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[–]BPhair 3 points4 points5 points 15 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I think she is trying to set you up with the shy friend.
This is commonly referred to as a 'bait and switch'.
[–][deleted] 15 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]BPhair 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I just think you should keep a eye out.
With that said, you should still pick up the 9 if you can pull it off.
[–][deleted] 15 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]BPhair 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Awesome mindset.
[–]chumpta 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
In true reddit fashion, I've never k-closed or f-closed a girl
it might look very similar, and it's only one letter off, but this is seddit. true seddit fashion is a lot different. i think you'll like it.
now you just had a hot asian fall into your lap. play it cool, and don't be afraid to fuck shit up. youre at college, there will be other opportunities. but dont use that as an excuse not to make a move. it is your excuse TO make a move.
in terms of particulars, when you meet up with this girl, start with a hug and a smile. when you're in lecture sitting next to each other, pay attention or whatever but do something fun with her too. like pass notes or throw paper at her head. when it gets playful enough you can probably poke her and such beneath/behind the desks. there's your kino.
texting needs to be even more laid back in this situation, you live on the same floor, you may not even need to text at all. in fact i may go so far as to say don't text her once, unless she starts it.
after that specifics are going to fall apart, follow the general warming her up for sex and logistical advice that you can gather from the FAQ or some classic pickup materials.
you're new - remember, the most important thing is to learn from this experience. it's just a bonus if you get to learn some sex moves on top of that.
[–][deleted] 15 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]chumpta 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
well you're in school and the same floor is a lot closer than most people get on a daily basis. what are you doing at night, when you're just hanging around the dorm? or when you go to dinner? i used to hang out with the kids in my hall all the time.
the hug isn't set in stone, you can take it or leave it. a way to calibrate this could be a big happy "hey" when you see her and kind of ambiguously open your arms. if she gets close enough, reads it as a hug, and goes in for it you can take that as a mild IOI, if not, whatever it's not really an IOD.
in terms of kino a great way to start is always - touch arm when you make a point; start with the back of your hand, then use the palm/open hand soon thereafter. using the back of the hand on her upper arm is like the least intrusive kino possible. even giant homophobes find this an acceptable way for a man to get his attention.
im also realizing you are supposed to meet her today so its probably too late for this advice but you can take this with you for any girl. hope it went well!
[–]TofuTofu 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Just remember this: Abundance mentality.
Don't get hung up on any girls, HB7 or HB9 or anyone.
You are an awesome person who is highly sought after! Do not forget this fact and you'll do just fine.
[–][deleted] 15 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]07SS 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well my thought on the guitar thing is, definitely try to at least get your bearings with playing the guitar. Learn some chords: G, D, A, E, C.
But just not knowing how to play guitar that well is not beta. Just say to her, if she asks: "I'm still learning to play, I just bought this the other day". Most likely, if she's interested, she'll offer to teach you a little bit. If not, ask her ;). I think your interest in the guitar just makes you seem like a more well-rounded person who has many interests. That's good, obviously. And plus, if you can learn to play decently, the ladies love guys who can play guitar. Trust me, I know from experience, bro. (Chris Farley reference anyone?)
[–]Ledatru 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Just hang out with her more... and once you feel like you two are comfortable, you can start making moves
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I wouldn't mention what you do other than, "I've got a job. I love it." I feel like saying "I'm a CTO." would be over the top boasting.
Avoid gold diggers. :)
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Good practice as any! You'll be fine. It's freshman year. They think you're the shit. Don't be afraid to touch her, wear a condom, don't tell her you love her after sex. Or before. Ever. Unless you get into an LTR. Then it's ok. You can fight with her over the phone who loves who more and it'd be cute.
Go for the HB7.
Asians, god. Heart em.
[–][deleted] 15 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 15 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, it's all good. Don't think too hard about it. Don't be too serious about trying to get that f-close. You'll get it if you relax, if it's not obvious you have a goal in mind. Let it happen, but don't expect it too. Virgins like you get laid everyday in college, without really knowing wtf they're doing.
As far as kino: start here. Once you realize you CAN touch people, it becomes really easy too because, well, it's enjoyable. You probably see naturals do it all the time. Practice touching people. If you see a friend, shake his hand and pull him into a man hug and slightly hump him. Give a girl you're not attracted to a shoulder rub. Hug people for no other reason but to hug them. Hit people on the shoulder to make a point. Whatever. Kino people that you aren't comfortable kinoing just to see what the hell happens.
