Just Can't make myself cold approach

Murfdigidy · 2021-10-21T12:23:14+00:00

Stop thinking of it as cold approaching and start thinking of it as a chance to have a conversation with a stranger. You are putting too much pressure on yourself to number close or get her interested. Cold approaching is good in a sense that it helps you talk to total strangers in general. Practicing small talk is an art and the better you get at it the more people attract. Don't over think things, just start a conversation, that's it.

Cold approaching is super super hard, so stop playing it as a numbers game and think of it as a chance to get better at socializing, most of the time you won't close or girls will flake but that's not the intention of cold approaching (or atleast it shouldn't be).

Personaluse1110 · 2021-10-21T11:44:41+00:00

I used to do cold approaches but I promised myself that I won't do it after I approached the same 2group of girls from the night before, with the same stupid pickup line and totally made my self look like a creep. I'm from a small city.

Now I'm going to work on my body, face, nutrition, stress, college and stuff like that. Then I'll be probably getting IOI's from women. I'm almost 20.

bemore_ · 2021-10-21T19:08:45+00:00

This only changed for me when I realized women like sex. I mean I knew women liked sex but didn't know how much they liked it with me. For all your flaws, there are still things that make you valuable as a man, to your friends and family and the world all needs you to step up

Honestly, life is chaotic, messy, cringe, awkward and everything in between. Interactions are the same, however you can also create things like fun, freedom, excitement with your own initiative.

I think it just comes down to liking yourself. You see yourself as bothering people but if it really concerned you, you could sincerely say to a women that you hope you're not bothering her. Really it's just an excuse because you don't like yourself that much. So you filter yourself, you don't allow yourself space to be awkward, messy, chaotic so can't grow naturally

Challenge yourself to speak to 3-5 new women when you get the chance but change the way you think about yourself, what you do and women. Even if in your mind you're thinking I'm offering this woman orgasms lol, it will change your behavior

AelfredRex · 2021-10-21T12:46:23+00:00

So don't cold approach. It's basically begging anyway, with massive failure rates. Communicate with your eyes from a distance and see who's actually interested. Save yourself the hassle of laying lines down on women who just aren't into you. Once the conversation has already begun at distance and you approach, or she approaches you, which does happen, you're both going in with the groundwork already laid.

2021-10-21T19:13:26+00:00

Change your mindset. Be confident in yourself. Think of it as in you are sparking up a conversation with someone you’d like to know. Don’t think about the outcome or goal of getting laid or whatever you want. Just talk to them. Feel the vibe and escalate with flirting if it feels right.

MrThrowawayXD999 · 2021-10-22T03:12:06+00:00

Someone is going to find you creepy no matter what, not everyone but its inevitable until you get really good. You're just going to have to accept that.

Similar_Rough_6504 · 2021-10-22T05:00:45+00:00

Cold approaching is a numbers game really. Go into it expecting to never talk to them again. Be casual, comment on certain things, and maybe get their number if it feels appropriate. I personally like to give women my number so they have to initiate that contact.

dobbs1997 · 2021-10-21T17:05:05+00:00

you gotta shift the focus from what the other person feels and wants to what YOU want, you wanna approach that person so go do it, & be unapologetic about it because you’re just going after what you want, don’t make it complicated, you think it, then you do it, don’t think about what to say or if you should do it or not, realize and accept that you’re gonna make mistakes but deal with it as they happen, some people won’t wanna talk, some will, some will think it’s weird, some won’t, but you shouldn’t even give a fuck about that…don’t worry about if they don’t wanna talk, if that’s the case then you simply walk away. focus on the growth aspect too, you’ll grow a lot from approaching so go out there and start doing it, make it a habit to approach at least 1 person per day.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2021-10-21T11:23:54+00:00

Full conversation (number close) with a girl outside the gym

I show you this conversation I had the other day with a girl from the gym that i manage to write down on my phone while it was fresh on my mind (in spain, so i’ll translate) flirting in person at the door of the gym to get her number. Hope it’s inspiring for you.

