Hey, seddit. Second Field Report here. Brace yourselves, this is really long. But worth it. Parts in bold are things I have learned from seddit.

So a couple months ago, a friend of mine and I made accounts on plentyoffish.com for shits and giggles just to see who could get the craziest date. Fast forward a couple of months, he meets a girl and they start dating. Good for him. I still have nothing, but whatever. Experiment failed. Couple months later I get message from some chick who is easily an 8/10, let’s call her Jane. Would have been a 10 but she had a 2 year old daughter, so it’s hard to find time to meet up and all that. I’ve been reading up on text game at this point and figure this is my moment to practice what I have been reading. Time to put on my game face.

We chat for a bit, pretty tame conversation with the usual “Who are you/what are your hobbies?” talk and we get along pretty well. I tell her I’m leaving the house for a bit and tell her to give me her number. In reality, I’m just sitting on my couch watching TV. She takes the bait, gives me the phone number, we continue to talk via text instead of online. More typical conversation, I decide to push some boundaries and we end up on the topic of sex. Next thing I know, we are discussing sexual fantasies, craziest encounters, stuff like that. As the conversation starts to get real heated, I tell her I have to take off to go to work, talk to you later. I swear to god it was like dangling a carrot in front of the horse. She was practically eating out of my hand. Still not sure how it happened. She sends me a couple more texts, I don’t respond because I’m at work. This drives her nuts. I’m unintentionally ignoring her and she thinks I’m doing it on purpose.

Later that night, I get out of work and text Jane back. We talk for a bit more and make plans to meet up the next day for lunch. We meet up and talk, laughing the whole time. I chose the venue (little diner right near my house, waitresses all know me pretty well because I’m a regular with my work crew, demonstrating social proof). I’m escalating with a ton of kino, lots of legs touching, showing my tattoos so her hands are on me, she’s putting her hand on my forearm while laughing. We had a pretty good time. We part ways after a couple of hours because I have to go to work again. Hug her, tell her it was great, blah blah blah, usual stuff. She texts me about 20 minutes later saying we need to go out again, she hasn’t had that much fun in months. I respond with “We’ll see” and didn’t text her for the rest of the night. Again, at work.

Slow night at work, I take off early (around 8pm or so) and I get home. Roommate (henceforth referred to as Steve) decides he wants to go out tonight (it’s a Wednesday, neither of us have to work in the morning, fuck it) and we get ready. I text Jane saying that my roommate and I are going out for the night and whatever plans she had are canceled, she’s coming with us. She responds saying she can’t, no babysitter. Whatever, I’m going out to wingman Steve again after the wild night that was my first FR and tell her “Ok, your loss.” Outcome independence for the win. We walk to the bar because fuck driving when it’s 1000 feet from your front door. Get to the bar around 9 and we notice the chick Steve was targeting from our previous adventures, we’re gonna call her Ashley. We scope out the situation for a minute and see Ashley is not with the HB7 I was targeting before but with a new chick (gonna call her Kate). I decide I’m not going to pursue because I have Jade that I’m talking to, wanna see where that goes first. Game time.

We ‘white-guy-dance’ our way to the bar, making our grand entrance WAY beyond noticeable. Eyes are on us and people are whistling and cat calling us, including Ashley and Kate. Ashley recognizes us and tries to introduce us to Kate but cannot remember our names. Steve and I feign having our feelings hurt and introduce ourselves. We’re both pretty much in synch with each other at this point. It’s gonna be a good night. We order a drink each and chat it up with Ashley and Kate. After 10 or 15 minutes of general shenanigans, I tap my foot against my roommates to tell him it’s go time. He locks on to Ashley and I lock on to Kate like two cruise missiles. I’m keeping her attention without flirting too hard, just having a good time. We are sitting facing each other at the bar with Ashley’s back to Kate and Steve looking at her facing me. Everything seems to be going beyond smoothly. Steve is doing his thing. I’m distracting Kate. I’m being loud and the center of attention while making random people around us laugh and inviting them into our conversation, including the bartender, Erica. Mission accomplished and we have been at the bar for maybe 45 minutes at this point. Feeling good. And then things take a turn for the interesting.

