I don't like the girls I hook up with, and I don't know what to do.

ronty12 · 2016-06-03T07:33:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

johnny_77 · 2016-06-03T12:22:49+00:00

Love yourself then you can find love with another. Seduction is great for getting off but not for passionate meaningful ltr

recyclablebanthas · 2016-06-03T14:43:59+00:00

I've been attracting girls from a variety of backgrounds...... I have no emotional connection with them.

I can't find a girl that makes me happy in all three areas.

I have fell in "love" with one girl, that I still think about to this day, but we live miles apart now.

She had everything I was looking for: ....she's who I lost my virginity to. Now I struggle to find those types of girls in my life.

After reading all this, it almost sounds like you haven't fully processed the loss of your connection with this one girl.

You lost your virginity to her, still think of her, and seem to be saying that you're looking for someone who can measure up to her..... who can connect with you exactly as she did.

And you find pieces of that. But no one has it all.

If all this is true, you're not going to have a good time dating until you sort through this and on from that ex.

takingchree · 2016-06-03T10:21:58+00:00

I can definitely relate. I'm newly single, (hadn't been in 5 years) and have been going on a fair share of Tinder dates to keep my mind off things and try to put myself back out there. It's made me remember that no matter how hot the girl is physically, without an emotional connection hookups are just meh. Dates where the conversation included sharing personal information, secrets, and making yourself vulnerable makes people so much more attracted to you, and the sex is so much better. At least that's my theory. I think you just have high standards and that everyone is sapiosexual to a certain extent, my advice is to keep doing what you're doing and don't settle or get stuck in a mediocre relationship so young

ingenjor · 2016-06-03T13:29:41+00:00

Dude, I'm in the same boat. Been on the hunt for a girl that satisfies my three criteria for a while now without luck: smashing body, mentally stimulating and sex hungry. I've only managed getting girls with 1-2 of those traits so far.

newtothelyte · 2016-06-03T10:13:08+00:00

The only thing I could say is that you're 20. Not many girls at that age are deep on an emotional level. Peoole are still finding themselves and growing up. Finding a girl you truly connect with is no easy feat, if it were easy we'd all have awesome marriages and LTRs.

Just keep at it and eventually fortune will be in your side

Spacemage · 2016-06-03T12:25:41+00:00

It's cliché and all that, but my first bit of advice is worry about and like yourself first.

The women will come, especially if you have the skills to pull em.

ThrowawayPUA · 2016-06-03T14:48:03+00:00

Raise your standards. One of the main goals of pickup is to increase our access to higher quality women. You have a better chance of that, just by meeting more women, but you still have to focus on the qualities you desire in a woman. And part of how we discover what we need from a woman, is by exploring relationships with women. We find out what we are like in a relationship, and how relationships work.

Generally, this is an issue of qualification. If you set a high standard, and challenge a woman to meet it, some of them will try to rise to the challenge.

2016-06-03T15:03:00+00:00

For the past 10 years, I could NEVER find a girl that I would connect with mentally. We have conversations with no problems, I'm well-read in many areas, but nobody connects truly where I would like to spend more than a night with and maybe breakfast together. I'm a contrarian and existentialist, super honest, and not many girls understand or appreciate THAT level of honesty. I don't play any games at all.

That being said, the same is for the guys as well; I have tons of acquaintances who I hang out with, but nobody hits it home. I have a best friend with whom we talk on the same frequency, we read each others minds. I guess these people don't come along too often. I don't complain at all. I love my inner world.

So maybe the case is similar to yours? There's always ways to work around it. You can start agreeing with people more, exploring THEIR worlds, getting more interested, and all that BS. Or just keep waiting, and hang out in the right circles. Whatever your interests and passions are, try to explore and find women close to that area...

2016-06-03T20:49:21+00:00

This is an issue of demographics. You need to sit and think, "where do the girls I find attractive go to have fun." Here is the list from mark Manson's models

Dance class

Political organization

Concerts

Amateur sports leagues

Volunteering

Training courses(leadership public speaking)

Cooking classes

Yoga

Meditation

Self help seminars

Travel groups

Church or similar religious venue

Educational classes

Dog parks

Wine and beer tastings

Art galleries

Business networking events

Maybe the party scene isn't your place and you're looking for a different type of girl.

ronty12 · 2016-06-03T21:50:00+00:00

To me it sounds like you know how to sleep with women, but you're at a point where you want to find a girlfriend that's worth falling in love with - you aren't very fulfilled in what you're doing.

First, you need to come up with what you want out of women, and once you have some standards thought out, for instance, mine are:

Beauty, this is a prerequisite of the rest
Intelligent/Savvy (e.g. she needs to have a career in mind or one she's already in, bachelor's or master's degrees are nice, she needs to know how to get what she wants in the world too)
Adventurous (e.g. she needs to like spontaneity in the right places where we have free time)
Ambitious & Driven
Not a loose or dysfunctional background - slept with under 5 guys, parents together, healthy relationship with family.
Independent & Confident
Fun Loving & Positive

Do those sound too high? Good. Don't fucking settle - this is a girl who you might spend 10+ years of your life on, why settle? Relentlessly search for a girl that is close to these or meets these - there might be <10 women like this in an average sized city (50000 pop.), but in a big city it's surprising how many girls there are that are STUPID high value - in cities like Chicago or LA you might see 3 girls like this in a day if you look in the right places.

Sakred · 2016-06-03T23:01:23+00:00

Sex feels good and it's good for you. It's a powerful experience, and there's no shame in seeking it out for its own sake. It is also a skill that you should be proficient at, do it for your future biddy. =) You have to decide if you're okay with it though. If not, then say for X months you won't hook up with anyone unless they meet whatever criteria you set. You can reevaluate at the end of this time period.

__vi · 2016-06-04T13:52:52+00:00

uhm I read the comments here.. and well. I am a girl. And basically have the same. Cant say whether this "need" comes from external influences. What I can say however is that you shouldnt look for someone you have known but can also start looking at people as new. additional. not replacing some place in your heart.. but making a new place in your heart. Like.. get to know people. Create moments with them. Learn what makes them tick but also what makes you tick/enjoy with them. Learn what gets their emotions to boil, but also what gets your emotions to boil. But first foremost perhaps find someone you could actually respect and like and dont be afraid to make contact. One of the frames I use is: if this person is someone I feel attracted to: can I befriend him? And thats my usual way to get to know people and being able to be intimate without being anxious, without being wowwed too much or too little by them. Also this makes me capable of staying in touch with them and not resent them. The moment you feel like you cant respect the other person.. is the moment I get away.

happy-dating · 2016-06-05T12:33:36+00:00

When I see guys walking with a fat average looking girls I feel sorry for them. To me they simply don’t know how to deal with a sexy girl. If you are 50 it’s another story, you start to value more spiritual things. But if you are 20 this is the right time to jump into the game and try your luck with hot stunning babes. I also didn’t have the idea how to do that, but this guy http://wingmancon.com/videos.html opened a completely new world for me. I’ve learnt a lot from him. He is doing free Skype sessions by the way. Just go and grab what your game is missing and practice as often as possible because this is the only way to move one level up in life.

2016-06-03T12:41:14+00:00

w...what the fuck. Gustav Martin i think denna text är jag från en annan dimension

Title	I don't like the girls I hook up with, and I don't know what to do.
Author	ronty12
Upvotes	67
Comments	33
Date	June 3, 2016 6:20 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4mbksw/i_dont_like_the_girls_i_hook_up_with_and_i_dont/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-dont-like-the-girls-i-hook-up-with-and-i-dont.1292400 https://theredarchive.com/post/1292400

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