How often do you run into rude or unfriendly people?

CompletelyBlunt · 2013-04-09T21:52:09+00:00

Talking to everyone is a great step and you should keep doing that but realize not everyone is going to respond positively to such a social interaction. Some people don't like to talk a lot and others, like the librarian, might be just having a bad day and not want to deal with anyone. Take this idea and understand that not every woman you approach will be receptive to your approach and that's okay because you're outcome independent, so it doesn't affect your mood or state, and that she isn't worth pursuing and move on. Some people are rude and you shouldn't care.

ronmagicjohnson · 2013-04-10T01:22:36+00:00

This doesn't necessarily apply to seduction, but I used to work at a liquor store in a poor, black neighborhood. Some of the customers resented me immediately because I am a white kid from the suburbs selling them alcohol in their neighborhood and therefore have power over them and can prevent them from getting the drug they are addicted to. A lot of my coworkers would get mad at rude customers, often times yelling or trying to abuse their powers and not sell them alcohol. Most of the time, the customers weren't trying to be rude, they just communicate differently than myself or my coworkers did or were unaware of how they were being perceived.

I took it upon myself to be nice to every single customer regardless of how they treated me. I did this for selfish and unselfish reasoning behind this. the unselfish reasoning was that my customers were living pretty miserable lives, they lived in poverty, had to deal with violence in their communities and felt there was nothing they could do to change their conditions. I may have been the only person who was nice to them that day. After I got the reputation for being the nice guy, everyone preferred having me ring them up and I was treated like a pal by some of the customers who were hated by my coworkers because of rude behavior. Sometimes people would be an asshole to me regardless of how nice i treated them, I continued to be nice to them and that only made them look bad in the eyes of the other customers and my coworkers. And finally, I'd give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that would ever I perceived as rude was not intended to be, which was frequently the case.

The selfish reasoning behind my being nice to every customer was that it made my job a lot easier. I would just ignore their bullshit and get the customers moving out of the store as fast as possible. If one of us engaged a customer in a verbal altercation, other customers would get involved and defend each other because they would view that behavior as rude or unjustified. I mean, most of the people who worked at the store were college students, and their presence in that neighborhood was to make money off of generational poverty and alcoholism. Also, the owners refused to hire more than one person from that neighborhood at a time, so the customers were also jealous that we had been hired for a job they couldn't get to earn money we didn't really need.

The point is, it's easier to be kind to everyone. You don't need to take shit from people like I had to while I was at work, but you can stop and think "did i misunderstand their tone? Were they trying to be rude or was that just how i perceived them?" A lot of people unintentionally come off as rude because they're depressed or their lives suck. That thirty year old woman you talked about is a thirty year old woman who works at a library, maybe her life isn't going as well as she had hoped. Maybe her bitchface was a face of sorrow. If you're nice to people like that, you could brighten their day and they'll remember you.

nittutt · 2013-04-09T21:48:06+00:00

Don't react. Don't work through them. You can only be you. If they don't like you, that's their problem.

Do your best to always be positive and polite and then disregard anyone whom does not appreciate it.

KaptainKid · 2013-04-09T21:53:31+00:00

Don't let it trump your positivity. Still do you. Smile and be friendly back, as hard as that is. All it does is help you stay positive, become more positive, and not let others affect your mood.

-colors · 2013-04-09T22:49:30+00:00

smile, people have a really hard time being a bitch to someone who is smiling.

flickin · 2013-04-09T22:58:09+00:00

Go into every conversation like they're going to be just as friendly as you are and if they're ice cold, cut 'em loose and move on.

2013-04-10T00:18:21+00:00

If they are giving you some negative feedback, simply forget them and move on. Not everyone is as open to conversation.

Indigo_Sunset · 2013-04-10T01:35:09+00:00

you just spelled it out for yourself in the first line. Be friendly, start talking, be social. they all flow from one to the other.

keep trying, it all takes some practice and getting used to find that flow and roll with it. i find that stepping outside of yourself in this works for me. you mentioned the librarian, and how it affected you. next time try to come at the same opportunity from their perspective with some empathy. not everyone will be welcoming, but along the way you'll probably meet some interesting people, even if it's just for five minutes.

2013-04-10T02:03:13+00:00

it shouldn't be that hard to related to them, you just need to look beyond your own nose. chances are if someone tried to talk to you in public before seddit you'd be like wtf and have little interest in talking to them. also just because someone is friendly to you doesn't mean they have to be friendly back, so saying someone has a bitchface just because they have no intention of speaking to you is out of order.

when you meet people who don't want to talk to you, just move on and don't get negative or bitter about it, or you're just going to get negative and bitter and ruin your own game.

maybe your new to this, but after a short while you'll get used to it, and focus on who's next rather than who just was

Jaqfrancois · 2013-04-10T06:42:45+00:00

I work in retail and deal with rude people everyday. Best advice is to keep on truckin'

It's their own damn choice if they want to be rude/miserable and you shouldn't let it bother you.

ShamwowTseDung · 2013-04-10T08:21:06+00:00

[deleted]

What is this?

pathein_mathein · 2013-04-10T15:42:26+00:00

Do you know who's a rude and unfriendly person? A kind and friendly person who's having a bad day.

There's something to be said for assuming good intent. Assume that most people are friendly and want to talk to you, at least deep down. There's a lot of friction that gets in the way of that - people thinking that you have an ulterior motive, situational issues (if the librarian was trying to get work X done, and you're the 13th person to ask her a question, she's going to get testy), what's going on in their own head. Especially for a more introverted type of person, if they're deep in thought, it can take time to wake up for social mode. I know that comes off as unfriendly or cold, when it's more just a matter of speed.

While there certainly are those people out there who are unfriendly all the time, I do think they're a lot rarer than you probably now imagine, and particularly shouldn't be reason to modify your own friendliness towards them or anyone else.

Title	How often do you run into rude or unfriendly people?
Author	uberafc
Upvotes	9
Comments	14
Date	April 9, 2013 7:10 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1c0anl/how_often_do_you_run_into_rude_or_unfriendly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-often-do-you-run-into-rude-or-unfriendly.1350289 https://theredarchive.com/post/1350289

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