Steve and I leave the girls at the bar to go have a cigarette so they can gossip or do whatever it is women at bars do. We step outside and as I light my cigarette, I see Jane get out of a cab. Oooooohh, buddy, this is gonna be interesting. I’m supposed to be wingman for Steve but now I have a target of my own. Decision time. While she is paying her cab, I tell Steve that I am going to keep acting as wing, but whatever I do, roll with it. He nods, agrees and we act like nothing happened. Jane sees me and I throw my arms up yelling “HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYY! WELCOME TO THE PARTY!” and she comes over and hugs me. She says she got a last minute babysitter because fuck it, she hasn’t gone out in a while. We smoke and I explain that I am wingman for Steve tonight so I'm not talking to her and she laughs and says okay, we go inside. As we repeat our white-guy-dance from earlier on the way back to the bar, Kate and Ashley are cracking up again. I introduce Jane and we all move to a round table away from the bar.

It’s about 11 at this point and the bar has a tradition of 11pm Shirtless Shots. Everyone who takes off their shirt gets a free shot. My group disrobes, bartender Erica brings us our shots and acknowledges Jane, laughing at the fact that I seem to have the bar gravitating in my general direction tonight, showing more social proof for me. Not only am I fun, but now Jane thinks everyone loves me. Thanks, Erica, awesome bartender with an assist. As we take our shots, I notice Kate eyeballing the shit out of me. This is no bueno. I want to be the best wing for Steve as I can, but I don’t want to ignore Jane either. Decision time. At that moment, like a gift from heaven, I see a guy at the bar alone who is eyeballing Kate something fierce. Time to act. We slam our shots and I yell to the bar that the cool people keep their shirts off and hang out over here as I throw my arm around both ladies and while doing so, make eye contact with random bar guy. He notices me and I slyly wave him over from behind Kate’s back. She has no idea the plan I am setting in motion.

Random bar guy comes over and introduces himself as Frank. I shake his hand, say “Hi, I’m gwright, you must be one of the cool people” and introduce everyone else. We all laugh, put our shirts back and and I have to damn-near pry Steve away from Ashley to get everyone in the same social circle here, don't want Kate to feel like her friend is ignoring her. All is good. I’m still the center of attention at this point as I have a good time and share funny stories of my time as a firefighter to the group. I’m in full blown Alpha Male Mode and I’ve even got a couple of other stragglers at the bar joining us at our table to hear my stories. We are all laughing and Steve is playing along even though he has heard this all before. Frank isn’t getting much attention from Kate at this point who is still all eyes on me. I put my arm around Frank and ask him a couple of simple questions about himself and such so that he is temporarily the center of attention. He mentions he is in school to be an elementary school teacher. Bingo. Kate is now ENTHRALLED with him. Mission accomplished. Now that she is no longer after me, I get Steve’s attention and with some very subtle non-verbal communication and eye movement tell him that I’m gonna take Jane to the dance floor and for him to keep an eye on Frank and Kate to make sure they are hitting it off. He acknowledges and takes the wingman role for Frank at this point.

Jane and I head over the dance area (live band playing, I know the drummer and guitarist, fuck yeah more social proof) and we start to dance a little. After a song or two, she’s grinding on me and we are having a great time. I’m looking up at the table every now and then to make sure no one is in the middle of a crash and burn with their girl. All seems well. Frank is getting a lot of kino in, Steve is keeping an eye on him but still focusing on Ashley. Everything is going smooth and I’m cool as a cucumber.

Last call comes out, we grab one last drink each and Steve and I have a little non-verbal conversation again about him going along with whatever I say. I slam my phone on the table and say that anyone who wants to hang out again needs to put their number in my phone. Ashley, Kate and Frank all do and I ask if anyone is hungry because I’m starving and mention that Steve and I both work in a restaurant and are FANTASTIC cooks so we volunteer to make food if anyone wants to join us for a night cap. In the smoothest move I have seen from him all night, Frank hooks his arm around Kate’s and says that he had a great time but he needs to jet. He leans in and kisses Kate on the cheek and says thanks for the good night and just WALKS AWAY. I swear to god, she damn near needed to change her panties on the spot. Kate looks at Ashley and says “Sorry, girl, you’re on your own tonight, I’m following him” and Ashley says to go for it. Fuck yeah, Frank is getting laid tonight.

