I’m sitting at a table in a restaurant with my friends and we’re just chopping it up and enjoying each other’s company when this cute girl walks up. She grabs a seat and asks “Are you using this?” to us. Anytime I’m asked this question I always say “yea we’re using it” just to mess with people. I state the above line and she begins to walk away but then I jokingly say “I’m kidding”. She walks back for the chair and as she starts to take it I tell her “I’ll let you take the chair, if you give me your Instagram.” “Sure”. I give her my phone for her to do her thing and whilst she is doing that I say, amused, “Just screenshot it or something but don’t show it to me because I’m on a dopamine detox. I’m not gonna be using Instagram for another 7 days or so”. She tries to hold back a smile, “What?” “I just don’t use it that much so I thought why not” I say while smiling. She gets done putting her info into my phone and she hands it back. We hold eye contact for a beat or two and she smiles this soft smile. I smile back and nod as she begins to walk away (I meant to wink).

Now, I hate bragging. This is not a “look at how cool I am” story. I want a lesson to be learned from this story. Matter of fact I learned a lesson of my own from this encounter: Just show up. Just ask. Too often do I hear stories from friends about how they wanted to do this or that but they just didn’t think they could. Worse yet, they didn’t think they should. In the words of Zan Perrion, “Women are complicit in their own seduction”. They WANT you to ask. They DO think you should. Simply asking a woman for what you want is not rude or weird or needy. You are giving her a gift. This is is what I like to call “The Gift of Desire”. It is rare nowadays for a woman to feel wanted. To feel truly desired. You give this to her. After all, we love those who love us. You don’t have to neg her or be purposefully aloof and non needy. Just be a man who desires beauty, and notice that she is beauty. Women are just as human as anyone else on this earth. Women are not some algorithmic sequence to be cracked. They just want to enjoy life, because society rarely ever lets them, but YOU will let them. You ask nothing of them except that they just be. That they are fully themselves in your presence and that you will delight in them, because they deserve it.