After working on having better relationships with women for almost half a decade it’s easy for some guys to tell me that there is nothing left to learn. But because I have a mindset of working towards mastery and recognising that there is no upper limit to the success I can have, I’m always eager to learn from new perspectives. I’ve read, watched, and tried almost everything there is to know about attraction… or so I thought.

I recently picked up a copy of Sincere Seduction and thought some of the main game-changers for me might be worth sharing. If these are the kinds of things that I’m not doing five years in, internalising these game-changers NOW can really help you accelerate your results to get the girl/girls you want.

1. Approach The Most Beautiful Girl First

Going out for years, night after night, the focus has always been about having fun first, and meeting girls second. If I was having fun, girls just seemed to be pulled into my world. After a while, attracting girls became easy.

The problem though, was that I was becoming complacent. When I first started this journey I was constantly pushing myself and putting myself in situations that challenged me. I was constantly leaning into my edge. As soon as my results were above average, I thought I was finished. Then I noticed I wasn’t pushing myself to talk to the girls that I was most attracted to anymore. Something changed.

By talking to the most beautiful girl first, you set the bar for the night. No matter what the outcome with her is, you know that the thing you’ve feared most is nothing worth losing sleep over. Knowing this has freed me up to relax and enjoy my night knowing that I’ve done what I can to get the girl I want instead of settling for second-best.

2. The Principle of Commitment and Consistency

Regardless of the level of attraction girls had for me on a night out, the most frustrating thing that happened over and over was that I was getting flakes. Knowing the principle of commitment and consistency turned this around for me as soon as I tried it out.

The principle works like this. If a person explicitly says they are going to do something, they are far more likely to actually follow through. Knowing this, by getting a girl to agree to text you back by saying something challenging like “you’re not the kind of girl who gives out her number and doesn’t text back are you?” and getting her to agree, she is far more likely to text you back when you do follow up.

3. Suggest An Activity and Sell The Date

Dating different girls every week gave me this feeling of abundance. I felt like I didn’t have to do anything. I felt like I could just do the bare minimum to have the date go well. This meant that my default went from actually making an effort to set up a date that was different to just seeing if they were interested in going for drinks. Lazy, lazy.

The problem was that hot girls get asked out by cool guys all the time. No matter how much fun you were, your “game” is not enough to differentiate you from the hundreds of cool guys in her social circle or guys she meets any given night out. Game doesn’t end the night you meet her.

Understanding this meant that I started making an effort to do something different; something to stand out. My dates went from “let’s grab drinks” to going to a moroccan shisha bar and a walk around the harbour, creating that romantic bubble that extends further than attraction. It got her to immediately feel a deeper connection to me having shared an experience that is outside the norm of her everyday experience.

4. Fun Phraseology

There are whole industries dedicated to understanding the power that language has to influence human behaviour to be able to market and sell ideas more effectively.

Ever noticed the power Russell Brand has to captivate a girl’s attention? Russell Brand uses his language with purpose. He uses it as an instrument to captivate attention. Instead of saying “sex”, he’ll say “a bit of skull-duggery” or “how’s your father?”. Instead of saying “what are you up to?”, ask “Have you been breaking hearts today?”. Use “stroll” instead of “walk”, or say “scoff” instead of “eat”. Recognise the power words have to influence people. Use it as an instrument to capture her imagination and attention.

5. Keep A Backburner List

On any given night, if I decide to get a lot of numbers it’s almost inevitable that one of them will flake. While I don’t recommend creating a high quantity of interactions over quality ones once you can comfortably attract a lot of girls, I still do this from time to time.

Whereas before if they didn’t text back, I was meeting enough new girls that it didn’t matter. But, sometimes there were girls I really was interested in seeing again yet because I was in the habit of moving on quickly I just left it after the first text.

The back burner list involves keeping track of your numbers so that you can follow up again a week, two weeks, or a month down the line. While not all of them are going to text back you’re still maximising your chances with those who do. Who knows what their initial reason for not texting back was. Maybe they were busy. Maybe they forgot. Maybe they had no credit on their phones. Whatever their reason, sometimes time is the factor that changes everything.

If a girl doesn’t text back, keep her number. Give it some time to breath and follow up again down the line. Make it a mission to convert a flaked number to a date and you’ll prove to yourself just how useful this can be when you make the decision to try it out.