Steve, Ashley, Jane and I pay our tabs, and head back to our place. We get there and give the ladies the 2-minute tour and plop them at the breakfast bar. Steve pours drinks for everyone and I grab shit out of the fridge to make breakfast burritos. Steve and I are swapping positions between cooking and focusing out our girls while neither of us are neglecting the conversation. Thank god for being able to talk and cook at the same time. We’re both getting a lot of kino in during our musical chairs dance around the kitchen of who is doing what with a lot of laughing, girls on laps and dancing to some music thanks to Pandora on my phone. We eat and everyone relaxes for a minute. As we are winding down and the food is settling, Ashley grabs Steve’s hands and gives him the doe eyes. I say “Go get her, tiger” and push them towards his room with my foot a la Leonidas in 300 at the bottomless pit. At this point, I’m happier than a pig in shit. I set out to get Steve a girl and I did. Not only that, but met a random at the bar and got him laid too. All while getting more time in with Jane.

Feeling like a boss, Jane and I talk a bit more and she is sitting at the breakfast bar while I am leaning towards her across from it. Our faces are a mere two inches apart as we talk and laugh some more. I’m playing with her hair, she’s rubbing my arm, more kino on top of kino. A slow song comes on my phone and I jump up, grab Jane and put her hands around my neck while telling her we didn’t get a single slow dance all night. She laughs and we dance in circles in my kitchen for a few minutes. While dancing, she comments about my antics at the bar. The conversation went something like this:

Jane: “You were pretty smooth at the bar tonight. Everyone there seemed to love you.”

Me: “I know.”

Jane: “Are you always that smooth? I couldn’t take my eyes off you all night.”

Me: “I know.”

Jane: “Not gonna lie, I’ve wanted to kiss you all night.”

Me: “I know.”

I took control and grabbed her chin and lifted her head up. We kissed for a minute and then next thing I know she is damn-near attacking me. She shoves me against the counter and practically climbs on me and we start furiously making out. After 10 minutes or so, she says we should go to my bedroom. Now things are gonna get complicated. I put my hands on her hips and tell her that as much fun as that sounds, I’m not that kind of guy. I don’t put out on the first date and would like to get to know her better before things escalate to that point, especially because she has a kid and I don’t want to risk doing anything that could hurt her kid. She understands completely and says thanks for being so honest about it but that’s not gonna stop her from mauling me more. We go back to making out for a bit and then things mellow out. I’ve got my arms around her, feeling like a champ because of the night. She’s leaning against me and yawns. I tell her that she should head home because she has a babysitter still at her house and she agrees. I call her a cab and walk her out to it. We kiss again and say goodnight.

As I’m walking back inside smiling from ear-to-ear, Steve and Ashley walk out and she gets in a cab of her own. After a few minutes, Steve comes back inside and we clean up the kitchen while reliving the highlights of the night. He thanks me for being his wingman and we have one last drink at almost 5am before heading to bed.

Epilogue: I woke up the next day with a text from literally EVERYONE that night. Ashley thanking me for a good time, Kate thanking me for introducing her to Frank, Frank thanking me for winging for a random stranger and telling me to let him know when I go out again because he would love to tag along. And Jane thanking me for the best night she’s had in a long time and for my gentlemanly attitude towards her coming on to me. Needless to say: Best. Night. Ever.

tl;dr Met a chick online, hit it off, went to the bar to wingman for roommate, got him and a random guy laid, secured my chances with chick from internet. Good times had by all, OP felt like a champ.

Edit: Holy shitbiscuits this exploded way more than I ever imagined. Thank you all for the positive words and I'm glad I could entertain some of you. I look forward to posting about my further adventures.