So, I seem gay. How does this play into the world of pickup?

puaCurveBall · 2012-01-04T03:27:03+00:00

This is a huge advantage.

Barring deeper issues being the cause, I can say personally I get this all the time... I've found if a girl asks if I'm gay then she is basically DTF.

ShowcasePUA · 2012-01-04T02:11:55+00:00

I get the same thing too, bro. Mainly it's voice tonality and mannerisms. I used to think it hurt my game, but I've come to realize that it might enhance it in some situations. So I've never bothered to try to change my mannerisms. I've figured out that gay men simply pose little or no sexual threat in a woman's mind and it sometimes helps you slip right under the radar.

2012-01-04T04:57:31+00:00

I have this problem too! Actually, I kinda dress preppy and can dance really 'gay' ish if I want to. I fucked one girl who said her friend looked over me the first time we met and said, 'don't waste your time... he's gay'.

Here's my thoughts on this. I found that for pure seduction at a club, I have to reel it way back and just chill. I'm good looking enough that if I play the tall, dark, handsome, mysterious role, it's a sure fire win. If I get playful and let my more feminine energy side come out, it's a hit and miss.

On the other hand, outside the fast pickup (bars/clubs), the gayish me has tons of success with girls though not the 'need a manly man' type. I tend to get the HB7-8 very positive girls. Sometimes, I can pull really, really hot girls.

I wouldn't change myself. I am who I am and I think modifying my core self is a mistake. That's a lower level of consciousness. If the girls don't like the softer me, fuck them; i'm not going to change.

Having said that, if it works for you, do tone it down when you want to seduce girls quickly unless you can pull off the high energy, fun, gayish pickup from the get go. People are really good at this, just not me. I can't transition it into romance. Better to start as manly seducer in club environments.

Ohkohbaydo · 2012-01-04T04:00:35+00:00

I get that too but its from dudes who try to hate on my style game. A better example of this is Russell Brand, gets mistaken for gay, has AMAZING game with women

ge99 · 2012-01-04T04:21:38+00:00

Huh, I feel like I'm part of a club now based on showcase and curveball's answers.

I get this all the time too...

vibes22 · 2012-01-04T02:20:03+00:00

A few questions to ask yourself --

Do you feel any feelings of shame toward your feelings of attraction toward women?
Do you "friendzone" yourself toward your women friends and act like their girlfriends, because you're scared of presenting a sexual vibe toward them?
What kinds of girls are you attracted to? Very feminine, girly, sharply dressed in ways that emphasis their femininity, or more androgynous?

My thinking is this: The first two questions could be a way of examining whether or not you possess a common defense mechanism for guys who are intimidated by the femininity they are ultimately attracted to: rather than be yin to their yang, and accept their masculinity and the way it combines with the girl's vibe (making what we usually refer to as sexual tension or chemistry), they go the safer route and act safe, emasculated, feminine (or in stronger terms, like a chodey, spineless, wimpy, pussy ass bitch).

Now, if you DON'T think this applies to you, the third question will show that. Somebody (I think Tyler from RSD), said that the masculine to feminine spectrum makes couples who cancel out in the middle. In other words, the more extreme on one end, the more compatible that person is at the other extreme of the spectrum. Androgynous people are attracted to androgynous people. Guys who are attracted to super girly girls are usually pretty macho guys.

So to sum up, if you're into girls who aren't that feminine, don't worry about your feminine vibe, it's probably just an outgrowth of the type of girl you like. But if you ARE attracted to girls that are feminine, then your feminine vibe toward them is likely a defense mechanism allowing you to safely get closer to them and have rapport, without their perception of you containing the threat of sexuality. Hope this helps.

30vanquish · 2012-01-04T08:41:52+00:00

If you're into girls that like androgyny, it'll enhance your chances. Or those hipsters into thin dudes. Or artsy girls into more feminine males.

bcktth · 2012-01-04T16:29:38+00:00

Yo, I get the same thing as well at times because living in South Florida it's not common to see someone wearing glam-rock style clothing. So naturally in mid-convo I get asked the question "Wait, are you gay?"

Now, after trial and error I found out this is prob one of the biggest shit tests a girl can throw at you. From my perspective it says that she is interested in you but either you dress too good or you're overall self is too good to be true. And what I respond with to their assumption not only blows their minds, but results in k-closes shortly after.

Simply, I say "Congratulations! Looks like you found out tonight that not all the good men are married or gay. Lucky girl." and give her a evil smirk or a wink. That or "You would assume so but really it works in my favor because I sneak in and meet women such as yourself and than boom! boom! boom! All pregnant and I continue living the good life."

But don't let that stuff phase you, really. It doesn't mean you're wrong or doing something wrong. All it says is that you're different and unique... and some women can't understand a man dressing/living/acting the way you do. Be proud of that!

MetaSnow · 2012-01-04T09:01:29+00:00

I have talked on this before, I get this a lot when going out. It primarily depends on where it comes from. Most girls said it is because I dress with style, one has said my vocal tone. If it is just how styled/confident you are, it is massively helpful to you. Girls love gay guys and if you ask them, many want to fuck gay guys too.
However if you come off downright feminine across the board, it can hinder you. Just check on yourself and be confident in what you do.

Stythe · 2012-01-04T15:32:11+00:00

I've been called gay quite a few times. One time a girl I was hanging out with couldn't believe I wasn't gay. She asked me about 3 times and seemed genuinely surprised that I wasn't.

Don't worry about it. Tell them you're not gay, you're just very flamboyant.

cyfernoa · 2012-01-04T02:15:55+00:00

Try deepening your voice. There are a variety of ways to do this including vocal exercises.

1independentmale · 2012-01-04T22:19:36+00:00

You're metro, man. In touch with your feminine side. It's all good, women love this shit. My recommendation: Accept this about you and take advantage of it. It's a huge bonus. So many guys are afraid of being called gay. Why? What's wrong with being gay? If you respond, "But I'm not gay", you're missing the point.

I'm well dressed, articulate, and I take a little time to clean up and make my hair look good in the morning or before going out, etc. I keep my car and my crib super clean and get this -- I have Scentsy shit at my place. That's right. Not rainbows, butterflies and flowery shit, I took the time to pick some masculine warmers and scents, but yeah, it's Scentsy. My boys give me shit about being "gay" for it. Those fools are missing out - women get off on it big time.

Think about it: Fashionable, confident gay men are often surrounded by beautiful women because they have feminine qualities those women enjoy. I'm that guy, only better because they get to fuck me, too.

So, you know, call me gay for the Scentsy shit, or the candles, the clean house, the fashion sense, the fact that I buy and use high end hair care products, or because I keep my body hair nicely groomed. I don't give a fuck; I always have the last laugh when the cro-magnon haters struggle to pull sixes and I'm sexing up eights and nines left and right. "Ohh, me real man, me take shit no flush, no wash clothes, have stinky house." Have fun with that, Mr. Real Man.

Dress & act in a manner that is the most comfortable for you and ignore the haters. If you can get comfortable in your own skin you'll be well on your way to being able to pick up virtually any girl you want. If someone thinks you're gay, big deal. Let them think.

Title	So, I seem gay. How does this play into the world of pickup?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	21
Comments	31
Date	January 4, 2012 1:52 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/o1vwd/so_i_seem_gay_how_does_this_play_into_the_world/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/so-i-seem-gay-how-does-this-play-into-the-world-of.1326560 https://theredarchive.com/post/1326560

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