Fundamentals:

  • Your sole objective is to have fun and getting to know her. As Corey Wayne says: “Hang out, have fun, hook up.” You are not there to impress her or win her heart. Do not fantasize about a future together. Stay present in the moment and just enjoy it.

  • Show initiative and come up with specific plans for the date, then present her with options. A big attraction killer is saying that you’ll go along with whatever she wants, or asking her what she wants to do without a plan in mind. Instead, here’s an example: “Was thinking we could go to (place) at (time), or maybe (another place). Does that work for you?”

  • Pick activities or places that YOU enjoy, not just to impress her. You want to be relaxed and have fun as well.

  • The first several dates should not be a concert, movie, or large gathering or event where you don’t interact as much. The first several dates should be about getting to know the person and communicating.

  • No matter what anyone tells you, coffee/breakfast/daytime dates are not preferable for the first several dates. At minimum, the first three dates should be at nighttime. Daytime dates early on reinforce that you are a platonic buddy or friend. Nighttime dates make sex more likely, and you want her to view you in a sexual manner.

  • Likewise, no group dates early on. This should be reserved for later on after you’ve gotten to know each other.

  • Unless you have some sort of religious or personal reason for celibacy, sex should be an objective. Setting scenarios where sex is possibility is key. Date locations should be relatively close to her place or yours.

  • If you haven’t kissed or hooked up by the second or third date, you aren’t escalating enough and are acting like a friend.

Pre-date rituals for confidence:

  • Do some brief, yet strenuous physical activity. I would do 20-25 pushups before and after taking a shower.

  • Mirror exercise for eye expression. Sounds strange, but it is extremely useful: Stand in front of a mirror and close your eyes. For a minute or so, think of time where you felt particularly powerful, confident or desired. Visualize as you close your eyes in as much detail as possible. After a minute, open your eyes and focus carefully on how they look and feel. Do this a few times so you can remember how it feels.

  • Wear a watch if you have one, and a few sprays of cologne that makes you feel confident. My favorite is Aqua Di Gio Profumo.

  • Vocal warm up on drive over: This is from Models by Mark Manson. Hum in higher register from your head, then a lower register from your chest, like ambulance siren. Notice how it feels in the lower register, you want to speak in that tone.

The date:

  • Greet her with a light, casual hug.

  • Avoid heavy topics such as exes or other traumas. She will associate you with how your conversation makes her feel.

  • Ask her open-ended questions that can’t be answered with a yes or no response. Make sure these are questions you are genuinely interested in, otherwise it becomes a soulless interview.

  • Use compliments sparingly, and only if you mean it, not to score points

  • Smile (naturally).

  • Sit with a relaxed, open posture. Drape your arm on a nearby chair.

Edit: These are not absolute rules, just general guidelines to help. A lot depends on her attraction level. If her attraction level is high, the smaller details don’t matter as much, as long as you make her feel comfortable and don’t get needy or overeager.

Hope this helps. Have FUN