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What happens when a man brings up commitment rather than waiting for a woman to do it?

pepperoninips7
March 11, 2018
21 upvotes
/r/askTRP
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Post Information
Title What happens when a man brings up commitment rather than waiting for a woman to do it?
Author

pepperoninips7
Upvotes 21
Comments 27
Date March 11, 2018 3:41 PM UTC
(8 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/83nf2y/what_happens_when_a_man_brings_up_commitment/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/what-happens-when-a-man-brings-up-commitment.125518
https://theredarchive.com/post/125518
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Comments

[–]JerryMullin1978 65 points66 points67 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Women love chasing commitment the way men chase sex. It’s their version of getting laid because sex is so easy to get. When a man brings it up, it doesn’t give them a chance to do so. It sub-communicates a low SMV. If he’s high value and can easily get women, why would he commit so quick? A man’s biological drive is to bang as many women as possible.

[–]3d_truth9 points10 points11 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This is good answer

[–]Shredderick4206 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This i came to realize in my latest ventures, that is why being too available, too in, too nice kills all the attraction by killing the chase.

[–]Kempiet2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I hate that this is a good answer. Really personally struggling through this reality of how things are regarding women and the dating game.

[–]Big_Red_suppository1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I think guys also do it because they're "supposed to be a man and make the move". You don't normally hear about women getting on one knee and proposing marriage or asking guys to prom.

Dating with the upfront "im not looking for a relationship" really brings that into perspective. The reactions I've gotten tell me it is not the norm by a long shot.

[–]Shredderick4200 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This i came to realize in my latest ventures, that is why being too available, too in, too nice kills all the attraction by killing the chase.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon13 points14 points15 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Betadom

[–]redpilledjoe9 points10 points11 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

I don't know personally. But I'd suspect you're entering her frame. Aka giving her the power to define the relationship. Big no no. If you find the right girl you probably won't even have "the talk". It'll be assumed your monogamous

[–]poisedStygian4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

While I appreciate the sentiment of commitment being subcommunicated through actions, never assume monogamy. It must be explicitly stated initiated by her and boundaries set (put a price on it) , if desired, otherwise you're in for a world of hurt.

[–]redpilledjoe0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Well said.

[–]TheLongerCon0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Nice to see someone on here who knows what he’s talking about.

[–]pepperoninips73 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Why would they assume that you're monogamous?

[–]redpilledjoe2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Because you spend so much time together. Asking for commitment is the same thing as negotiating desire.

[–]CommanderCumlord1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If you find the right girl you probably won't even have "the talk". It'll be assumed your monogamous

This in action gentlemen; over time and through mutual actions. It won’t be quick but over time you’ll slowly develop comfort and she’ll invest more and more in you. Just back off and give women space instead of jumping on.

Although one thing to note is making sure they don’t use this against you. Land on a different dick and say: “b-but we never said we were exclusive!” Easy fix for this one though: Next.

[–]Soderbergh10 points11 points12 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

What happens is the woman thinks you’re a loser who can’t get women, but on a subconscious level. They also start thinking they are better than you and worth more than you. It also forces the guy into being more the chaser instead of being the prize.

In short, a whole bunch of things start to go wrong.

Never ever offer commitment or suggest it. You need to give their hamster some reason to hamster.

[–]TheDisillusionist 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

They lose.

[–]NorthWonder2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Dat dry puss

[–]mchurry1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

So apparently its like a girl asking a man for sex at the bar haha

[–]Merwebb0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

He gets dumped. Been there. Dont do it.

[–]3chazthundergut0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It's like an exotic bird flying willingly into a cage.

It is unnatural, and a great way to kill a woman's attraction.

[–]katerzgonkate0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I disagree with everyone else’s replies to OP. You can have a girl hooked for life by doing that.

[+]AGameofTrolls-6 points-5 points-4 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Ok. Here's my situation now. I've been seeing this girl since mid December. She lives by herself and is always struggling to come up with rent ($1400/mo). We go out and sometimes she invites me to stay over. She's gotten very comfortable with me and I've been lending her money to pay up rent, she has paid me back the money that she borrows from me. Even though she has a full-time job and baby sits sometimes during the week she's always short and struggling with her finances. The big thing here is that she does have a boyfriend, but never really talks about him. She avoids the conversation. I told her this week that she should move in with me and she is thinking about it. What can I do to help her make up her mind and dump her loser bf?

[–]alchamest3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

wow, dude. Are you trolling?

Firstly if she is shit at paying rent and finances, why rush to move in with her? Think about it, she is going to be a burden to you.

Secondly, She has a BF. Why do you want to move in with a girl you have a hard on for that has a BF, is it so you can hear them fuck in the room next to you? You can see him come out all hot and sweaty after nailing the chick your into?

If you want to help her come around, cut her loose. If she comes back to you then she is yours. if she does not, then she never was.

[–]AGameofTrolls-2 points-1 points0 points 8 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

The idea is to ask her to move in with me and dump the bf. No way that guy is getting near her if she decides to go with me and she would actually save a ton of $ splitting expenses with me. She needs to save some money and refocus on life a little bit. Obviously, if she turns me down I'll know where her heart is and I'll just move on and let her struggle on her own. The question is, what can I say that would motivate her to actually make a change in her life without losing frame and without sounding like a needy beta?

[–]katerzgonkate2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol dude. I think this kind of thinking is why red pill exists. Apparently there are a good number of people with totally bonkers ideas like this that finally get so frustrated of fucking themselves that they go ridiculously overboard in the other direction.

It shouldn’t be that hard. Use your head dude. Nothing about this situation is sane. Of course you don’t fawn over a girl with a bf and pay her rent. That’s not red pill advice. That’s the most common of common sense. Stop.

[–]alchamest1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

So let me get this straight, you are wanting to ask her to 1) move in with you AND 2) dump the bf
AND 3) be your gf, who you will be living with.

Man, this is a lot to ask someone explicitly. If you are looking for a magic way to get all of this then check if you have some covert contracts going on here, be honest with yourself.

I think you should take some time before trying to put this into action, I'd recommend reading "No More Mr Nice guy" ( i learned heaps about covert contracts here and how i used them) , you seem fixated on solving her problems/helping her, but in doing that you have ulterior motives of your own.

So the phrase that you are seeking to swing her around to what you think is best. here it is " Do you want to move in with me, dump your bf and be my gf, I care about you and think this is a great choice for you because you will save money and i am better than he is, i want you too. I want you to move in with me & ill take care of you. Better than he ever could."

What you want is impossible, your proposition for her is for you to be a beta bux. This is why you are needy, you offer her that, ill do these things for you and in return you will love me.

[–]AGameofTrolls0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Hey, thanks for that phrase you wrote down. I really don't plan to pay her rent. It will be a split down the middle agreement, and I know that if I start throwing money at her it will end up being the worst possible move I can do. She will save a lot of money if she decides to bunk with me though.... I'll keep you posted after with the results. Got any other advice? It's always welcome.

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