Ok, texting. All statements, no questions. Pick a place and time to meet before class even if it's right outside the door. Something like, "Let's meet 5 minutes before class, by the water fountain." She asks "why?" Say "I always get thirsty before math." She says, "but it's not math class!" And you say, "I do math every class. While I'm taking notes and participating. For fun."
Give her a hug when you meet her. Don't know how to give a hug? Say, "GIVE ME A HUG!" and open your arms wide as you walk towards her. She asks, "Why?" you say, "Because hugs are awesome and you need practice."
How the fuck you gonna approach during lecture?? There's a fucking lecture! Be your badass self in class, giving truth with attitude. Don't be focused on her the whole time, that's dumb. Desperate. Focus on the class because that takes priority (even if it doesn't, communicating this is hot, trust me.) If she's trying to get your attention, tell her that you'll talk after class.
Don't ask for lunch. Say, I'm hungry. Grunt. Tell her she's coming to get some food with you. Get some food. Ask about her friend, why is she so shy? What, is she a virgin? Haha virgins are so silly!
Anyways, tell her that she should hang with you tonight. Don't elaborate.
Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't. I can't give you a step by step play until then. Just know if you find her on a bed, couch, whatever with you, it's going down. Hell, even if you hug her and pull away, but still hold her, and just look into her eyes then look down to her mouth, it's on. This is kinda thing where you gotta just go for it and see what happens. Only way to learn.
I hope what you get out of this is my tone, attitude. Did you ever picture yourself awkwardly shuffling up to her or timidly asking her to do something? NO! You tell her what's up and if she gives you guff you tease the hell out of her for it. That's what flirting is. Did I ever sound serious in my mock texts? NO! Don't ever think anything you're going to do is make it or break it fclose or not. Don't sweat about logistics of meeting up with her before class. Just tell her whats up and if not, laugh. Do a lot of laughing.
That's more life advice. Do a lot of laughing. It's healthy.
Good luck.
[–]Artivist 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That was real good advice.
[–]07SS 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
x2
[–]themysteriousfuture 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Excellent work. You can stay.
[–]fcdnl1 points 15 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
Obviously, one day to learn these things can be a bit difficult. You have a lot of confidence about you so definitely keep that mentality, it is great.
The rest of this might very well fuck you up if you try to do it in a day.
[–]fcdnl1 points 15 years ago* [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Voice
If you say it's fine, it's fine. Don't worry about it.
Kino
The video suggested by Sford is great regarding kino.
Smiling
Laugh at things that are funny.
Eye Contact
Girls on the street, shoot them a smile if they hold your gaze. For men, enjoy the awkward alpha stare down.
Hug/call
Regarding the hug/call, this would be more appropriate when leaving her or when you meet up for a hang out. Not on the first day of class. I misread this. A surprise hug isn't a good idea (haha). Yes, you need eye contact first. Her first emotion shouldn't be fear!
Let's say lecture ends and I say something like "Hey, I'm about to head over to The Underground; come get lunch with me" (right thing to say?), and she says she has another class. What is my reaction?
That works fine. If she has class, it's not a big deal so don't make it one.
Food
I eat whatever looks delicious. Obviously table manners are a must but that's not gonna stop me from enjoying food, heh.
Conversation
Just be natural, man. If you over think it you'll fuck up. Don't worry she'll be talking about herself plenty.
Kissing
If you think you are the man, you are. Perception is reality. If you want to kiss her, go for it. But I don't see the rush, not like you aren't going to see her again.
Compliments
I like to just say "thank you". Others suggest the cocky/funny "I know".
edit
Hand holding
Do not lead her from the lecture hall with your hand. This is something that is done much further down the road. It can be done in a crowded club when you just met someone if done right, but not in the day during class. That is suicide. Read the kino escalation ladder for when this is more acceptable. You want to do it when you're with her and only her out somewhere, say leading her through some people on a crowded street.
Yes you've got the strategy and the mentality. Now go execute and let us know what happens :). Good luck
Last sentence here is so important. DO NOT bitch out, this will feel absolutely terrible. No joke, I missed roughly 4-5 opportunities early in high school because I didn't go in for it when I should have. Trust me, you feel like SHIT immediately after and for the next day or so. It is absolutely disgusting. You just become disgusted with yourself and that is the worse thing that can happen to PUAs.
Even if you're "not sure" if the time is right, do it anyways. Most of the time, it is right. Let this be your checklist:
Are you alone with her? Check.
Are you both not talking? Check.
Are you making eye contact, as well as being within a foot or so from her? Check.
