Will Lack of Sex Ruin My (M25) Relationship With My Girlfriend (F27)?

norwegiandoggo · 2022-04-29T08:30:15+00:00

Here are some ways to address it:

Seek out couples therapy (or a sex therapist)
Read books on this (Mating in Captivity, Come as You Are)
How is your physical shape / appearance compared to when you started dating? If you've declined, put in effort to get back to where you were
Ask about converting the relationship into an open relationship so you can get casual sex outside but with her permission.
Break up
Cheat

No_Inspection_7176 · 2022-04-29T11:16:27+00:00

To everyone saying that’s just marriage or it’s inevitable, it’s not. Especially since you don’t even have the outside forces interfering that typically slow down the sex (having kids, age, etc). I’d be seriously concerned if I were in your shoes, it sounds like you’re both young and without commitments and if your sex life is bad now it’s probably going to get worse if you ever decide to marry and/or have children. I’d recommend posting on the dead bedrooms reddit and talking to those people who have experience with what you’re going through, a sudden drop off of sex desire is not normal, has your partner been to a doctor?

13esq · 2022-04-29T08:59:58+00:00

You need to ask yourself if no/minimal sex is a deal breaker for your relationship. If it is, you need to tell her that and work out a solution that you're both happy with.

This is just an anecdote but I have a colleague who has two kids with his wife. His wife has zero interest in sex, because of this she lets him sleep around because that way they're both happy. They still do all the family stuff that any family does, he just gets the sex elsewhere and that works for them.

Zangief89 · 2022-04-29T10:02:58+00:00

If she’s not having sex with you then you aren’t making her excited and you aren’t being dominant enough. Don’t just try to turn her on to have sex turn her on all the time even when it’s not going to lead to sex. Feel her up in public, compliment her, grab her ass all the time. Talk dirty to her, make out with her in public, have sex in public. You gotta make things fun and exciting and unpredictable. Dominate her. Get her expecting a sexual encounter with you at any moment every day. Go out and have some drinks like you guys just met on Tinder, seduce her man

Zangief89 · 2022-04-29T09:50:17+00:00

extremely normal bro, gonna happen eventually to the best of us no matter who you are. Women are hormonal driven idc what she say or what ur doing. Change it up. Grab her by the throat throw her on the bed be dominant sometimes not giving her the choice works not saying rape her or force her you will know the difference between her actually not wanting it. Start massaging her and have a rope ready and tie her hands behind her back blind fold her. Sometimes being soft and asking and slowly trying is boring. Make her ur slut and do it. The attraction will then go back up. Easy

DetainTheFranzia · 2022-04-29T12:47:16+00:00

This happened to my relationship too. I’m 26, we were together 5 years, best friends, sex life dwindled after a couple years. I don’t know the answer. But here’s what I can say. You can’t take her attraction to you for granted. You need to maintain that. Obviously going on dates is part of that. But building sexual tension is another part. The push pull dynamic people talk about in this sub is something you should research.

You can’t give her everything she needs emotionally (not all the time at least). You have to tease her, give her a little something, but pull away and make her want you. When you sense she’s craving something from you, you have to keep heightening the tension. Eventually it should turn to flirting in a sexual way. But you have to draw back. I know being best friends makes you want to be your genuine self all the time. But that’s not great for sexual attraction. You have to veil yourself sometimes to keep her interested sexually.

Another thing is that no heart to heart is ever gonna make her sexually attracted to you. Again, it’s great that you guys have a close bond, but maintaining a sexual bond is different from maintaining a bond between two best friends. Both must be done.

VDKay · 2022-04-29T14:27:47+00:00

Sexual satisfaction and compatibility of both partners is of paramount importance in a sexual relationship (otherwise you are just friends or housemates).

Before moving on (which I would highly recommend at this point), It would be worth voicing your concerns to your GF. I don't mean in the form of nagging or being butthurt when she refuses sex. I mean, pick a calm moment and sit down with her, and express your concern clearly. Be clear with what you expect as outcome both from her and also for yourself. What frequency of sex you would be satisfied with? What could you do to make her more engaged and feel less like a chore for her? Talk through her feelings and how these have changed during the course of the relationship. Finally, make it also clear that if this situation remains unchanged, it is unacceptable from your part and you will be considering other options.

SEJ1970 · 2022-04-29T10:41:30+00:00

That sounds very much like marriage!!! 😉

Anyway, there was a lot to read on your post... Have a serious conversation as to what the problem may be and go from there...

One of the question should be, if she has fallen out of love and found someone else.

SEJ1970 · 2022-04-29T10:41:45+00:00

That sounds very much like marriage!!! 😉

Anyway, there was a lot to read on your post... Have a serious conversation as to what the problem may be and go from there...

One of the question should be, if she has fallen out of love and found someone else.

2022-04-29T10:22:14+00:00

/r/dating is that way

spiderSlayerr · 2022-04-29T08:27:09+00:00

Just have sex with other girls what’s the big deal

JetPillar · 2022-04-29T15:39:16+00:00

You are cheating. Period. End of story.

Don’t be a cheater

nevertextgoodnight · 2022-04-29T16:08:08+00:00

It's over dude

Women are seduced through their minds and fantasies and whatever life you've created ain't doing it for her. You like her more than she likes you. She's the center of your world and resents you for that

"Most women are in relationships that are like a chronic disease they learn to live with"

Title	Will Lack of Sex Ruin My (M25) Relationship With My Girlfriend (F27)?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	16
Comments	20
Date	April 29, 2022 8:20 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ueh7cz/will_lack_of_sex_ruin_my_m25_relationship_with_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/will-lack-of-sex-ruin-my-m25-relationship-with-my.1260896 https://theredarchive.com/post/1260896

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