away from you because they aren't part of you. Lust is something needed in the first stage of relationship. Attractive people have more relationship problems because unattractive people don't have relationships at all lol.
It doesn't matter, if the passion is not there, and the passion is given by looks, the relationship will not even start.
Got a source of this buddy? Maybe they marry younger on average, but still older couples form all the time.
Your genes is not something that can be taken away from you, if you have the gene for height you will not get short when you age
Actually, you do get slightly shorter as you get older.
But I wasn’t talking about height. Your looks do decay as you get older, an 60 year old man isn’t as attractive as when he was 30.
and you still have the ability of make tall babies.
That’s irrelevant. If you’re an ugly 70 year old a woman won’t be physically attracted to you just because she sees pictures of you when you were young and handsome because she saw your “genetic potential”
On the other hand if you have money they can be taken away from you because they aren't part of you.
For the fourth time, your looks are also taken away from you as you get older. Stop running away from the point. This is an objective fact, unless you are seriously trying to argue the average senior citizen is equally as attractive to when they were in their youth and prime???
Lust is something needed in the first stage of relationship. Attractive people have more relationship problems because unattractive people don't have relationships at all lol.
You have no idea what you’re talking about.
No, that’s not what the data shows, they were comparing unattractive people in relationships to attractive people in relationships. The actual evidence debunks your world view here, you can’t just talk your way around it.
Tf do you mean unattractive people don’t have relationships? You understand that almost every single person, men included, has at least one relationship in their life right?
There is plenty of data showing women rating men as more attractive based on things irrelevant to their physical attractiveness, how do you explain that?
[–]RicoEStrong -3 points-2 points-1 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Try to play college football
[–]putcoolusernamehere 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thankfully, you are young. I’d kill to be 19 again and have the mentality I have now. Work on yourself everyday, you’ll be amazed how quickly the effort snowballs. Hit the gym, study (a stem major), and start putting yourself in more social situations (just regular hangouts with male friends at first). Also work on your mental health. 1 school year of working on this stuff and by start of year next year you’ll have no problem getting dates.
[–]incognito3107 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This can be learned, you should throw yourself into many different social situations where you need to interact with people. Also you should start exercising and limit porn to stay more clear.
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[–]Sure-Wish3240 11 points12 points13 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Cipherpol-9 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sure-Wish3240 5 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Cipherpol-9 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Silver_Streak01 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dkmegg22 6 points7 points8 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]themostgianthorse 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dkmegg22 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MeanYeti 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dkmegg22 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Silver_Streak01 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Cipherpol-9 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AngeloMacon 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Puzzled_Nail_1962 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dick_head4life1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]zapadz -1 points0 points1 point (23 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (22 children) | Copy Link
[–]NikeTracksuit 1 point2 points3 points (21 children) | Copy Link
[–]JF803 -1 points0 points1 point (20 children) | Copy Link
[–]NikeTracksuit 0 points1 point2 points (19 children) | Copy Link
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[–]NikeTracksuit 0 points1 point2 points (17 children) | Copy Link
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[–]zapadz 1 point2 points3 points (14 children) | Copy Link
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[–]RicoEStrong -3 points-2 points-1 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]putcoolusernamehere 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]incognito3107 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link