Is this seduction thing only for guys who want sex, or also for guys who want to get married?

civilengineer · 2010-11-11T11:36:02+00:00

Are you sure a wife is what you want?

I'm pretty much in your situation - I make good money and I'm alone. I've never been successful in my youth with the other sex, probably for the same reason you say (my sex drive is very low too). I practiced game and now I can get laid consistently. In the process, I also learnt a lot of things about women, and that changed my perspective on them.

What I suggest you is to go out and practice... game is not a collection of tricks or so, it's just about trying and trying to the point that your interactions with the other sex become chilled and natural. After you've managed to attract some women (if you want to get laid or not, that's up to you) reflect on what is exactly that made them attracted to you and, in general, what's their way of thinking. At that point, ask yourself the question do I want to get married? If the answer is still yes, you will find no trouble in getting a wife.

Solitude is a big problem in my life... but I don't think a woman is the solution. But that's my conclusion. The only thing I'm saying here is that if you have to make a choice, let it be an informed choice. If you're not able to consistently attract the other sex your choice is not an informed one.

impotent_rage · 2010-11-11T12:55:39+00:00

Skip negs, they're almost always done improperly, and you don't need them.

Seduction is for guys who want to flip the attraction switch in a woman's head. Where he takes it from there is his choice.

Mouthpiece · 2010-11-11T14:07:26+00:00

The short answer is yes. By learning how to attract women generally, you'll better be able to attract your ideal mate without making any of the mistakes that typically drive such women away.

That said, you seem to have a particular type of woman in mind, perhaps some for whom you won't have a lot of competition. The "game" is a bit different when you get to the upper range of desirable women, and so too with the simply average (by most men's standards, even if yours differ).

The whole idea of negs, for example, is poorly understood and now really obsolete. It was meant as a way to differentiate yourself to a highly-sought female that you were different than her other suitors… that you weren't even really interested. That is not necessary with most women unless they perceive themselves as "out of your league." Sounds to me like you won't be toiling in that particular field. So forget the whole idea of negs.

Instead, work on your own "inner game" …be the kinds of successful, confident, stable yet fun guy who women choose as life partners. Then go out there and meet as many women as possible.

2010-11-11T10:00:00+00:00

Yes, you can use it to help you find your future wife.

cbraga · 2010-11-11T12:30:55+00:00

The general idea is that dating is a numbers game. IOW you have to weed out a lot of chaff to find the wheat you want.

There are lots of girls wanting a husband too. Do you want to settle for an unattractive girl that's a bit psycho and will make your life hell or do you want a pretty, well-balanced one that holds a job and will help you build your lives together?

The second type is not necessarily that hard to find but competition for them is brutal just like banging that drop dead gorgeous that went to the club almost dressed in a ridiculous mini-skirt.

It's the same skill set for finding a wife and banging skanks. You have to start the interaction somewhere and often it'll be with negs and suchlike otherwise you might not even have a chance to let her find out what a great guy you are specially if you're lacking in the Porsche department (sad but true reality).

2010-11-11T14:40:39+00:00

Seduction is seduction... where you take it afterwards is your own choice. It simply allows you to get women interested in you, helps you be the person women are attracted to. What happens afterwards - whether it's having sex and leaving or giving the whole relationship thing a go - is completely up to you.

sockthepuppetry · 2010-11-11T17:12:06+00:00

Seduction will get you attraction and sex. Sex will often lead to a relationship and relationships lead to marriage. This is like asking if learning how to ride a bike can help make you a professional BMX racer.

Or in nerd terms: seduction/attraction is necessary but not sufficient to getting married.

Lanko · 2010-11-11T20:12:10+00:00

You don't need to have a raging hard on in order to communicate desire or lust. It's a form of play. (which is why we call it a game). Relationships are about communication and an important part of that is making your partner feel desired. It's not enough to just say it, a true connection comes when you can make her feel it.

When we're playing the game we're doing two things. We're communicating that emotion in a way that makes our partners feel that connection and we're giving our partners a chance to try to communicate it back to us. (when we pull away and make her work for it).

Let's face it, if your having a deep philosophical conversation with a girl about the big bang theory, it's going to give you a bit of a thrill if she stops and looks at you like your a piece of meat and exclaims that she loves it when you talk dirty to her like that.

You need to learn how to do that for girls effectively, so when you meet one that shares your interests of the mind, you can give her that extra thrill.

Badmojoe · 2010-11-11T13:23:40+00:00

I always thought it was for help with people needing help getting that SO.

grumpy_technologist · 2010-11-11T15:20:10+00:00

That's a self-regulating process. Given a little of the right female attention, you might find your confidence in that area increases, which in turn will increase your sex drive.

That's not to say you don't have confidence, just that there is a feedback loop there. Confidence in choosing women for what you like will help you decide if you like a woman enough to marry.

