Fraternity or no?

thedeacon · 2011-09-01T12:50:03+00:00

You'll meet a lot of people who join a frat as a 'social crutch' to just meet girls, party, and binge drink. Don't be like those people who's entire college existence is held up by their frat. You're in the community. You don't need that.

If you want to join, do it for the networking, the mentoring, and the lifelong friends you might make. And for fucks sake DON'T haze.

xxmattibexx · 2011-09-01T04:08:37+00:00

I was in a big, partying, "bro" type house in college and I really liked it. You'll meet some good guys and some dicks, but you'll have a great time overall.

If you're thinking about it at all my advice would be check out several houses, maybe bring a buddy along to see how they feel about it. If you like one give it a try, you're not stuck in it if you pledge. Here's what I've seen people do:

Rush, don't like it/ don't get a bid and never do it
Pledge, wasn't what they hoped and drop out at some point
Go on to be a brother and grow tired of it and drift away
Like it and have a great experience with it

Main point being, you're not gonna be stuck in it so give it a try if you're feeling it.

ATribeCalledGreg · 2011-09-01T02:22:38+00:00

I'd pass. I can't say I'm knowledgeable about how that stuff works, but I would rather avoid being labeled a frat boy and the negative connotation that brings about in my mind.

dchup · 2011-09-01T05:32:54+00:00

absolutely.

Naga14 · 2011-09-01T13:16:27+00:00

I did a frat for a year, a semester in the house, a semester out. I don't recommend it. For one, you are paying money for friendship you can find otherwise. Two, you aren't going to be required to learn social skills since you immediately are just accepted. Three, all of these people will disown you the moment you decide you don't want to be in a frat. Are they really your friends?

Maybe I just had a bad experience ;)

generaltsao · 2011-09-01T06:00:48+00:00

If you go to a large college you don't need it. If you can have a fun time w/o joining a frat you'll know you're a well-rounded person, and not a fratty dipshit. Beware, if you join a frat you will have to deal with people telling you to do things that you don't want to do. Like parents, but they don't love you or have your best interests in mind, in fact, they don't give a shit about you.

ViperV · 2011-09-01T06:19:06+00:00

It depends on the fraternity and the brothers within it. Some are great and do a lot for not only your college experience, but for the rest of your life in terms of networking.

Unfortunately greek life gets a bad rep from one or two houses that do dumb activities, ruining it for the rest of us. Check out this post and the comments for useful info: http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/jybt4/its_shit_like_this_greek_system/

urfaselol · 2011-09-01T18:35:32+00:00

highly depends. If the fraternity in question had a good reputation with the greek system and quality stand up guys then I say go for it. It can be a fantastic experience with many lifelong friends.

Me? I had a horrible experience with fraternities. My childhood friend (who ironically isn't my friend anymore) pretty much tricked me into joining. I didn't know anything about fraternities at the time so I went in blind. It wasn't until about 6 weeks in, I realized I just joined the worst fraternity on campus (with a bunch of losers/chodes who think they're cool because they're in a frat). The only sorority that would do an exchange with us was the worst sorority (KKG, we called them kappa kilogramma for obvious reasons). It was one hell of a wake up call. I ended up needlessly spending money on dues and the entire time I was completely embarrassed that I was in it.

Take advice from me in saying... do your research.

singularity_time · 2011-09-02T00:57:58+00:00

It has its ups and downs, but do your research before joining. If you can find a group that fits you well and you can be cool with, do it, otherwise you will be better off on your own. It isn't an easy situation to get out of if you realize it isn't for you. Stay sharp when/if you are pledging. The negative label does take its tole but keep in mind you can overcome it with your personality. It could even work to your advantage.

MonkeySteriods · 2011-09-02T01:23:19+00:00

If you consider them to be chodes, how will they challenge you to improve?

mpm4 · 2011-09-02T02:06:49+00:00

A lot of guys with the negative comments more than likely have no experience whatsoever and are basing their opinions off movies/stereotype.

I was in a fraternity, like anything else it has it's positives and negatives. For one, you aren't paying for friends, the money is a social bill that goes towards throwing parties/other social events. The friendships you make in the house are going to be based off who you are, not the money you pay. It's funny how the guys who say we're "paying for friends" are the same guys who are always trying to sneak into our parties to hang out with all the girls. Jesus, the sorority girls alone are worth the small cost...I think I pay $200 a quarter.

On a negative side, there can be cliches in the house but that happens in any big group of people. You're going to end up with a few close friends at the end of it within a big circle of guys that you can later network with. I'm not sure what the "you aren't going to be required to learn social skills" comment is about. I was very anti-social and awkward at the beginning of college, it took me being in a fraternity to realize this and finally attempt to fix it. You are forced to learn to change your social skills in these types of situations - I'm not sure why anyone would think this is a bad thing.

