Why are girls more prone to reject guys if said guys approach them when the girl is with a group of friends.

frogma · 2013-07-29T00:42:56+00:00

We all do similar shit. Guys do it, just not as often, because girls don't approach as often.

It's just an ego thing. And can you blame them? They're closer to their friends than they are to you (as a stranger), so they'd rather get approval from their friends.

Try to think about it in terms of a really fat chick walking up to you to openly flirt with you (who's also probably pretty drunk). Your friends are all around you. Are you actually gonna flirt back with her? Probably not. You'll probably still flirt with a girl who's less fat, with a better personality -- or whatever. Still though, keep in mind that this is much more common for girls, so they're probably gonna have a different "standard," and a different way of handling things overall. They're also probably much more emotionally "close" to their friends, so they're already kinda looking for their approval at the outset.

Hell, even though most of my friends don't care much about what I do, I'm still considered the "manwhore" of the group, because my standards for sex are much lower than anyone else's. For guys, that's not too much of an issue, but for girls, it can be a huge issue -- probably just because of gender norms. If guys are expected to approach in the first place, girls who give it up more "easily" are considered "sluts." We generally don't have that burden (at least, not to the same degree), so it's much different for us.

Enriching · 2013-07-28T22:45:45+00:00

They are typically more concerned with their friends than the guy. If any of the friends has any objection whatsoever, the girl stands to lose some of her status within the group (by far more important/vital to girls than guys).

From my experience, when approaching girls in a group, you have to either sweep the entire group off of their feet or isolate the one you're interested in.

Ksanti · 2013-07-29T00:14:40+00:00

It's entirely on how you approach it, but peer pressure is a huge part of it. I can't claim to have any real sort of experience with the game though I enjoy hitting on girls as much as the next guy. My experience may not translate into most normal flirting situations, particularly in the states, but I'll chime in anyway.

Firstly, let's deal with the situation in which it's your fault. If you go in with some players' mentalities of "Ignore everyone but the target" then quite often, if you play it badly, or just act like other people aren't there, then you need to come off as more attractive (as usage of her time) than a group of her friends. If you're not incredibly confident or at least very charismatic and possibly good looking, that's going to be a struggle. You need to bring the rest of the group into your conversation if you can't quite manage drawing her away from her group, and then once you're inside, flirting with you isn't so much betraying her group as much as just hanging out with someone within who they're starting to fancy.

Secondly if it's the girl's fault. Even if you play it perfectly, a lot of the time a girl's group of friends can still be a huge obstacle. If you're using distance to create intrigue (e.g. hanging out with loads of people on a night out, dropping by to the girl being charming, but then leaving the rest of your game for later in the night), you run the risk of a girl or even a random guy who also is trying to hit on her talking crap about you when they talk alone. Even if they don't take the comments seriously, the threat of judgement is a huge factor in people's behaviour which is why it's so effective to go off for a walk with a girl because then it's just you two. If she's very worried about the opinion of a certain member of the group, particularly with beta girls, you absolutely need to get that member's approval (not explicit, it's a matter of impressing them normally) before anything can happen.

Thirdly, it may still be the group. Quite often I've had a lovely night with a group of girls and started to hit it off properly with one of them, only for a fight to break out because another girl in the group grabbed my ass as I walked by. Not much you can do here but conflict will instantly ruin any chances you have with any of the girls unless you're very careful with how you play it. If someone in the group fancies you, no matter how well your chemistry with the girl goes, you can't get anywhere unless you take away any possibility of jealousy of conflict.

TL;DR: Either go full alpha, be charismatic, charming and funny, then get the girl away from the group, or accept you won't be able to draw a girl away from the group and instead engage the entire group, and then once you're in start focusing on the girl as the night progresses and invariably people start pairing off or wandering around on their own.

new_player · 2013-07-29T05:07:35+00:00

[permanently deleted]

rmbarnes · 2013-07-29T13:38:25+00:00

Because they think their friends will be judging them.

nittutt · 2013-07-29T07:49:33+00:00

They get more value from rejecting the man than accepting him, seeing as he has no real value coming into the situation.

YetzirahToAhssiah · 2013-07-29T04:05:47+00:00

I find it easier if you open a few members of the group, then talk to the girl you want more.

You can't make advances that are too overt or too sexual unless she's alone (if you make her want you enough, she'll go elsewhere with you)

rmbarnes · 2013-07-29T13:38:19+00:00

Because they think their friends will be judging them.

2013-07-29T04:33:40+00:00

Chicks are hella judgmental. First one to respond positively to the male attention is a whore. The girl who finds a way to entertain the rest with him is the queen. In groups women are high school.

Title	Why are girls more prone to reject guys if said guys approach them when the girl is with a group of friends.
Author	Caesar2013
Upvotes	40
Comments	24
Date	July 28, 2013 10:30 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1j8mj5/why_are_girls_more_prone_to_reject_guys_if_said/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-are-girls-more-prone-to-reject-guys-if-said.1356004 https://theredarchive.com/post/1356004

Comments