Anti-slut defense again. FML. Please help me. I'm completely lost.

tesserakt · 2011-11-28T23:15:14+00:00

She let you go down on her then she left?

You're a doormat.

If I wanted a girlfriend, I would want one that isn't driven by arrogance. I would tell her "I would love to have you in my life but it sounds like you're confused about what you want. Maybe we can get together when you figure it out". ==> Your time is not more important than mine.

Once you stand up for yourself, she'll either come running towards you, ready for oral reciprocity, or she'll keep dawdling, and isn't ready for a relationship where you two are equals.

frogma · 2011-11-28T23:39:40+00:00

She's simply not sex-positive. That's how most girls are. In terms of dealing with the LMR, I wouldn't have said exactly what you said but I probably would've said something similar (as a last resort though): The main thing I usually say is that it's something 2 people can enjoy together, even friends can do it, etc. It means nothing beyond sex unless you choose to think of it that way. If worst comes to worst I tell them I really like them (often true, but not necessarily the exact truth) and that usually works out.

Mainly I just pull back and re-escalate though. Keep doing what I've been doing and ramp up the horniness (maybe that means kissing her neck or whatever, or going down on her some more, or whatever- sometimes I play the "no kissing" game, where we can get as close as possible to each other, but the first one to initiate a kiss loses. That can last anywhere from 2 minutes to a half hour and usually builds up a lot of tension. It's a game I basically made up but it's based on some classic kiddie shit). Beyond that you can try freeze-outs.

The main thing is to be supremely confident during all of that, kinda like you know you're gonna get sex but at the same time you don't give a shit either way. I'm also usually pretty playful with it, so by the time the girl's in my room I'm throwing off my clothes and telling her to get naked, like it's just a natural occurrence and she'd be weird to go against it. As far as your specific situation, you probably could've done it a bit better but you did fine. If this girl's constantly throwing you off, for one I'd say she's definitely still interested but just weird, and for 2 I'd say she might not be worth it. Up to you, but if it were me I'd put her on the backburner and not exactly focus on other girls, but at least get some sex from other girls in the meantime so it's not a worry. I'm gonna go read back over your other post though and see if there's more I can say about it.

ARealSocialRetard · 2011-11-28T21:24:54+00:00

You've said before that you want to be in a relationship with this girl. Be VERY careful when you say things like "I don't want to do anything you aren't ready for, but I won't wait forever," because what this is going to say to her is that you value sex more than her desire to hold off. That's not to say that you can't stress that you do want to have a sexual relationship with her, but if you do try to show her later on that you want a relationship, she may end up with mixed signals, especially if she wants to wait until she's in a relationship before she has sex.

Maybe it's time you start the discussion about a relationship. If you want to be with her, then drop that bomb and see how she reacts. If she's letting you go down on her, she obviously isn't putting you in the friend zone, so it may be that she just isn't seeing you move as fast in that direction as she'd like.

Cryogen_at_work · 2011-11-28T21:06:17+00:00

This is obvious. She wants feelings involved first, you should just move on if all you want is to hook up with girls. If she said something like, "I don't wanna be a slut." Then that would have made more sense.

You said you genuinely like this girl, so if you do, then wait a little bit longer, show her how you really feel if you have serious intent, and then live happily ever after.

Epoh · 2011-11-29T01:23:14+00:00

When you went down on her did she get off and then leave? Or did she leave as soon as youheaded downstairs? Cause if it was the first one, then even i am pissed off, despite me not knowing u or her in anyway.

Do you want to be with a girl who flip flops on you like that? If she doesnt have sex with you next time, id move on man unless you get along with this girl amazingly well. Be prepared if you break up with her, she will probably try to paint you as the prick who just wanted her for sex, and you gotta accept ppl may take her side despite you taking the high road with this bitch.

theAdamNYC · 2011-11-29T02:42:47+00:00

You asked for a sex guide. This covers how to make a girl come mostly by using a hooked finger on her g-spot (and he gives you a good idea of how to find it). I read this last year, having never previously made a girl come from oral sex/fingering (despite a lot of blind and/or misguided trying). I have made all of my partners come hard from this since.

http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/stacking-orgasms-how-to-do-it-vt20393.html

07SS · 2011-11-29T03:34:57+00:00

I don't see a problem with you pursuing other girls while she figures out wtf she wants.

Don't waste your time because of her indecision. If she wants to be all wishy-washy with what she wants, let her do that and consume all of her time and thought... don't let that affect you.

ddhboy · 2011-11-29T04:53:06+00:00

If you want a girlfriend and she wants a boyfriend then you're both playing with the wrong controller. See right now the two of you are having this spat because of lust. What you should be doing is getting her to fall in love with you. Far more powerful of a tool when it comes to maintaining a relationship. Be there for her emotionally, sensually, and then withdraw your emotional attachment suddenly so that she becomes desperate for your attention again.

Title	Anti-slut defense again. FML. Please help me. I'm completely lost.
Author	sillymallard
Upvotes	19
Comments	33
Date	November 28, 2011 8:53 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/msf0v/antislut_defense_again_fml_please_help_me_im/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/anti-slut-defense-again-fml-please-help-me-im.1325296 https://theredarchive.com/post/1325296

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