Ask Hamsters why their relationships with a "nice guy" failed.

fiat_lux_ · 2014-03-14T23:24:21+00:00

My favorite part is when /u/Venne1138 tries to understand.

I can't even hate on this Venne1138 guy. Just read he says about himself:

I disagree. I'm not worth enough to be anything other than a doormat. At least a doormat doesn't get in people's way.

... I'd feel like I'm kicking a homeless guy. For his sake, I hope he climbs out of that hole.

AWiseBro · 2014-03-14T22:10:43+00:00

This is just shows that a lack of confidence in one's self is a massive turn off for women. I think the driving force behind all this beta behavior is the lack of an abundance mentality. Some guys have so few opportunities that when one finally shows up they're so terrified of fucking it up they become amenable to everything. If you're someone like this then adopting an abundance mentality will probably help you greatly. Don't be afraid to have your own opinions either.

Link_GR · 2014-03-14T23:37:55+00:00

Now, here's the thing. There's nothing inherently wrong with being a nice guy. As long as you don't do it to please others. You can do nice shit and still maintain your frame and your status. In fact, it's encouraged. Being in a position to help others and doing it is the most "alpha" thing someone can do, in my mind.

ScannerSloppy · 2014-03-14T21:48:32+00:00

I like how he says he always backs down from a fight, unless it's online.

papadop · 2014-03-15T00:31:03+00:00

The Red Pill dictates that just as women are wrong to not whine about men being selective on things like appearance and weight (what we men are naturally inclined to do) ---- men are equally wrong to complain or whine about women who are selective or dump their nice-guy aka beta boyfriends who pedestalize them (as women are naturally inclined to do).

So I'm against labeling these actually honest girls as "hamsters" here. They are simply telling examples of what in RP we know as a hardline fact.

fillmoreslimisback · 2014-03-14T22:00:53+00:00

I copied my response to a similar thread...

At one point being attractive and feminine as a woman was socially accepted as what women should be. Being masculine and attractive as a man was what men should be. So it was once very OK for a woman to not like a man because he wasn't physically attractive or socially masculine. An unattractive or non feminine woman would not be selected for a relationship.This worked because that's the way we are as humans

In comes feminism. Feminism tries to push the bullshit on everyone that "looks don't matter and personality does", "Masculinity is a bad thing", and "Women should not make being feminine a goal". This was cool for a second until feminist recognized one thing...

"With the freedom to sleep with any man, why would a woman sleep with an unattractive man?"

There wasn't a reason. Women constantly used their new found freedom to sleep with the hottest and most attractive 20% of men. In fact women now would have no reason to sleep with no one who was hot(until the wall is hit). At this point some people started to call bullshit on feminism and say "Why would feminism work so hard to turn men into someone that no woman would sleep with?", "Why are women still sleeping with men just based on shallow things like looks and and hotness?"

Feminism needed to cover its tracks.

Enter "The buzzwords"

"Creep" , "Nice Guy", "Good Guy", "Neckbeard", "Fedora Brigade".

Feminism took the people who were the most unattractive and started concocting hamster powered bullshit to give woman an out for not sleeping with these men. Now women have a reason beside old fashioned shallowness(which was OK before feminism) to not have to deal with unattractive men. With negative connotations like these, they can have negative opinions about unattractive men that aren't even in the relationship battle.

"See! I'm not treating this man like shit because he's unattractive, I'm treating him like shit because he's a <insert buzzword here>"

The spineless quality they are referring to is the very thing feminist have been trying to turn men into. They can't take responsibility and say "Hey we fucked up, we didn't mean be that blue pill" They have to put the blame on the guy for being the exact thing society has told them to be.

someboringdude · 2014-03-14T22:07:26+00:00

13 Points 18:09:34, 14 March I was looking for a comment like this. About a year ago I had dinner with a friend. I'd known her for years, when she was dating her undergrad sweetheart. They had a pretty ugly break up, and very shortly after she started dating a guy who she just married a few weeks ago.

The first guy was definitely your typical "nice guy". As the years went on it became more and more obvious to her that it wasn't so much that he was you know, nice but more just... Spineless. His family would say awful things about different races or even her multi racial status ("I would never want to bring a child into the world like that") but instead of asserting his supposed legitimate and genuine beliefs, he'd cower under the guise of "keeping the peace" which really meant "don't make such a big deal about it". When they broke up he said "I take back every nice thing I said and did for you". All of his nice actions were not genuine, they were based around fear she'd leave him, and the fear he'd force her to leave. Ultimately it was self fulfilling.

