A girl so hot she makes you beta again. Am I just crushing?

avonv · 2012-08-31T20:53:29+00:00

a few things:

actions speak louder than words, and if she really wanted to pursue things with you, she would not be so 'unavailable'.
move on to other girls, and stop being her lapdog in the workplace. you sound like you eat up everything she says, do nothing but smile and giggle around her. go a few days at work with barely talking to her. not to be passive aggressive, just because you need to show her that you really don't care that much about her. counter-intuitive, but it yields results...
understand that she is 2 years older than you and more mature than you. she does not want to "come over and watch breaking bad", as good as that show might be... she would probably rather you invite her to some bar or club but you are probably underage so that might not be an option.
you absolutely need to approach other girls. you have a good "in" with her since she is a coworker, but again, the key is to be a lot less nice to her. let her see you texting / flirting with other girls. blow her off. etc.

MARSpu · 2012-08-31T22:17:58+00:00

It's not beta to feel emotions. It's human. It's beta behaviour to adjust those emotions like a beta male would. Emotions should never be resisted though utilized where possible.

Alpha males are not cold-hearted beings, nor are they warm and fuzzy with everyone. They simply fit their emotions and spend their energy in a different way.

kamatres · 2012-08-31T20:32:29+00:00

It sounds you are already neck-deep in shit, you use words like mesmerized, you are already making excuses for her etc. You will never get girl like this with your current attitude, sorry. Move on.

changing333 · 2012-08-31T20:29:37+00:00

Go out and approach more girls

footprintx · 2012-08-31T22:46:51+00:00

Everybody here already answered that you're already done for and if you really want to reapproach, should wait a few months to do so.

I should also point out that faces lighting up ... some girls just have those faces. I knew a girl, every time I saw her, she'd be super excited "OMG! HI! I missed you so much!" Big Hug. Turns out that's her baseline level of "Hello."

centurijon · 2012-08-31T20:41:46+00:00

Back off, try again in a week or two. In the meantime approach other girls a lot.

2012-09-01T05:50:35+00:00

Luckily you can still masturbate to her.

2012-08-31T20:56:36+00:00

You're way too close to the situation. Back off, get you act togetherand try again in a few weeks/months.

IAMTHEDEATHMACHINE · 2012-08-31T22:15:19+00:00

Invite her to do something more exciting. At least go for drinks or something. Movies/TV dates are for relationships.

Also, if she wants it to happen, she'll make it happen. Even the busiest person in the world can make time for someone a week in advance.

2012-09-01T01:43:07+00:00

i agree with most of the comments here but with my experience I have always been able to be with older women. what you are doing is right, but now just let her be. she will miss talking to you if you stop giving into her. find another girl at work and make her laugh so she attracts attention. once this starts happening the girl you like will come back.

JihadDerp · 2012-08-31T22:57:31+00:00

Her face lights up because she loves her lapdog and the attention it gives her. But she doesn't want to fuck her lapdog. She wants to fuck a man who allows her into his fun world.

Canei · 2012-09-01T10:31:22+00:00

Inviting her to watch Breaking Bad was not the move. If you insist on the ill-advised idea of watching TV with a girl the first time you hang out independently, that might be the worst show you could pick. It's a fantastic series, but it doesn't exactly set the mood. There are tons of cool things you can do with a girl. Do those things instead.

I'm gonna disagree with the panel of "move on" people. They're right that you shouldn't obsess, so what you really need to do is let go of the outcome. Find your center and game her gently from a place of inner solidity (easier said than done I know, but this should be your goal)

Let me repeat, let go of the outcome with her. She's a hot girl, not the love of your life. Are you a bitch? Are you a little bitch? Well... are you? No. You're a man, a fucking force, so do what you want. Talk to other girls all the time, but don't stop flirting with her if you don't want to. Maybe let her come to you a little bit, and then be your best self without trying to impress her or "get her to like you."

I wouldn't call her out for flaking unless it was inexcusable. If she does something that shouldn't piss you off if some acquaintance does it, let it slide. If you have a genuine problem with her, don't make it a big deal but address it. You might find that she respects you more for it. If you let what she views as a pretty trivial action on her part (very hot girls flake all the time, it's just part of their lives) effect you so much that you lose your cool, you're in effect broadcasting how much she effects you. Because you're letting someone you don't know influence you so much, it makes you seem to her like you aren't solid. That's a bad way to come off.

Think about that word, solid. Don't overly read into her reactions to things you say, or her texts, or anything at all. You have to break this spell she has on you. Fake it until you make it, and just keep telling yourself not to react because it doesn't matter what she thinks of you. Ideally, you want her reacting to you instead of vice versa. Does a mountain react to the wind easily? No, because a mountain is solid. Be a mountain. Mountainousness is sexy to women.

I'm not telling you to seem like you don't care about how things go with this girl. I'm telling you to actually not care. It's all The Matrix, man. Have fun with hitting on her because you're fucking young and awesome for even trying to do what most guys are too big of chickens to attempt. In the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter a single fucking bit whether she loves you or hates you, it matters that you don't sell yourself out.

When you say you are mesmerized by her face, I have no sympathy. Whilst I understand that beauty is powerful, get over it. You barely know this girl. Just keep gaming her, and stop giving a single fuck because not giving a fuck is sexy and the amount of fucks you give isn't.

You will probably fail, but so be it and if you do fail, fail well and be fine about it. You might strike out totally and then have to work with her. Big deal. If you do what I suggested, it will be your next step on your gradual lifelong progression towards greatness.

itsmevichet · 2012-08-31T23:54:30+00:00

Yeah, you crushin'.

I love that song. Soooooo chumpy, though.

rienjabura · 2012-09-01T10:35:24+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2012-09-01T05:46:53+00:00

Go after 5 other girls if you want to get the super hot one.

2012-09-01T08:11:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Towlybear · 2012-09-01T13:39:55+00:00

"I'm completely mesmerized by her face and I end up pandering to her story about how she got sick" sounds like your headed toward the friendzone my man.

xarlev · 2012-09-01T15:20:22+00:00

Move on. If you can't do that, pretend you moved on.

2012-09-01T22:32:38+00:00

Yeah, never get too attached to one girl, it'll make you look very desperate, and I'm sorry I'm not going to mince my words but you probably are desperate. Its okay though and a lot of guys go through this, but you gotta keep your head up and move on. Think about it this way, the time that you're wasting with this girl could be spent on going out there and meeting at least 10 girls who are just like her or even better.

2012-09-01T02:07:02+00:00

Your story reminds me of a personal one, this happened about 25 years ago, I was like, 22 or something and there was a programmer in our department, 24 years old, petite, outrageous pornstar body, 9.2 or so. We dated some, but I had not yet studied any seduction. Never could get the kino going other than a short kiss. I thought I blew it out with oneitis, but it turned out she had a bf back in her hometown. Maybe something like this is happening with your friend. Force yourself not to dwell on her, and like 95% of the guys are saying, make more approaches. BTW, my 9.2 is now a fucking cow. Turns out I didn't really miss anything. Good luck, brah.

Title	A girl so hot she makes you beta again. Am I just crushing?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	50
Comments	37
Date	August 31, 2012 7:57 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/z5h8f/a_girl_so_hot_she_makes_you_beta_again_am_i_just/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-girl-so-hot-she-makes-you-beta-again-am-i-just.1338329 https://theredarchive.com/post/1338329

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