I feel like a million goddamn dollars right now. I was getting a drink with a coworker last night and saw HB9 at the bar. The seat next to her opened up and I told my friend "I'll be right back in 2 minutes, I'm going to go get rejected by this girl."

Just to give you some context, my girlfriend dumped me 6 weeks ago for another guy. We dated for over 2 years and she broke up with me with a clinical 3min 41sec phone call. I felt humiliated and undervalued. In the past 6 weeks I dropped 20 lbs (thanks Fittit!) and I've been opening a few sets per week. I'm pretty absurd at comfort building and kino but my opening game is absolute garbage, for now.

I walked up to her and opened with "hey you look interesting so I'll talk to you. I'm a 5th grade science teacher and I'm trying to decide on a class pet." She said "hermit crab," and I spent the rest of the night periodically negging her for picking the ugliest animal on the planet. Building the "I'm a caring and charming young teacher" identity, I showed her some pictures of my classroom on my phone -- total chick crack.

Later: Her: "I'm actually a model" Me: "what like a hand model?" Her: "I was in Playboy, but I'm quitting modeling and I'm trying to switch careers" Me: "That can be scary. My mom grew up in a tiny superstitious village in India and she believed she could tell your future by reading your palm."

At this point she pressed her hand into mine and asked me to read it. I took my time reading it then chucked her hand back to her, joking that she was just looking for an excuse to hold my hand. I asked her if she's a "top" or "bottom" when she holds hands with guys (like how a couple's hands are oriented). I told her that with some of my girlfriends I was a bottom but lately I've only been a top. We "practiced" holding hands as though we were a couple. She interrupts me to say there was a hookah bar nearby and we should go smoke.

A Playboy model bounced ME.

We kissed pretty viciously at the hookah bar. She showed me some pics on her phone from her Playboy shoot. She also showed me some pics from when she dated Mark Stoermer from The Killers (insane). Her phone was out so I used this as an excuse to procure her number.

The social proof was intoxicating. A random girl actually walked up to me and whispered in my ear "you need to do ANYTHING this girl tells you to do tonight." [quick aside: I was a bit annoyed. I think the subtext is "this girl looks too pretty for you." Her comment actually threw me off a lot]

We made plans to hang out Tuesday night. I'm pretty sure she'll flake (it's been happening a lot to me lately) but who cares? It was such an awesome experience and I feel godlike right now.

Thank you so much Seddit. This is such a resourceful and supportive community!