I'm the one who flakes...

HorseLifer · 2013-04-26T15:59:20+00:00

I had the same sticking point when I first started # closing. Essentially whats happening is your brain gets a good emotional high and validation off the #. At the same time you dont want to ruin your chances by actually contacting the girl... because you believe (consciously or subconsciously) that you will somehow fuck it up with her. This is very subtle and a form of ego protection

The solution? Sack up and contact her. Don't be afraid to fail. You NEED to cultivate the ability to not give a shit if a girl rejects you. Its the only way to learn

NefariousDude · 2013-04-26T14:56:30+00:00

Wow, great advice so far....

This is the smart man's dilemma with game - you are probably thinking too much. There's no baggage to taking a girl out on a date. If it works, great. If not, life goes on. You're committing to nothing. You have absolutely nothing to lose.

You need to know that in fact most dates won't work. She might not dig you the way you want, or you might not like her. But it's still as hell worth a try.

kdelamont · 2013-04-26T18:07:01+00:00

Don't start messing around willy nilly with anti-anxiety meds. I can vouch for their effectiveness as a medical tool, but I would never advise taking them to improve confidence. If you really think you need them, go see a doc and do it the right way. If you're anxious a lot, I definitely recommend that.

I used to be really nervous about asking. If it was asking to hang out, asking what a girl was planning for the weekend, etc. I would get really nervous, too the point where I didn't even want to know the answer.

I still get sorta nervous about it sometimes - asking a girl out is a yes/no proposition, and rejection is never the indended outcome - but I just remind myself that "those who get success in life are the ones who just fucking take it." So i send the text and stop giving a shit.

JuanP_ · 2013-04-27T03:12:29+00:00

First of all, are you interested in the girls? I have a similar problem. When I get their numbers, I feel like I've already succeeded and don't need to spend time with them anymore since in my head I know I can meet hotter and more intelligent girls instead of spending time with the other one. I don't know if you can rely or not, but if you don't wanna date them, you should think about it.

SirGoom · 2013-04-26T18:10:10+00:00

Apply Yourself.

the_brick_attack · 2013-04-26T15:12:05+00:00

Have you thought about talking to someone about anxiety? I mean clinical anxiety. I had the same problem, but in the middle of the night. I would wake up, freaking out about a girl I just took out who I was successful with on multiple occasions. I'd feel smothered and either not call them back because of it, or tell them I couldn't handle a relationship right now, come the next day. I have really, really bad anxiety to the point that I get night terrors at night (funny stories from them). After talking to another guy with anxiety, I realized these anxious thoughts were not reflective of reality.

I would seriously look into it. Responsibility is terrifying when you have anxiety, and every thought comes into your mind at once about why something won't work.

crystal64 · 2013-04-26T16:54:30+00:00

Take very small amounts of anti anxiety medication and dare.

Once you have made some steps with the anxiety medication you will have more confidence to do it without.

Basically helping wheels while you are learning to drive your lil bike.

Get rid of them soon

LifeAquatik · 2013-04-26T14:29:57+00:00

Man up.

NewThoughtsForANewMe · 2013-04-26T14:24:30+00:00

the meek shalt not get laid

Title	I'm the one who flakes...
Author	guy14
Upvotes	30
Comments	19
Date	April 26, 2013 2:22 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1d5ktz/im_the_one_who_flakes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-the-one-who-flakes.1351307 https://theredarchive.com/post/1351307

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