In my last couple years of college I became more separated from the house to focus on school and also got bored of the "frat life". Guess what? I'm still friends with all the guys I was before.

@xxmattibexx - Find out for yourself, don't listen to a bunch of guy's opinions on the internet and take their word. It's definitely not for everyone and there were times when I asked myself during the pledge process if it was really worth it, granted our hazing wasn't too bad. You could end up finding a good house and really liking it. Worst scenario is you realize it isn't for you but at least you took a chance - isn't what seddit is about? Get out of your comfort zone.

leevs11 · 2011-09-03T15:04:51+00:00

I know I'm a couple of days late here...

A fraternity is going to help you from a sheer numbers perspective. Weekly, fraternities will throw parties either in the house at a bar. Usually inviting one or more sororities who want to come and get drunk. The huge bonus is that the entire group of girls is basically there to meet you. You aren't at some shitty club alone in a mess of girls who may or may not be interested. You're in a party with a hundred of your acquaintances and good friends and a hundred young, college girls, who are looking for fun.

This kind of brings me to the whole "paying for your friends" thing. It's not really true. You're paying for the house, maintenance, food, bar tabs, keg parties, bus trips, woodsers, etc. It's no difference than if a bunch of GDIs pooled their money to throw a big party every week. It just has the organization in place to put things together and make it happen. You ever try to get people to pitch in for a party? It sucks. Nobody works together to figure it out. If the fraternity just charges for dues up front, then allocates things out, nobody bitches and it goes a lot smoother.

A fraternity doesn't guarantee you friends anyways. It gives you a large group of acquaintances. This is nice for social proof. I could hardly go to a bar and not run into somebody that I knew any day of the week. That said, you will probably end up with a good 3-4 guys that you hang out with on a regular basis and become good friends with. It just happens that way. You know a hundred guys in the frat, but will mostly hang out with the same small group. (it'll probably be who you end up living with).

As far as seduction is concerned, all being in a frat will do is increase your social proof and your opportunities to meet hot young college girls. In a frat, there are still plenty of AFCs who barely hook up or end up with a shitty girlfriend for 4 years because they're afraid to talk to other girls. Don't be this guy. Don't get a girlfriend. I had one for 2 years in college and it was an absolute waste of my time. There is no girl in college looking to settle down and get married. They may tell themselves that, but it's not true. Eventually things will fall apart and you'll wonder where the past couple of years went and why you didn't sleep with tons of college girls.

So do it if you want to. You'll have fun and you can always quit. Get involved after pledgeship. Pledging is hard and you'll be hazed, but enjoy it. It's the best semester of college. Afterwards try to move in house as soon as possible. The crazy shit that happens on the off nights are what make a fraternity really fun.

Get involved with the chapter too. Become an officer or a chair of something if you can. This isn't that hard, because most guys are pretty lazy and want somebody to do it for the. Social chair or rush chair are pretty awesome spots. Don't run for president though unless you really want the political leadership experience. It's a pain in the ass and no frat president is ever having a good time until they are not president anymore.

Also, sorority seem to come in tiers. First is the hottest girls. Second is the good looking ones who you can easily bang any time. Third is meant to be avoided. They can have a few hot members, but they are desperate to get "in" with the cool frats. Join a frat that mostly associates with the top tier in their official social events. This way you have access to first tier, but can happily enjoy some second tier at other times. If you join a frat that only really hangs out with the second tier, it's like the top tier is off limits. (keep in mind that everything is up to the individual. By off limits I mean that they won't be planning social events and tail gate parties with the top tier, not that you can't talk to them at a bar)

All in all though, enjoy it, talk to everyone (girls and guys), live in house, go out ever night that you possibly can. Still work hard to get good grades, but make sure your schedule allows you to be involved in the fraternity and partying.

heckz · 2011-09-01T05:43:46+00:00

Depending on your college it's guaranteed access to some of the hot women on campus. If you don't already have a big social network, I'd go for it.

sillymallard · 2011-09-01T15:03:09+00:00

In college, my non-fraternity friends and I made up our own ridiculous informal fraternity, poking fun at all the other fraternities. Try this out and have fun with it! No house of course, but it was kind of fun to say I was in a secret fraternity that I couldn't talk about, etc., and yet at the same time not be a frat boy. In retrospect, I also feel that fraternities are underrated at the moment. There are some really good ones that have an environment of service, educational excellence, and making members into overall better people.

mrizzyg · 2011-09-01T20:32:00+00:00

FUCK YES. Who cares if it's not your style. If you're having problems with girls, then you need to be in situations where they are at. Situational Confidence? Who the fuck cares! Why does this shit even matter. It's the easy way out, yes. Worry about all the other shit when you're out of college when you meet women infrequently. I'm done here.

Title	Fraternity or no?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	27
Date	September 1, 2011 12:46 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/k0sf1/fraternity_or_no/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fraternity-or-no.1321969 https://theredarchive.com/post/1321969

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