A Challenge to Seddit: Advice for Married, Faithful Men

intjpua · 2010-11-23T00:29:24+00:00

Game definitely applies in long-term relationships, and it's even very similar, though the execution comes out differently when you see the woman every day.

Here's where I'd start:

Do you have a man's night out with your buddies? Poker, drinks, bowling, sports, music, whatever. If not, start now. Man time is important to keeping your relationship with women (or a woman) in balance. Use this time to flirt with other women, playfully. Don't get frisky, just charge yourself up a little to remind yourself that you're a man with options and a sexuality that women recognize. This time out with your friends also increases your scarcity, and thus your value.
Do you make the decisions at least half of the time? If not, start now. Don't argue about it. Never fight. And never do the "What do you want to do?" "Well, what do you want to do?" shuffle. Just decide things, and do them. "Hey, baby, let's go for Chinese tonight. Be ready at 6:30. Wear your blue dress." If she has a good reason to not do that thing at that time, that's OK. But, if she's like 99% of women, she'll be turned on by you taking charge every once in a while. If she never complies with your decisions, and continues to want to make all the decisions, you'll need to play a bit rougher, and start doing the things you decide without her (again, never fight, never whine about her not doing the things you want to do; you've made a decision, and you're having Chinese food that night, by gods, and she can fend for herself if she wants to).
Do you have space for yourself in your house? Garage, home office, workshop out back, whatever...it's good to have a man cave where girls are not allowed (you don't need a sign...just make it a place where women wouldn't want to be). If you live really small like I do, this isn't feasible, but there are alternatives...like going camping or hiking or whatever. You could also join some sort of group. Things like the Masons and Oddfellows and Moose, etc. were all founded to give men a reason to spend some time away from their wives. Again, scarcity increases your value.
Keep her on her toes. Surprise is powerful. So, surprise her with cool activities every once in a while. It should be something you would both enjoy; it should never be "all about her", unless it's her birthday and she offers the same treatment to you on your birthday. Take the drivers seat most of the time in these situations; tell her how to dress ("Wear comfortable shoes, we'll be walking a lot today." or "Wear layers, it'll get cold on the water front later." etc.), take care of getting there and back and plan ahead or make decisions on where to eat and what to do.

But, mostly, as with seduction for finding new girls, almost everything is about you not about your girl. It's about being comfortable with who you are, expecting respect, never whining or fighting about getting your way, and being willing to do your own thing if she isn't compliant with your desires (within reason; don't go fuck another woman if you're horny and she's not, for example).

CRLewis · 2010-11-23T01:13:38+00:00

Read this and all the archives.

http://www.marriedmansexlife.com/

He has articles on "how to game your wife" and restore the proper balance of power in your married relationship.

2010-11-23T09:34:01+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2010-11-23T00:32:25+00:00

Write us an FR. I'd be very interested to see how this works in a relationship

side2 · 2010-11-23T02:00:02+00:00

An amazing and awesome request for help using this sedduction method for someone already in a relationship. I wish you well good sir. You will be extreemly happy with the results if you pull this off. I hope the seddit crew helps you out. Please oh please do updates on this.

RedErin · 2010-11-23T15:13:20+00:00

Look at all the fantastic advice in this thread. Glad you posted this Participatory Lurker.

I'm was in the same boat as you for a while. I've been married 10 years. I found seddit around 7 months ago, I swear my wife and I have never been happier.

Do you two ever go out and party? Get smashed together? Do you have kids? (I have one.)

Have you read the Dirty Talk 101 thread from Sexxit?

seddition · 2010-11-23T18:26:09+00:00

Here is some advice from experience. I was in a long term relationship where I gradually gave up the power. Once I realized what had happened, I tried to change that. She fought back, and fought back hard. One you've given up the power, when you try to take it back, expect strong resistance. It's not undoable, but be ready for a lot of fighting because she's not going to give you the power back easily. Most importantly, the only way you will regain the upper hand is to stop being needy and be ready to walk if she won't relinquish control. Remember, she ultimately wants to be controlled, but she has lost respect for you and isn't going to submit to you without a battle at this point.

2010-11-23T06:36:24+00:00

I'm always horrified she'll go.

This is the part you need to work on. If she wants to leave, let her. You need to maintain the disposition that you'll be fine without her. If she's not equally catering to your needs as you are to hers, there's a problem in your relationship.

You are a human being. Furthermore, you are a fucking man. If there's something in the relationship you want and are not getting, you have the right to bring it up and demand that your own needs are satisfied.

If not, you are being abused in your relationship. If you're not happy in your relationship, you need to at least hint that you're not happy and that maybe there's a better relationship for you out there. If she doesn't oblige, then maybe you need to start worrying about actually finding a better new relationship.

ajcook921 · 2010-11-23T00:46:38+00:00

[permanently deleted]

flaxeater · 2010-11-23T03:03:07+00:00

So let me get this straight, because you don't treat her like a simpleton child, that her needs are not being met?

I just want to be sure that I understand what you're saying.

etherspirit · 2010-11-23T06:11:03+00:00

Start by refusing her requests in a super ridiculously sarcastic way instead of saying 'okay'.

Title	A Challenge to Seddit: Advice for Married, Faithful Men
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	45
Comments	40
Date	November 23, 2010 12:06 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ea85o/a_challenge_to_seddit_advice_for_married_faithful/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-challenge-to-seddit-advice-for-married-faithful.1313165 https://theredarchive.com/post/1313165

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