I'm 28 and just broke up with my live-in girlfriend of 4 years. Where do I start?

maestroni · 2013-01-20T17:20:26+00:00

Go to the gym, meet as many new people as you possibly can, take a class, find a second job, learn how to ride a unicycle, go to starbucks with a pad of paper and draw things. Literally just go do random things that you would enjoy doing. Don't worry about what anyone else has to say or think about your situation, go live.

justinkimball · 2013-01-20T18:12:11+00:00

Hobbies, do you have any? Ideally something interesting (martial arts, rock climbing, etc).

Build your life up if you haven't already. If you don't have any hobbies (or they all consist of sitting in front of a computer screen by yourself in your underwear), take up one. Something you are willing to put time into to get decent at. Something that gets you out of the house, and doing something.

You need to have a solid, established sense of who you are before you want to consider getting back out there.

Honestly, I'd stay off going out trying to pick up women for a bit, you've just gotten out of a 4 year relationship, you need to find some time to enjoy single life and do all the shit that you never could (or maybe never knew you wanted to).

Okikii · 2013-01-20T20:41:52+00:00

Same story here, I'm 29 and broke up after 5 years in relationships. And it's hard to go back to the club and pick up girls, because you realize that you have become nothing, your relationships degraded you and you feel like piece of shit now. But don't give up, we are on our late twenties not forties!

I can tell you what I am doing for last ~6 months.

Enjoy your single man life.
Read the books. There are lots of good self-education books. Books like "No more Mr.Nice guy", "Book of Pook", "Feeling good" changed my view to life.
Are you watching porn and masturbating? Go to /r/nofap. It's not easy, especially for us single guys, but it is worth it. Challenge yourself and feel the difference.
Travel! If you can't afford travel abroad, then go and see your own country, I believe there are lots of places what to see. In last 6 months I have seen more that in last 10 years.
"Don't buy things, buy EXPERIENCES" - I found this in /r/getmotivated and those are the best words what I ever read. When you will be laying on your death bed, you will give a shit about your material things, but you will appreciate experiences what you obtained in your lifetime. So, don't waste your time on front of the screen, but go out and learn new experiences!
You are the men, go to the gym!
Find the hobby, your passion. I am still working on this part, because all my life consisted from computers, internet, gaming, gadgets and technology. You will not attract woman with this type of hobbies.

ben0wn4g3 · 2013-01-20T22:07:30+00:00

I summed it up to 3 things. Mind, body and spirit.

Mind = Reading / Learning
Body = Running / Gyming / Sports
Spirit = Socialising / Activities

Try and include something that covers all 3 of these each day and you will win at life.

Peace.

SedditorX · 2013-01-20T19:24:00+00:00

Everything the other commenters are going to say (especially hit the gym / p90x). But please start with meditation.

/r/Meditation

Mindfulness in Plain english (http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe.html)

AMerrickanGirl · 2013-01-20T22:01:25+00:00

Head on over to /r/breakups and share your tale of woe.

SuperPoop · 2013-01-20T22:30:51+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SuperPoop · 2013-01-20T21:19:32+00:00

Online dating?

Ben_KickassAcademy · 2013-01-20T22:08:23+00:00

I agree with these comments, such as going to the gym and putting together a cool life with interesting hobbies.

That being said, go buy The Game and go buy Magic Bullets. That's where to start. Find a friend who also wants to meet women and get better with women, and go out with him four nights a week.

Push your comfort zone. Try to follow the advice in those books, even if it makes you uncomfortable. If you dive into it and make it a priority, you will be shocked at how good your results can be.

EducatedHippy · 2013-01-21T00:33:51+00:00

Me too man. This just happened to me like a month ago. I've been reading seddit ever since and it's been a lot of fun getting into "the game", I've met tons of fun new women (and just fun people). Last night, I finally invited one of them back over to my place after our first date. I realize how rusty I am, but my advice to you is try your damn hardest to hide your "rustiness". She asked me if I was a fucking virgin.... :/ But I guess I'm slowly getting my game back if I got that far with her. Also, I joined the Lacrosse team..ha

Sed-Throwaway · 2013-01-21T01:29:04+00:00

Dont be too upset, the top post in Seddit was/is an article about how being a male in late 20s early 30s is great, as there are many females and few successful males.

Take advantage and explore what you were missing out for past few years. :]

aaegler · 2013-01-21T04:03:36+00:00

About a year ago I ended a relationship with my ex (we were together for 8 years, I'm 27). The first thing I did was focus on myself and doing what I wanted to do - I hit the gym, started running, reconnected with many old friends who I hardly saw during the relationship, went to music festivals, bought a new wardrobe, read many books (Power of Now, No More Mr Nice Guy and How to Win Friends & Influence People) started photography and started a new degree.

All this took about a year to achieve, and I only now think I'm ready to get back into properly dating again. I've had 2 brief FWBs since then, but believe me man, work on improving YOU as a person first, and when you feel satisfied with your life and love yourself (in a non arrogant ego-centric way) get back into the game.

craig_hoxton · 2013-01-21T05:41:58+00:00

just got a kiss from the waitress

You're doing it right.

NaughtyAudio · 2013-01-21T07:53:46+00:00

I don't really know the rules about straight up copying and pasting stuff, but sometimes only the wise words of Butters hold the answer; and I quote:

"Well yeah, and I'm sad, but at the same time I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like, it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. And the only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt somethin' really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good, so I guess what I'm feelin' is like a, beautiful sadness. I guess that sounds stupid."

Wiggin_Andrew · 2013-01-21T16:40:30+00:00

GFTOW

Title	I'm 28 and just broke up with my live-in girlfriend of 4 years. Where do I start?
Author	SuperPoop
Upvotes	28
Comments	54
Date	January 20, 2013 4:29 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/16xmt2/im_28_and_just_broke_up_with_my_livein_girlfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-28-and-just-broke-up-with-my-live-in-girlfriend.1346099 https://theredarchive.com/post/1346099

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