• ⁠Hey, look, I have to tell you one thing, I've seen you and your style has struck me when you walk so elegant. And I was intrigued to meet you for that. I'm ernes, by the way. • ⁠oh wow, that’s unexpected … thanks though haha, ‘ Ainhoa! delighted I guess • ⁠You look like you are new to doing sports, is this your first time? • ⁠(Her, with a face like what’s??? (she obviously works out a lot just teasing her) • ⁠I'm kidding, I just wanted to see your reaction • ⁠such a bastard you are • ⁠Thank you, you are not so bad yourself neither • ⁠Yeah, you say that now to fix it • ⁠Maybe And apart from moving your ass up and down, what do you do? • ⁠Well, I'm a nursing student and you? • ⁠Web designer, • ⁠Oh so cool! • ⁠So you were one of those who on Halloween already dressed as a sexy nurse to practice? • ⁠In fact once I dressed up like that yes 😆 • ⁠You should put it on your job resume, it really adds value • ⁠haha That's what I think too! • ⁠So I see that your thing is to take care of others or what motivates you to be a nurse? A better world? • ⁠Well, I do like taking care of people, and I always liked playing nurse when I was little. • ⁠Well you're still very very small • ⁠But now I'm a woman • ⁠A woman? I hadn’t noticed • ⁠She hits me on the shoulder • ⁠I love the face you put when i tease you. • ⁠You are very good at this • ⁠Good at what? • ⁠Flirting • ⁠I can feel that you are liking it • ⁠I mean I admit that it is very original and very brave that you talk to me like that on the street like nothing. I would not dare. • ⁠How nice that you give me so many compliments and even admit that you like how I flirt with you • ⁠You do this with other girls or what? • ⁠I may have done it with some, but not all of them make me feel what I feel right now because of you. Like My heart doesn't stop. • ⁠what do you mean your heart doesn't stop. • ⁠It’s going like "bum bum bum" while I talk to you, I'm afraid that it will come out, look touch it (I grab her hand, I bring it to my chest) • ⁠(Touches) it is true haha, am I causing it? • ⁠Certainly my heart was calmer a while ago, I'm going to have to ask you for the phone number to see you again • ⁠Well, take it. • ⁠Let's see, tell me and I will make you a miss called • ⁠It is xxxxxxxxx • ⁠(I call and hang up) • ⁠When I write to you, it is to see you again, because I like how you make me feel like this when we are in person. • ⁠Yes, whenever you want • ⁠And if I get sick or whatever, I know where to call • ⁠haha, I would love to take care of you • ⁠How nice of you to tell me that, if you continue like this you will make me fall in love • ⁠Hahaha, don't go so fast • ⁠It's your fault! you tell me so many cool things about yourself that my heart goes crazy • ⁠How cute you are, call me okay? • ⁠If you insist, nah kidding of course i will (give her two kisses on the cheek) • ⁠Bye • ⁠Bye

My IG if you want personal advice:

Looksmax123 · 2021-10-21T19:26:23+00:00

Have you heard of the good looking loser approach anxiety program? It essentially doesn't make you start approaching but instead does it gradually, through different types of interactions with people (eg asking for time, directions etc.)

TheRiverOfDyx · 2021-10-21T22:35:56+00:00

You’re approaching a stranger who is a friend you haven’t met you, until either of you decides otherwise. You’re not cringe, you’re feeling cringe at the prospect of approaching. Cringe doesn’t exist

2021-10-21T19:52:16+00:00

Sounds like you’re the perfect candidate for dating apps

Anurag-Here · 2021-10-23T01:34:49+00:00

What you feel is absolutely natural.

Title	Just Can't make myself cold approach
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	22
Comments	26
Date	October 21, 2021 10:47 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qcp0q2/just_cant_make_myself_cold_approach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/just-cant-make-myself-cold-approach.1273872 https://theredarchive.com/post/1273872

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