You're set. As someone else said in some thread yesterday "fuck that disney shit". Those "moments" are non-existent. It's YOUR JOB to get the end result, however. Doesn't matter how, even if it's awkward, she's thinking the same thing; going in for it will put both your minds at ease.
[–]jagermeistr 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Biggest advice for freshmen in college: if you put yourself out there socially, approach girls, and maintain relationships with girls on your floor (meaning being a fun guy who stays in the loop) you will develop on a basic level all the skills you're asking about here. If you set your mind to it and put in the effort, you will get laid. Hey, I pulled it off and I had very little sexual experience at that age. College will change that if you let it.
Why text when you live on the same floor and can walk by their room to invite them over to pregame? I'm learning the hard way at 23 that texts are much less dynamic and effective than calling or showing up in person. In college you live in the same place as the people you're trying to contact, face to face is better.
[–]afcanonymous 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
I agree with BPhair. Seems like your target is the HB 7, but make sure. Get her number from HB 9 after making sure. The HB 9 will most likely try to talk about HB7, so don't bring it up.
Don't text too much. Keep it very laconic. Text asking to hang out. Do something low investment, like ask her to chill at the quad, or grab lunch at the cafeteria. "I'm gonna grab lunch later at X cafeteria, join me?" This is to get her comfy with you. Don't talk too much, ask her about her life. Don't boast, make her ask questions about you.
Don't worry about kino with college girls on a date/ hang out. Don't let it seem like you're trying to date her.
College Freshmen girls are just as awkward and inexperienced as you are.
Ask her to come to your room for a movie at some point, either during the hanging out part, or some time when you're both free.
10-15 minutes into a not very interesting movie (use Netflix streaming or something), turn to her, hold eye contact and tell her you're bored with the movie. Hold eye contact and move in for kiss.
If she's too shy to kiss you back, smile, and ask her if she's shy. If she is, then telll her to relax and try again.
This should be step 1. Masturbate before your date. If you end up fucking, then you don't want to come too early.
[–]afcanonymous 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Stop overthinking it. She will sense it. Just stay calm and be unreactive (Badasses don't look at explosions).
Just eat food, and don't show too much interest.
Just be playful.
It's really hard to give you advice without knowing who you are, seeing what you're like. My self image as a freshman was COMPLETELY wrong, I really wasn't the person I thought I was. All I can say is, don't be too needy, and TAKE RISKS. There are hundreds of girls at your uni, don't be afraid to fail. Be forward and don't care about their reactions.
[–]cheddarchexmix 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
You've gotten plenty of pickup advice, so I'll just throw this professional advice out there. Even though you may have a good job already, it is a huge help to your resume down the line to graduate with a very good GPA. If you're going to a prestigious CS program like CMU, that's good, but graduating with a great GPA helps even more.
I have directly hired well over 200 CS grads in my career, and seen probably 10,000 resumes, and so I'm telling you from experience that a good GPA on your resume will help you down the road. Even for guys 4+ years out of a good college, something like a 3.8+ on their resume would help move them up the stack for me.
Hope this helps and isn't too out of line for Seddit - good jobs will help your lifestyle :)
[–]cheddarchexmix 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Cool, good luck!
Your resume is indeed pretty decent especially considering you are a freshman. One tip: your bullets should focus on results less than responsibilities / skills. e.g. "Researched GWT & Spring" is less impactful than "Implemented a blah system in GWT/Spring that resulted in a X% increase in blah productivity" etc.
[–]cheddarchexmix 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Quantification is the most important thing to me. Obviously if you didn't create much, don't lie, but even for small things like "Designed SQL database model" I prefer to see "Designed SQL database model (27 tables, implemented in Oracle 9i)" etc.
You say "worked with and researched" - what did "worked with" mean? If you even did a teeny proof-of-concept, drop the "researched" term and say something like "Produced product POC using GWT and Spring" - that obviously implies research. "Researched" is a low-value term in resumes.
When I interview someone who did research for a project, the main thing I look for is making sure they understood what the alternatives would be, and why the chosen tech was superior. Spring in particular has many facets and I probe for how deeply candidates understand what Spring really is and has to offer beyond just being an IoC container (but also what the IoC alternatives would be). GWT is an odd beast but can somewhat be compared to the newer JS frameworks like ExtJS etc.
Hope that helps! Don't stress too much about your resume so early on in college, the main thing is to be involved in high-value work and keep up your GPA.
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[–]BPhair 3 points4 points5 points (4 children) | Copy Link
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[–]BPhair 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]chumpta 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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