What's the seddit consensus on mirroring?

phenomite1 · 2014-05-28T13:51:34+00:00

They dont get attracted to you because of it. They do it because they already are attracted to you.

snwborder52 · 2014-05-28T14:03:42+00:00

Use it as an IOI.

Mimicking is a natural part of our subconscious actions. If she's mimicking you (mirroring or touching her face after you touch yours or walking in step, etc) that means she feels connected to you somewhat subconsciously.

Purposefully trying to mirror is trying to hard.

bl1y · 2014-05-28T14:59:56+00:00

I think the concept of mirroring is trying to get too specific, ie: mirroring specific gestures.

On the other hand, you can mirror in terms of mood, energy level, commitment to the interaction. If she's being energetic is the conversation, you put forth the same energy. If she's trying to bail, you bail.

plasticsleeper · 2014-05-28T14:53:42+00:00

use it to gauge interest but don't get hooked on it as an indicator because some people will be interested but show it in other ways, or not that much at all.

twelvedayslate · 2014-05-28T12:34:34+00:00

I don't notice mirroring so I don't see it have any effect. If anything, it'll bug me if it occurs too much.

2014-05-28T14:01:57+00:00

I think, on some level, we all do a bit of mirroring. Isn't that just social calibration.... kinda? IDK, I'm probably confused with something.

Phenxz · 2014-05-28T18:11:53+00:00

During my time studying psychology, before I achieved my degree, I wrote my bachelor degree about attraction between the sexes. During the research period of this project, I learned that neutral attraction, which most of us would coin "liking", is influenced by a lot of factors. One of these factors is that we like people who are like ourselves.

According to theory, the technique of mirroring a person's behavior produces this result behaviorally, and will thus increase neutral liking. Not attraction, but liking, which can facilitate attraction, but in no means predicts it.

My personal prediction is that mirroring can be used to get "in sync" with the person you're communicating with, and once in sync, you can start leading the interaction, displaying dominance, and she will be more likely to follow you to stay "in sync", and this might generate subconscious attraction. That however has no basis in psychological models that I know of, but is my working hypothesis.

lamp37 · 2014-05-29T06:49:29+00:00

Personally, I think mirroring can fall into one of those "jedi mind tricks" that cause people to shoot themselves in the foot.

If you're thinking too much about mirroring, you're probably going to make yourself unnatural and uncomfortable. I personally think you'd be a lot better off just focusing on being a confident and interesting person who is enjoyable to be around than trying to play subconscious tricks to get her to like you.

seever · 2014-05-28T14:52:04+00:00

people don't get more attracted to you by mirroring. we use mirroring to create a connection. you know when you meet someone and you feel like you click with them right away

willtopower2014 · 2014-05-28T14:34:28+00:00

So long as you don't come off like some mime parrot, mirroring is a proven NLP sort of thing.

As snwborder says, it's mostly (and should be) mostly a subconscious thing.

recyclablebantha · 2014-05-28T16:07:05+00:00

what do you think about mirroring? Most people -like me- think it's stupid. Many had the expereince that it doesn't work.....

Kind of an exaggeration. As if you've done a statistically significant study and you're quoting your results.

When really what you probably have is your own experience, plus a handful of friends at most.

but maybe they did it wrong.

This is probably it.

How do you do it? Does it work? I just can't imagine that someone gets attracted to me from repeating what they say and repeating their movements.

Your perception of this sounds like a caricature of what it should be, as if you are trying to be a Carnival Sideshow mirror, exactly mirroring everything like a parrot.

As bl1y implied, it's more general than that.

I can't recall repeating what people say too much, except to confirm that I understood what they say. And when I do that, I'm usually not repeating verbatim anyway, I'm paraphrasing.
But as far as actions go, I'm often mirroring posture and general things like that. I'm not going out of my way to copy specific gestures. That would be kind of annoying and possibly creepy.

Title	What's the seddit consensus on mirroring?
Author	tjutachi
Upvotes	7
Comments	18
Date	May 28, 2014 12:23 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/26ou8e/whats_the_seddit_consensus_on_mirroring/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/whats-the-seddit-consensus-on-mirroring.1295339 https://theredarchive.com/post/1295339

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