If you treat someone as if they are on a pedestal, you’re attached to the idea of them, not the actual person. Why would they want to be in relationship with someone who acts nervous and unworthy around them?

Hollywood and other forms of western romanticism have programmed men with the false message that women are to be viewed as goddesses, not actual people.

The story of a weak, quirky man who wins the heart of a beautiful woman primarily through pure devotion and acts of servitude, presents a false representation of how attraction actually works. Logically, we all know these stories are fantasy, but somehow this idea is still adopted and accepted by a large number of men. This often leads to situations of unhealthy infatuation, years in the friend zone, or a pattern of unrequited attraction.

We want to be in relationships with those who make us feel comfortable, we can have fun with, laugh with, who evoke positive emotions.

Since men are visually driven, we will project our idealized fantasy of someone if we have a high level of physical attraction to them, instead of vetting them and getting to know them as an actual person before developing deeper feelings so quickly. Women may find someone they find physically attractive, but are typically more concerned how someone makes them feel before developing feelings. This is primary reason why some handsome guys will sometimes have trouble holding down a long term relationship.

It is crucial to take your time to get to know a woman and not fetishize her beauty before deciding that she is someone you want to be with. Beautiful Women may be aware that they are attractive, but don’t view themselves as un flawed goddesses that some men make them out to be. They can be clumsy, they have frustrations at work and with family. They do mundane things like go to the grocery store.They can be insecure. They are human, just like you.

If you find yourself acting nervous or feeling unworthy around someone, ask yourself if you’re projecting your needs and desires onto them or fetishizing their physical appearance, rather than seeing them as a complete person. Can they feel safe and comfortable around someone who is intimated by their mere presence? There is no way a healthy relationship, or any relationship at all, can happen with that dynamic. If you cannot be yourself and feel like you are in their equal, you must realign your thought process and focus on staying present, not projecting needy fantasies onto women you truly don’t know.