Cute girl thought I was gay, threw my whole night off...

YeOldeThrowaway · 2011-07-17T16:23:55+00:00

I've had women think I'm gay before. I understand where you're coming from, but I end up just taking it as a compliment. It's a bit of a stereotype, but gay guys are seen as having style, being fun to be around, and hot girls seem to love to hang around them.

There are even some PUA routines centered around pretending to be gay. I'm not one for deception, but I have no doubt you could have still used the situation to your advantage. Agree and amplify. Tease her about it. Don't let it affect your frame.

nonatal · 2011-07-17T06:51:46+00:00

I'm not parsing this part. What does "then responded negatively about how I was looking at her" mean?

It all sounds a bit immature. So you come up in conversation, she says something about thinking you're gay, and then someone decides that it's a great idea to go tell you that because...? A mature person would've gone 'Oh you got that wrong' or the like and never mentioned it to you. Because really, what good is supposed to come out of gossiping like that?

blackdevildisco · 2011-07-17T17:52:15+00:00

Dude. Your thinking is completely messed up here.

I know you say you're not prejudiced, but I think there is some residual prejudice going on if you felt so bummed, and if you think there's a disjunct between being a "sexy and cool guy" and being "gay." Plenty of girls find gay guys sexy, cool, and attractive. In some cases, even to the point of uselessly following them around, irrationally hoping they'll change their orientation somehow.

So a girl thinking you're gay probably says very little about how attracted she is to you; it just says something about who she thinks you're attracted to. Which is irrelevant.

And besides, you shouldn't be looking for validation to begin with – even if she was homophobic and thought less of you for seeming gay, so what? Maintain your frame, do your thing, and change her mind.

2011-07-17T19:03:22+00:00

So my reaction was to immediately go and sit down next to her, look her in the eyes and say, "So I hear you think I'm gay." She seemed caught off guard at first and then responded negatively about how I was looking at her.

Shit test

After that I completely wrote the girl off in the context of wanting to get to know her better for any reason,

LIES

but for the rest of the night I was still really annoyed and found myself acting differently to sort of prove to her that I was not gay.

TRUTH

Ohioho · 2011-07-17T18:40:55+00:00

you are insecure, being gay is awesome

subheight640 · 2011-07-17T17:50:45+00:00

If a girl even questions if you are gay, it is a good sign. That means she's thinking about you, and who you are. That means she's interested.

A girl won't ask a guy she doesn't like if he's gay or not. IMO, being asked if you're gay is an IOI.

Next time a girl thinks you're gay, play it up, turn up the flamboyancy to 11, and do all the things gay guys can get away with doing with women.

worthwhilethrowaway · 2011-07-17T18:49:01+00:00

not, "sexy and cool guy," but rather, "gay?"

Usually that's the reason they think you're gay. Girls have thought i'm gay because, "you dress really well, and are very attractive," also because i can make them laugh, keep in very good shape, cook, and do my own laundry. It's a compliment, basically what goes through their mind is "everything about him is so awesome he couldn't possibly be straight, because most straight guys i know suck. he must be gay."

domesticsimdomina · 2011-07-17T19:38:18+00:00

Perhaps your perspective is a little off. There are tons of women who find gay guys hot, but because they're gay they don't approach them. I'd suppose it'd be like meeting a hot chick but finding out she's married. Kinda kills the vibe. She probably didn't think you were flamboyant or anything, but if you were having a good time dancing and openly expressing your enjoyment (something straight men have a hard time doing and women and gay men are typically comfortable with) she just probably wrote you off as uninterested in her. In a less eloquent manner she just told someone she thought you were gay. Don't let it get to you, just learn to work with it.

kori9 · 2011-07-19T05:51:13+00:00

You shoudl take that as a compliment. Hot guys usually turn out to be gay or taken, so she might have just been pessimistic and assumed you were gay.. either that or you should probably not wear cutoff jeans with a rainbow patch..

Don't take it as a negative. i don't think you should have gone up to her and confronted her about it.

irrelevant_spiderman · 2011-07-21T18:43:17+00:00

I get the "is he gay?" thing a lot. Most of the time it's because I talk too much, but they usually learn fast that I'm not actually. My favorite reply if I get asked if I'm gay by a HB is to reply "we should probably go find out", which has worked on a couple occassions. Another time a girl I knew for like 3 months thought I was gay the entire time, but it didn't end up stopping me from f-closing in the end(which is still a reoccurring thing months later).

jcook92 · 2011-07-17T20:08:40+00:00

Some girls just say stuff like that to show that there is zero interest so stop trying. :T It's rather immature and not very kind. But also, you shouldn't be so offended, it makes you seem like a homophobe.

l3fth4nd · 2011-07-17T23:04:04+00:00

I would not give a fuck, then assume she's into me and prove to her I'm not gay by staring her down and escalating.

TimofeyPnin · 2011-07-20T00:54:10+00:00

"I'm gay for you."

ElGruntox · 2011-07-21T06:01:33+00:00

What I usually do in a situation like this is hire a hooker. I've found that just getting what you want out of a chick even though you're paying her is the greatest thing in the world. I also log every time I have sex with a hooker and keep their name and number and a little 1 - 10 rating next to their name. Its pretty great because sometimes I "accidently" leave this lil book of mine out when I'm hitting up a girl at a party when I "go to the bathroom" and girls read it and think about how much of a bad ass I am. Gets me laid so much

solmakou · 2011-07-21T17:34:31+00:00

I get accused of being gay somewhat frequently. My response is usually a variation of, "Yes I love men, nothing I love more then a big bowl of steaming penis." then give them the 'seriously' look.

kingnutter · 2011-07-17T08:30:58+00:00

Have you ever heard of Shit Tests?

Nexism · 2011-07-17T20:41:22+00:00

Ugh, do people not read the sidebar?

This is a standard entry level shit test.

Save yourself the humiliation and time, read the damn sidebar.

Title	Cute girl thought I was gay, threw my whole night off...
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	13
Comments	29
Date	July 17, 2011 6:32 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/iruhv/cute_girl_thought_i_was_gay_threw_my_whole_night/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/cute-girl-thought-i-was-gay-threw-my-whole-night.1320353 https://theredarchive.com/post/1320353

Comments