Last night, a female friend from work stayed at my house and we fell asleep together on the couch, cuddled together. We're just on the couch now, watching Super Troopers, laying down, facing opposite ways. What should I do?

shakagnar · 2012-07-15T18:46:31+00:00

Get off Reddit.

old_fig_newtons · 2012-07-15T19:51:45+00:00

You're getting flamed for you inability to close; and that's the lesson to be learned.

"He who hesitates, masturbates". You're an opportunist, you are a trained killer who specializes in slaying pu-tang. You learned your lesson about what happens when you don't pull the trigger, so never make this mistake again.

In the future: kino escalate, kiss her, maybe throw in some LMR (last minute resistance), and then go caveman (I think it was Grimble who said that in the game)

effurface · 2012-07-15T19:01:52+00:00

Naked Man is the best choice here, clearly. Stand out of her field of view, strip down, and loudly clear your throat while nodding approvingly and pointing to your thunder.

frogma · 2012-07-15T19:11:47+00:00

You better not be trolling.

Turn towards her (I don't really know what you mean by "opposite ways").

If you're already facing towards her, easiest thing to do is stroke her hair. "Gracefully" slide your hand across the side of her face, around her ear, to move the hair out of the way. Do that like twice and she'll immediately know what's up.

Then just fuckin go for the kiss. YOU'RE ALREADY IN THE MOST PERFECT SITUATION TO GO FOR A KISS, SO JUST DO IT.

Edit: I looked over the post again. I'm assuming she's asleep right now? You gotta give some more details, because I don't understand the situation at all.

Personally, I wouldn't wake her up. Let her wake up on her own, say something "cute" to her, like "You look beautiful when you're sleeping" (or some shit), then make the move. Trust me dude, she already wants it (why else is she laying with you right now?). Just make the move.

samcrow · 2012-07-15T20:03:40+00:00

grab those titties and be like "oh look what i found '

2012-07-15T19:12:52+00:00

This seems like a rather clearcut scenario:

What the fuck do you want?

1.) If you want to hook up with her I'd start some kino, move closer to her, and try to kiss her in the next few minutes (preferably when a sexual scene or joke is made).

She'll either reciprocate and you guys fuck, or she doesn't feel the same way you back off relax and watch the movie.

She doesn't make any advances at all

You know what to do then, the balls in your court

themoor · 2012-07-15T19:24:35+00:00

Classic troll post or idiot (sometimes hard to tell).

Here's the post I'm waiting for:

There's a girl and she keeps nibbling my ear and putting her hand on my crotch. I'm not sure if she likes me. What should I do???? Help me Seddit!!!!

SkepMod · 2012-07-15T19:15:42+00:00

Foot massage now! If I am picturing your position right now. Feet are incredibly tactile, like the handshake trick, but more intimate.

Poisonpkr · 2012-07-15T20:23:00+00:00

A girl will almost always forgive you for moving too fast. she'll never forgive you for moving too slowly

ilikeconfetti · 2012-07-15T19:01:44+00:00

Seems like you already got the in, it isn't brain surgery

2012-07-15T19:42:05+00:00

Look into her eyes while you talk to her. Speak a bit more slowly than normal and focus on what your speech feels like rather than what you are saying. maintain eye contact and use your eyes to communicate warmth and acceptance and love. don't look away. she will look into your eyes too. see if her pupils are dilated. make small variations in how your face is related to hers. smile a little. does she smile back. move your face little closer to hers. does she move away? brush some of her hair over her ears. does she move away? after each of these times when you "test" her, you are allowing her to decline. if she doesn't, it's a green light to go forward. in between each test, move back a little and let her sort of "recuperate" before starting the next test. for the most part though, if her pupils are dilated, go in for the kiss.

if she turns down the kiss and gives you the cheek, just do a raspberry on her cheek and then tickle her and say "oh shot down!!!" and do the airplane thing with your hand. this way it is not awkward and you can stay friends. also, if you know how to get shot down gracefully, you'll be a lot less scared of being shot down. us humans are more scared of being awkward than of rejection i think.

uglyduck5000 · 2012-07-15T20:33:18+00:00

Because YOU had to go? Dude.

P3rplex · 2012-07-15T20:37:13+00:00

Being on your computer while she is there is your first mistake. You cant let something like your phone or computer being a point of focus instead of where it should be (on the movie or her).

andyfrank · 2012-07-15T20:42:40+00:00

you didn't fail for being a pussy...you failed because your hands were on your phone and not her breasts...

Bunabayashi · 2012-07-15T20:45:35+00:00

Marcellus Wallace says, give her a foot massage

dwang19 · 2012-07-15T20:56:05+00:00

How are the two of you watching a movie facing opposite directions? Either one of you doesn't know how to watch movies or you aren't explaining it properly.

2012-07-15T21:06:35+00:00

Spank her ass and call her naughty. Whatever dude, get laid.

orangejulius69 · 2012-07-15T21:12:21+00:00

Pop a boner and accidentally poke her with it. Problem solved

mitchsully · 2012-07-15T20:25:08+00:00

Just drop the line "Wanna take a shower?"

jabb0 · 2012-07-15T21:21:29+00:00

When in doubt I whip it out, Got me a rock n roll band.

2012-07-15T21:25:10+00:00

Be the man

onrul · 2012-07-15T19:13:07+00:00

I expect a post to r/gonewildstories soon.

2012-07-15T20:48:11+00:00

Update: Goddamnit, I'm a pussy. This is harder than it should be. She left because I have to take off soon. Fail.

Tell her that you had a great time laying together and that you would like to again some time.

2012-07-15T20:10:47+00:00

FOOTSIE!!

heliophoenix · 2012-07-15T20:21:35+00:00

/r/NoFap to un-friend zoned..

SpiderFan · 2012-07-15T20:56:19+00:00

Well, it looks like skills in reading people are at a begirners stage. Start slowly kino escalating, and see how she reacts and initiates back. Look up more intimate forms of kino.

Admit that you think she is really awesome and is glad she came out tonight, then mention you're trying really hard not to kiss her. If she smiles, lean in a bit and pause for a sec, then go for the kiss.

I'm not sure if it's fool proof, but there will be plenty of opportunities for you to have solid evidence if she's into or not.

doomgoblin · 2012-07-15T21:06:26+00:00

Dont shit where you eat, for starters.

Suckthecobra · 2012-07-15T21:50:38+00:00

I can only tell you what not to do. Don't get her pregnant stupid. Do everything else though.

2012-07-15T22:08:24+00:00

Throw confetti at her.

ThrowawayPUA · 2012-07-15T22:08:29+00:00

You failed last night. If you have to ask for advice, you have already failed.

CheapLaughs · 2012-07-15T20:08:38+00:00

I am just going to say. Don't shit where you eat man. How will hooking up with her affect what you do at work or your future at the company.

Abosnianguy · 2012-07-15T20:10:05+00:00

OP please tell us what happens.

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