RalphLeMeow · 2010-11-11T16:25:12+00:00

yes, no matter what type of marriage you are looking for, first you will have to meet her and establish a romance
get in touch with your body, your mind will benefit greatly
the female mind and approach to life differs from the male mind/approach and that is exactly why it is intense, difficult, beneficial and essential for both. apply your philosophical mind to that, you will find it very rewarding and interesting.

a good philosophical thought interests me

ok, first read Kierkegaard's diary of a seducer

http://bearspace.baylor.edu/Scott_Moore/www/Seducer.html

here's another favorite:

http://www.amazon.com/Seduction-Culturetexts-Jean-Baudrillard/dp/0312052944/ref=pd_cp_b_3

Seduction, in French thinker Baudrillard's apocalyptic discourse, is a power of attraction and fascination capable of subverting mechanical, orgasm-centered sexuality and reality in general. Two chief obstacles to unleashing the potentially liberating forces of seduction are the women's movement and psychoanalysis, charges the author of America and Forget Foucault. While recognizing that seduction has a negative side--turning the seduced person away from his/her true thoughts and impulses--Baudrillard is intrigued by the seductive processes at work in the vertigo induced by games, in magic and the lottery, in the transvestite's "total gestural, sensual and ritual" behavior. He decodes pornography as "an orgy of realism," a hyperreality of signs. In his analysis, seduction has itself been corrupted in a world of manufactured desires and ready-made satisfactions. With seductive irony, Baudrillard storms the fragile phallic fortress of patriarchy in this heady, sometimes obscure meditation.

2010-11-11T16:59:38+00:00

It will provide you with options if done correctly. It is up to you to decide whether you want to bang them or not.

Lanko · 2010-11-11T17:06:41+00:00

If you're asking, "seddit, can't i just get a wife by providing for her and giving her whatever she needs," the answer is no. you need to build legitimate attraction, or else you're going to have a lot of kids running around that don't quite look like daddy.

giving a woman what she wants is not the way to build a lasting relationship.

neur0 · 2010-11-11T21:56:24+00:00

Yeah, seduction alone is bull shit. A lot of mPUAs have voiced that to have a narrow minded approach to things is sometimes unfulfilling in life. They say there's better things out there than this.

However, disregarding who said what or what things are meant for, you suffer from a case of knowing not what you want. Rather, you don't have the conviction. Cuz you said you know what you want, which is a long term stable relationship, but is swayed by what you think others expect ya to want.

Just stick with it you'll do fine.

That being said, pick up/seduction/etc is what you do with it, not what you are expected to do with it. If you're any familiar with math or just basic problem solving, you can see that things in life are cross applicable to everything else. Human interaction, networking, and seduction, in my opinion, are one in the same. I can "pick up" on a future prospect employer as i can "network" a girl. They just have different names for the same, damn, thing.

So, honestly, evaluate what you want, learn the stuff, and apply it with common sense. By common sense, I'm not calling you stupid, I'm saying, you think its more likely to find a wife with club rats or someone who is at a bookstore or special interest club? Remember, more likely is the key word as you can find probably find someone longing for something more at a bar and you can find some sex crazed one time deal at your local book club.

One in the same, common sense, and common sense.

PBRBeer · 2010-11-12T00:39:44+00:00

If you have a low sexual drive you may want to see your doctor and have your testosterone levels checked, seriously, I'm not making a joke here. It's a problem that affects thousands and thousands of men, the symptoms include low sex drive, low physical energy, etc etc. Testosterone replacement can be very healthy for the right persons.

come2gether · 2010-11-12T05:05:45+00:00

thats a really interesting description of yourself. i like that your comfortable with who you are, i am the same way, but i always thought it was something wrong with that. i think its good to be comfortable and happy with who you are.

in todays culture all we hear about are people who would fall into the body category. but i never hear about people like me, who like thinking as opposed to body.

Odin_13 · 2010-11-13T11:03:54+00:00

Got money? Encountering self-entitled bloated western shoggoths?

http://www.russianbrides.com/?afid=15502

gentlemanofleisure · 2010-11-11T10:17:54+00:00

it is what you make it. it's up to you what ladies you approach and what relationship you want to build with them. seduction is the process of getting together with a woman you want to have a sexual relationship with. and then it is the everyday maintenance of your relationship.

takatori · 2010-11-11T12:20:47+00:00

Sex, and guys who are already married and need action fast.

Pires007 · 2010-11-11T13:51:46+00:00

view the david deangelo: deeper game services i viewed it originally for pick-up purposes, but it helped round my personality a lot more,

negs, and other stuff are all tricks, but the purpose is to have a solid core, and then the tricks will come naturally, (i.e. confidence, humor, etc.)

also, the fact that you are looking for just a wife makes you not picky enough. this is the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Don't take the first girl you see, check out your options.

leevs11 · 2010-11-11T17:54:07+00:00

Replace the term "negs" with "playful teasing" and you have the thing that good marriages are built on.

Game is 1000 times more important if you want a marriage that works.

aquestion111 · 2010-11-11T15:45:00+00:00

Someone please link that fantastic article about how the idea of a "wife" no longer exists, because we no longer raise women from childhood to be good wives.

Title	Is this seduction thing only for guys who want sex, or also for guys who want to get married?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	12
Comments	29
Date	November 11, 2010 9:52 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/e4ik1/is_this_seduction_thing_only_for_guys_who_want/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-this-seduction-thing-only-for-guys-who-want-sex.1312892 https://theredarchive.com/post/1312892

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