Her well... Now husband I guess. I like him a lot. A lot of her friends warned her about him after her ex. I mean you know the type. Bartender. Muscular. Long hair. Etc. Of course he only wants one thing...right?

They hung out. They took things slow. And she fell in love with him. When we were having dinner she was talking about him, and she was saying "yea he can be a jerk... But he always gives the benefit of the doubt. You have to earn his jerk personality, as well as his "nice" one. And sure enough, when a random patron made a comment about her race, he was sure able to turn that asshole personality on like a switch.

But maybe that's what makes him nice. I don't think nice is about bending over backwards. It's not about pleasing everyone. It's like ray guns of concentrated love. I love being nice to the people I love. I get paid to be nice to the people I am paid to be nice to. I chose who I get to be nice to otherwise. At the end of the day a lot of people end up being nice just as a billshit attempt to manipulate what they want, instead of just expressing it.

This is total TRP goodness right here.

SirNemesis · 2014-03-15T00:41:37+00:00

I hope /u/Venne1138 is satire. Sadly, I fear he is dead serious.

another1takesthepill · 2014-03-14T22:54:17+00:00

a hamster talked to me about the guy she dated for a year.

He got along well with my parents. But I couldn't love him cause I didn't admire him. The more he did for me the less I could stand him.

I was listening and thinking: I have read this somewhere. Thanks manosphere!

sway_usa · 2014-03-15T00:18:36+00:00

Some unusual honesty there. Interesting.

2014-03-15T02:44:05+00:00

I saw this post and I was thinking "oh lawd these is going to be the highest concentration of hamstering other than Toronto".... and then it turned out that the worst BP comments by a fucking mile came from a dude. Not going to link his comments, but holy shit, this guy... honestly, if he was my son, I would have to force myself everyday not to put him down, and then put myself down for spawning him.

Edit: NVM that was the dude you linked in the title. The horror, the horror...

eccentricrealist · 2014-03-15T01:15:16+00:00

Although this might not have been the only reason, this is what people mean about lack of communication.

He was too nice. We were having an argument and he exploded. It came out that he hated listening to the radio station I liked, he hated certain dishes I liked to cook, there were a lot of times he desperately didn't want to go do or see something that we did or saw, he hated the way I dress. But that wasn't why we broke up. We broke up because even though we had been together for almost two years, that was the first time I had ever heard him say those things. He would never disagree, never say "eh, I don't really feel like doing that/eating that today," and HE WOULD PUT THE RADIO ON THE STATION THAT I LIKED! I had no idea because he was trying so hard to be agreeable and "nice guy" that he was miserable. I wasn't even crazy about that radio station, I thought he was changing it to that because he liked it. That total lack of communication really killed our relationship.

rj88631 · 2014-03-15T02:23:18+00:00

God, I could just mine for this for gold nugget after gold nugget for days. I swear, it's like they don't even know they left the cookie jar on the table.

johnnight · 2014-03-15T02:24:05+00:00

Case in point.

Link_GR · 2014-03-15T07:05:56+00:00

Nice and pushover aren't the same thing though. You should never be a pushover.

2014-03-15T02:29:29+00:00

It all comes back to sex - women don't want a guy who just lays there, but an aggressive guy who's going to yank her hair, smack her ass, and fuck her blind.

Nice guys will never do these things because such things aren't socially acceptable, and doing things that aren't socially acceptable isn't very nice.

analrapeage · 2014-03-15T04:20:44+00:00

I love how they hamster it away as "lack of communication"

johnnight · 2014-03-15T18:50:08+00:00

He was too nice. He put me on a pedestal and that's a lot of pressure. He was too sensitive and needy and I felt like I was always having to walk on eggshells around him so I wouldn't hurt him. I was in a horrible place in my life and I needed someone who could be strong for me but when I would tell him that I was hurting, he would be sad and that made me feel guilty.

don't pedestalize
don't be needy
be the strong stoic rock for her emotions

ConfidenceMatters · 2014-03-15T00:33:24+00:00

LOL CALCULATED VULNERABILITY GAME

HE OWNS THAT SHIT

BET HE BATHES IN PUSSY

Title	Ask Hamsters why their relationships with a "nice guy" failed.
Author	PraytoAres
Upvotes	46
Comments	55
Date	March 14, 2014 9:34 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/20fnxq/ask_hamsters_why_their_relationships_with_a_nice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/ask-hamsters-why-their-relationships-with-a-nice.12611 https://theredarchive.com/post/12611

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