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[–]ReadyTelephone2395 26 points27 points28 points 4 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link
Try to go with friends at least.
It gives you social proof and more approachable.
Alone guy at the bar isnt very inviting at all
[–]ftdrain 36 points37 points38 points 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
On the contrary, going lone wolf is efficient as fuck, if you go with friends you often just stay talking with each other and nothing happens
[–]froze_gold 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
That was something I noticed. There was a large group near me and all the dudes grouped up to talk and left the girls alone. I know I'd be sitting and talking with then because ending up in groups puts me in that zone but... Social anxiety is still fuckin me over these days for some reason. Rip
[–]ftdrain 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I also have social anxiety, Ive made out with girls while slightly trembling from the adrenaline, just push through
[–]froze_gold 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I plan on going out tomorrow again, even tho it's Sunday I live in the city and there's always something. With some positive reinforcement on how going lone wolf isnt bad and that I faced a fear I've had for the last few months I'll try to push right through and talk to someone, even if I get rejected
[–]brothesdan 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I find sundays better
[–]surfershane25 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Talk to some guys and get over the social anxiety hump and if you’re friendly and looking social women will be much more open than if they feel singled out by you and you’re nervous.
[–]ReadyTelephone2395 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
how so?
if you go with a group it's not like you have to stay with them.
[–]5_7pickup 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Going with wings is only good if your wings have game. If they got approach anxiety like OP then nobodys getting laid.
[–]ReadyTelephone2395 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Your wings dont need game.
They just need to look good lol.
This signifies you are apart of an attractive group.
[–]Day9125 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I hate to be on my high horse but what if you're actually better looking than they are?
[–]ReadyTelephone2395 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Then that's good?
You know there can be more than one attractive guy in a group right?
[–]Day9125 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Absolutely. I'm not saying I don't have any friends I'd deem attractive. Hell, a lot of my friends are older than me.
Anyways that was kinda hypothetical because we are all attracted to different things/people.
[–]5_7pickup 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Spoken like someone who doesn’t run game.
[–]SpartacusLaw 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
100% agree, the lone wolf is approachable to women, a group of dudes is not.
[–]TheNoobtologist 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’ve actually found this to be true as well. When I go with friends, I feel comfortable just staying with the group. By myself, I have to move out of my comfort zone.
I had some buddies show up out of nowhere and say hi a minute ago, don't know how they knew I was here. Just glad to feel numb rn. Fuck society :P
[–]msbbc671 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
As a 37 year old who underperformed until my mid/late20’s, I can tell you this is the wrong mentality.
Being positive and someone who people want to be around will get you what you want — girls, promotions at work, into places, new friends.
I had bad anxiety in college and would overdrink at parties/bars. It did nothing good for me. You’re probably a good dude and when I realized I was a good dude, I was able to be more into my skin. Smiling and saying thank you to a random stranger / bartender / cashier can strike up a convo that will turn into other convos with other strangers.
None of that “Fuck society” shit. Be happy and you will attract what you want.
I think it's easy to be negative in 2022. If you're anything like me, you've had a negative experience with online dating. You're told you shouldn't approach women at x, y and z place. Then you throw your hands up like "well, where the fuck do I meet women then?"
[–]rahhumilovedogs 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hmm. I find it's better when alone. Girls approach me unless I'm with other people
[–]Ninjaswagxz 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Going to the bar alone is fun! Everytime I go alone there has not once been an instance where someone wouldn’t approach me. I would go get my drink and someone would just come up to me and ask to hangout! When im with a group of people tho no one comes up to me
[–]VitaliRayne 4 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
I'n 41 and have traveled in spurts for work. I'm attractive, wealthy, well dressed, and confident. I have never been hit on by someone who I'd want to take to my bed, while alone drinking in a bar. Sure it could happen, but what would I be getting?
Consider HARD what the women you're seeing are interested in. I doubt they actually want a one night stand. Maybe what you're hoping will happen is actually a false reality.
Or, just enjoy your drinks at the bar and swim around in self imposed sexual tension. It's not going to get you laid very often but it isn't a bad thing.
[–]Day9125 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
As someone who has approach anxiety... That's exactly my problem. You either approach and take a shot or get nowhere. That's how it is for almost all men.
[–]VitaliRayne1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
"... almost all men"
If you're willing to generalize almost all men, then I'll assume you're also generalizing almost all women. If so, then I assert that you're going to have a hard time empathizing with the individual wants and needs of the people you're hoping to connect with.
[–]These_Invite -4 points-3 points-2 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
I also think it's a bad idea to go alone
[–]froze_gold 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Yeah probably was but I'm moving slowly into taking more risks. I usually have a friend
[–]5_7pickup 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nah bro. Keep going solo. Thats how I cultivate this lit ass life im living right now. Refer to my field reports.
[–]These_Invite -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
It's all good man, just have an excuse ready like I was going to meet a buddy here tonight but he canceled at the last minute or I'm checking this place out. We are thinking about having a work event here. Something like that.
[–]focus_flow69 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You dont need an excuse. An excuse implies there is something wrong with what you are doing or you are embarrassed to be out by yourself. You aren't.
If you want to go out alone you go out alone. If someone asks (people rarely ask and probe), just state you are here by yourself enjoying a drink. There's no need to elaborate or further follow unless they ask (again people will rarely ask).
If they do ask, you just tell them why you are out, stated as very matter of fact. yea I just wanted to grab a drink and have some chats with some cool people. That's it.
I go out to events and meet people solo all the time, and few ever ask, and for ones that do ask, I just tell them I'm here by myself. And that's it. Then they usually tell me wow you are so brave and how I could never do that and we continue talking.
[–]froze_gold 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
That sounds kind of tight-ass no offense. The bar I started at had a couch (speak easy spot) that I snugged myself into and chilled. I would've said something along the lines of "I like the drinks"
[–]ftdrain 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You dont need an excuse, I go out alone all the time and I always end up making out with a girl, compared to going out with friends its way more efficient
Yes and no. I was out with friends once. They were talking to a couple women. I was off to the side doing my own thing and relaxing. One of them wanted me to come over. I wound up making out with her later that night before we all went home.
Risk is the wrong way to look at it, simply talking to a woman isn’t a risk, I mean unless she clearly has a boyfriend or you do something inappropriate but just observe a bit and talk to a bunch of people, men and women, hand out compliments and you may get introduced don’t go expecting anything and it will all fall together, but go out expecting to to be risky and you’re already fucked.
[–]burncushlikewood -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I hate going solo, problem is is that beautiful women are seldom solo, so you need a wing to help occupy her friend. Otherwise their competitive spirit will come out, and she may get upset if you try and game her friend
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[–]ReadyTelephone2395 26 points27 points28 points (19 children) | Copy Link
[–]ftdrain 36 points37 points38 points (14 children) | Copy Link
[–]froze_gold 13 points14 points15 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]ftdrain 5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]froze_gold 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]brothesdan 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]ReadyTelephone2395 2 points3 points4 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]5_7pickup 4 points5 points6 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]ReadyTelephone2395 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Day9125 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ReadyTelephone2395 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Day9125 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]5_7pickup 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SpartacusLaw 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]TheNoobtologist 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]froze_gold 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]msbbc671 9 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Day9125 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rahhumilovedogs 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ninjaswagxz 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]VitaliRayne [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Day9125 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]VitaliRayne1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]These_Invite -4 points-3 points-2 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]froze_gold 5 points6 points7 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]5_7pickup 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]These_Invite -3 points-2 points-1 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]focus_flow69 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]froze_gold 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ftdrain 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Day9125 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]surfershane25 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]burncushlikewood -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link