Girls are not my priority, I feel like this harms my game more than anything else.

2014-11-24T16:33:54+00:00

You only have so much time and energy in your life. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you if you want to spend that time and energy on 10 other things that aren't remotely related to picking up girls. This is your life, live it however you want to. Also, you're more likely to end up with a girl who shares a ton in common with you if you keep on doing the things you really like, she might be out doing the same things, and bam, you found a great match. Doing things you don't like to do (eg going to bars/clubs) might get you laid, but (I feel) greatly reduces your chances at finding someone with common interests.

shitsfuckedupalot · 2014-11-24T18:03:35+00:00

do you think guys are the priority of the sort of girl you'd wanna be with?

dj_bizarro · 2014-11-24T19:13:33+00:00

Dudes who make women their priority:

fathers of girls
friend zoned losers who get no pussy.

PedophilePriest · 2014-11-24T18:21:26+00:00

Theres nothing wrong with your approach. Do what you want to do, if you happen to meet girls while your doing your thing, and they want to join in your activities fine. You shouldn't sacrifice your passions to spend more time with women.

remarkedvial · 2014-11-24T19:48:36+00:00

I think the biggest thing for me is that I'm kind of a cheap asshole, I don't ask my parents for money (sense of pride) so I prefer to spend my money on my hobbies/travel and I'm definitely self centered when it comes with how I want to enjoy my free time.

Ditto. I can completely relate to this. I have very little motivation to go through the effort and expense of getting a girl when I'm not really that sure she'd be more fun than what I'm doing currently (and I don't mean reddit I mean generally).

2014-11-24T18:35:22+00:00

Women are also not my priority. I have a career im developing throughout the week and a daughter that absorbs my free time on the weekends. I dont think theres anything wrong with that. I have a couple FWBs who are similarly positioned so it works, but I don't actively chase any women. If you dont have the time or energy to dedicate to the pursuit so be it, because there's nothing worse than a half assed pursuit.

madeittotheusa · 2014-11-24T17:18:39+00:00

After reading this, you don't sound conflicted in what you want to do with your life. You sound conflicted as to whether or not what you want to do with your life (meaning, keeping girls & dating & sex near the 'middle' and not the 'top' of your priorities) would gain the approval of this community.

I feel like I shouldn't force intimate female interactions of my list without it being from my own legitimate desire, but I kind of think my situation is possibly something that might be a bit more rare amongst us all as a community.

You don't have to live by the general dogma of what a pick up artist is. You can still learn from this community and ultimately do you, even if the rules & guidelines of r/seduction don't agree. The choice is ultimately yours.

Read this member's post:

http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2ku8qe/fr_youre_different/

It's got perspective from someone involved in the lessons of seduction but creating his own rules based on his own desires.

buddboy · 2014-11-24T19:06:41+00:00

Hi, yes sometimes I got through phases like this. I think for me I just have a great many platonic girl friends and some nights they end up getting a lot of my attention and I dance and hang with them.

I love girls but some nights, idk I just am not on the prowl and having more fun with my friends.

My advice is to honestly break his habit and get in the habit of having of always looking for new girls. It sounds like you don't have that much direction in your life sometimes, that's okay, forcing yourself in a direction will feel odd at first but eventually it will become your new habit. Then when you see a girl you know you like you will be better prepared to talk to her. Soon you will be hitting on girls without even thinking about it.

You said girls are your fifth priority. I would bump them up to your second, and making general social interactions your first. Meeting new people always feels good. A good interaction with a stranger has a way of putting some energy in your system.

Not2original · 2014-11-24T20:31:26+00:00

I'm still very much in the beginner stages of seduction. I know my current limits and what I'm willing to follow through with, and what I'm not.

I can hold frame, I can kino and escalate. I currently stop there as I'm not ready for the next step.

You know yourself better then a bunch of internet strangers, so do what you feel comfortable with. But, keep on doing something because pick-up is not like riding a bike. It's more like a language and if you don't practice it you will forget how to speak it.

kol15 · 2014-11-25T01:10:08+00:00

girls not being a priority is more of a boon to game than anything else; but only if you're sincere about it

C4ples · 2014-11-25T01:38:17+00:00

Don't sweat it. I used and still use this sub more as an r/innergame than anything else. It's helped me to become much more comfortable both with myself and others, which was my sole priority. I, like you, am more focused on just "doing me".

I'll occasionally get out and hunt, but more for affirmation that I am able to than anything.

There is no shame in that.

metshower · 2014-11-25T02:11:33+00:00

I've gone through phases like that, where I end up focusing on some hobby or my job performance.

But invariably when I return to approaching, I realize that all those "wasted months" were caused by an underlying fear and weariness of trying to meet girls. I realize that I had just managed to go into denial the whole time, and that when I open my eyes, Of Course I want to fuck pretty girls more than anything else in the world! I can't imagine a better feeling than being naked with a girl (I'm not counting eating and breathing). Somehow I had managed to trick myself into the comfortable limiting belief that meeting girls was too hard and it wasn't worth the effort and not my priority. My brain automatically switched to other easier pursuits like hobbies.

There is a fundamental paradox in self-esteem/self-improvement that you need to accept. It is this: While it's true that you need to be completely happy and satisfied with your life and who you are every day, you still need to constantly strive to improve yourself. When translated to the "getting girls" project, this means "be happy being single and alone, but go approach that girl anyway"

PhilosophizingCowboy · 2014-11-25T03:50:01+00:00

Women and this sub are a waist of Time. The sooner you realize that the better your life will be.

The right one will come along. She'll be the girl that doesn't fall for boys practicing "seduction. "

POTATO_SOMEPLACE · 2014-11-24T21:53:14+00:00

I think you're basically doing everything right. There's nothing more attractive to girls than a man who is on his purpose, who has strong personal boundaries concerning what he spends his time on and who, generally, has a life. That's the inner game part.

Of course there's also outer game, which might end up lacking if you don't get enough experiences... and then that could lead to screwing up when you eventually do meet a girl you really like. Besides, going out and doing the whole pickup thing can really expand your horizon, and of course it improves your social skills and generally kinda makes you happier and more outgoing. So, even if you're not particularly interested in any specific girls, it's still definitely worth it to dedicate some time to it.

Here's a great RSDTyler video that's pretty relevant to this topic.

Title	Girls are not my priority, I feel like this harms my game more than anything else.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	74
Comments	47
Date	November 24, 2014 4:01 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2n9syt/girls_are_not_my_priority_i_feel_like_this_harms/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/girls-are-not-my-priority-i-feel-like-this-harms.1307303 https://theredarchive.com/post/1307303

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