NEWBIES: Stop Worrying About IOIs. Seriously.

baldof · 2012-10-11T05:17:40+00:00

That and... The most important IOI is: Is she enjoying herself around you? Yes? You're probably doing about right.

Ds14 · 2012-10-11T05:17:16+00:00

If a girl is not attracted to you and you behave physically as if she is, she will at best be creeped out and at worst think you are trying to rape her.

Edit: Grammar

nycprowl · 2012-10-11T13:00:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

welcome2dc · 2012-10-11T14:36:23+00:00

This post is silly. IOIs are essential for knowing when to escalate and even if to waste your time once you've started an interaction.

UnapologeticalyAlive · 2012-10-11T15:29:50+00:00

A lot of guys think that learning to identify IOIs will enable them to avoid the risk of rejection. It won't. There is no way to avoid that risk. At some point, you have to just man up and take it. You'll get rejected sometimes, and other times she'll like you and things will go smoothly. Going through the experience of being rejected is the only way to learn to identify IOIs. Knowing when a girl likes you and when she doesn't is an intuitive thing, not something that can be learned by reading an online forum. Intuition comes from experience.

Naga14 · 2012-10-11T11:45:27+00:00

Nothing wrong with noticing IOIs, but don't look for them and stop asking about them :)

An IOI can be a big push for a new guy to talk to a girl. Don't you remember what it was like, or what it still is like trying to get the balls to talk to a girl? If you had the faintest idea that she is interested in you, it might give you the extra little confidence your AFC might need to talk to her. If you are actively looking for them though, you are just kidding yourself!

Freevoulous · 2012-10-11T14:47:39+00:00

on the other hand, I would say : savor the IOI. Unless you are playning a very fast game aimed at a F-close, you'll be better off delaying your reaction to the IOI a bit.

leodoestheopposite · 2012-10-11T19:02:21+00:00

That's an interesting extreme position. From what I infer from your writing, if a girl is not responding and looks annoyed one ought to take that as an IOI, anything, short of slap in the face or worst has to be considered an IOI.

Without looking for specific IOI, anyone can tell if the other person is pleased or annoyed by the present circumstances. I agree to stop looking for specific details of IOI: dilated pupils, increased breathing, leaning forwards, touching hair on the left side 3/4 of the way up with a reverse-forward motion..... and just feel: is it an awkward moment or is she's into the moment? You can sense that.

Nexus2045 · 2012-10-11T21:01:48+00:00

I would dare to even say to just ignore the thought of IOIs in general.

Maybe my game in general is just bad, but in my last few experiences with separate girls, the so-called IOIs didn't mean SHIT.

First case: got the girl's number, asked her out, tried holding her hand mid-date, she got weirded/creeped out.

Second case: international student talks to me on the bus, exchange numbers, go out that night, lots of kino, end up sleeping in the same bed as her, got creeped out when I touched her face. At that moment, I decided not to do anything further (good thing she wasn't that hot to begin with).

Third case: go out with girl I've seen twice with my buddy, end up driving her home, hugged and kissed her before she left, she sort of got scared.

In all three cases, I had a decent conversation dynamic. Some teasing, humor and some light push-pull. But I know what I was doing wrong - hiding my interest, not escalating properly. The supposed "IOI"s were there all right.

If there's anything I would change, it would be to have flirty, perhaps sexual conversations with lots of humor, and escalate appropriately to make sure she knows you're interested, but not by saying it.

Iforgatmyusername · 2012-10-11T23:34:58+00:00

stfu, you are trying to give advice to people who never get laid. "Assume attraction" what a bunch of bullshit. I give you Pepe le pew http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbGIo01mgo4

stop posting bs seriously. If a woman doesn't want you , she doesn't want you. DO NOT ASSUME ATTRACTION.

Title	NEWBIES: Stop Worrying About IOIs. Seriously.
Author	nycprowl
Upvotes	27
Comments	24
Date	October 11, 2012 3:38 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/11aimz/newbies_stop_worrying_about_iois_seriously/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/newbies-stop-worrying-about-iois-seriously.1340997 https://theredarchive.com/post/1340997

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