(girl here) How do I answer the "out of my league" rejection?

itstuckertime · 2012-01-08T18:11:26+00:00

Start hitting on hotter, smarter people, I guess. Upgrade!

2012-01-08T20:59:16+00:00

So wait, is the implication that you're not good enough to be in their league, or the opposite? I never fully understood what that expression meant!

If they're saying you're too banging for them, they're either total SAP's who aren't even man enough to give it a shot, or they're looking for an excuse to shut you down. Either way, you're probably better off finding someone else.

If a guy genuinely feels like he's not good enough, and you still like him, you'd need to show some direct interest that is unmistakable, probably coupled with eye contact and physical contact.

2012-01-09T01:28:59+00:00

They might just be saying that to be nice to you.

Anyway, the usual answer given to people who complain about this problem is to use qualification.

leSmoothOperator · 2012-01-08T18:49:52+00:00

It sounds like the people you are hitting on have confidence issues and may be intimidated by you. It may be a lost cause to continue trying to talk to them at all, because they have some issues themselves that they need to work out. I would move on until you found someone able to carry a conversation in a confident manner. And I wouldn't change your routine a bit. Most guys would love to have an attractive and confident woman to talk to and maybe a little bit more ;)

urfaselol · 2012-01-08T19:24:51+00:00

I have a theory that most people who have high standards (who feel who they can bag the hotter girls) also have high self esteem. Maybe you need to start upping your standards and reaching for the more attractive guys?

DesignMyself · 2012-01-08T21:20:15+00:00

Seduction seems to be about destroying "leagues", so I wouldn't start buying into leagues.

madcyansky · 2012-01-09T03:37:13+00:00

Young men are unnerved by an assertice woman in lots of cases. A guy who says "you're out of my league" is afraid, and therefor not worth your time. Ask this same question to the folks in r/twoXchromosomes for another perspective.

2012-01-09T09:44:56+00:00

Tell them you're doing charity work, today at your place after class and they should join. Then wink or someshit.

BlackOut_pua · 2012-01-08T20:29:07+00:00

Most right-minded guys will never reject a girl's overt advances unless she is unattractive or annoying in some way. Obviously I have no idea what you look like so I'm not saying you are ugly, but perhaps something in your technique is coming across as desperate.

I would recommend approaching guys with strong eye-contact and light kino, but make them feel like they are leading the interaction. For a lot of guys, myself included, the thrill of the chase is the most fun part of seduction.

2012-01-08T19:07:00+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ShamwowTseDung · 2012-01-09T09:27:12+00:00

Are you trying to date everyone you meet?

If so, stop that, it probably shows.

Just gathering from what I've read, in the way you typed it out.

2012-01-09T19:56:03+00:00

(Dog Here) Sounds like a pretty good problem to have if they all think your're hot stuff. Treat it like a shit test? say yea you're right you'd better buy me a drink.

ShamwowTseDung · 2012-01-08T20:23:33+00:00

I have no idea why a male is telling you that they can't date you because you're out of his league.

ARealSocialRetard · 2012-01-09T03:11:08+00:00

I think that if a guy tries to tell you that you're out of his league, you should simply say "Look, it's my job to decide that. Don't try to discount yourself before you even get a shot at it."

Seduceher · 2012-01-08T18:31:50+00:00

WTF! Sounds like you are hitting on idiots.

2012-01-09T01:53:00+00:00

I think freckles are hot, fyi.

Stay calm and carry on.

MonkeySteriods · 2012-01-09T03:09:06+00:00

Sounds like the out of my league bit was a bit of nervousness on the guys end. Theres nothing you can really do about that to fix the situation, just g and talk to others.

biggyb930 · 2012-01-09T10:33:07+00:00

I believe the best response of you're out of my league would be "Here let me bring you up"

2012-01-09T10:48:42+00:00

I'm guessing these guys are either very very weird, or they're not into you at all. I would never pass up the chance to sleep with a girl way better looking than me, unless she had some horrendous personality or something.

Who cares? Find someone else. That's what we men have to do when we get rejected. :)

throwawaysed789 · 2012-01-09T11:10:13+00:00

Read up on auto-rejection and attainability here: http://www.girlschase.com/content/secrets-getting-girls-staying-out-auto-rejection#

Edgar_Allan_Rich · 2012-01-09T21:54:47+00:00

1) Only if they are insecure losers.

2) Yes. Move to Austin and buy me dinner.

3) "I'm here to give you your big break, kid."

urfaselol · 2012-01-11T11:24:18+00:00

A guy saying you're "out of their league" means they don't feel confident enough to be paired with you. They consider you above them. Sure, they may feel lucky to spend time with you, but if they're so quick to say that you're out of their league, I wouldn't waste much time on them. You'll quickly find that they take almost no control in the relationship, are probably boring (waiting to hear what you want to do all the time) and probably want someone to take care of them. They haven't become comfortable with themselves or confident with who they are.

(By the way, I say all of this because I have been one of the guys that considered plenty of women "out of my league" in the past. For us guys that do that, we're going on to the battlefield already accepting defeat.)

to the OP: hang in there. You're probably quite the catch, maybe too much for simple boys to wrap their heads around. And who doesn't like freckles?

2012-01-12T20:30:27+00:00

Interesting... I just saw this posted in r/AdviceAnimals and figured I'd x-post this post there as a comment.

ShamwowTseDung · 2012-01-09T00:52:21+00:00

Males are shallow. It sounds like a nice rejection, because us sperm-carriers love to get something we don't deserve. I don't love freckles, if there are too many then I dislike it. You may simply not be their style as well, don't take this as you being ugly. :)

If you care to post/message an image, then I can at least tell you my honest opinion about the way you look, and if you're way too smoking hot.

As a girl, you have no need to approach people, but I am very glad you do. Make an Okcupid account to have guys start asking you for your number, and while you're at it, try hotornot and see how you rate.

Title	(girl here) How do I answer the "out of my league" rejection?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	32
Date	January 8, 2012 6:05 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/o84x1/girl_here_how_do_i_answer_the_out_of_my_league/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/girl-here-how-do-i-answer-the-out-of-my-league.1326694 https://theredarchive.com/post/1326694

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