Abundance mentality only with girls I'm not super into

RandianHero · 2014-02-24T01:03:51+00:00

When you meet enough women, you'll eventually figure out that there's not "the one" out there so much as there are many "ones". Even with girls you're not particularly interested in, you have the opportunity to experience someone new and grow as a person. So don't look at women like some means to fulfill a part of you that's missing -- you should be a whole person by yourself without anyone else in your life. Look at them more as another traveler in the journey of life: transient, and then gone.

throwuhwey1 · 2014-02-23T23:41:12+00:00

I used to be the same way and ultimately it ended badly with the girls I liked. I'd get super clingy and needy because I felt like interesting girls were hard to come by. One day I looked back on how many girls I have been interested in throughout my life and realized it was more than I had expected. This helped me accept the abundance mindset. There is more than just one girl out there who I could see myself with.

What really drove the abundance mindset home was talking to everyone around me. Now I meet interesting women every day. If I meet a great girl tomorrow and she's not that into me, who cares? I'll meet another great girl the next day who might feel differently.

Pit_Sweat · 2014-02-23T23:48:45+00:00

Yeah of course. Really that's one of the fundamental ideas behind seddit and the seduction community - no one needs help gaming unattractive girls they're not interested in. But as you've already discovered, with practice it does get easier and you'll learn to control yourself better around girls you're interested in.

itsmevichet · 2014-02-24T16:20:47+00:00

Abundance mentality is tied to independence of outcomes.

There is no abundance with outcome dependence.

Part of becoming independent to outcomes is to develop a thick social skin. This is the 1000 approaches, the comfort with rejection that only experience can net you. Those times when you're stumbling over your words with girls you find attractive? You need to keep having those moments and figuring your own rhythm out of them, until you don't have them anymore.

Just remember - for most people, the disappointment of a poor outcome never FULLY goes away. It just becomes less significant, and the fear of those outcomes stop affecting your judgment in the negative direction.

legendoflink3 · 2014-02-24T05:12:51+00:00

I can say I have been this way and im in the zone of changing it. I just try to be conscious about it when it happens. Its easy to naturally forget to stick to your game. So I started off with interactions like texting and talking online. Example: a hot 8.5 solid face nice bum. Met her online and she only responded because I was vulgar. Wasn't rude to her but I came across as I didn't care. She wanted to hang that same night. I was on a so so date. I finished the date and met up with her. That was the bad move, I shouldn't have dropped my night to go see her. I realised my mistake after and I paid for it. I met up with her and her gf. Went to a bar danced a bit but nothing special. She agreed to a real date but eventually backed out. So I stopped talking to her. Eventually she messaged me asking what I was up to. I told her I was on an adventure and left it at that. She basically stayed interested when I learned my lesson. But I stopped pursuing her because I met other girls and lost interest.

spareacct · 2014-02-24T07:35:22+00:00

This is a good realization to have. People in general have different filters around different types of people. One of these is the filter men put up when they are talking to women they find attractive. They will filter out anything that they think might be unattractive or offensive, which ultimately results in them being boring. When talking to women they don't find attractive they don't put the filter up.

Over time the filter disappears as your confidence in talking to attractive women improves. I was at a party a couple weeks ago and talking to a girl that would have made me become needy and approval seeking a few years ago yet without thinking I was being charming and funny around her, and had a great connection going. This was occurring even though I was internally questioning everything I believe about there not being the "perfect girl" out there.

joshsway · 2014-02-24T20:29:57+00:00

This is extremely common, it is one of the biggest mistakes men make in dating: gaming girls based on how much they like them. And yes, you hit the nail on the head: play to win, always.

manectric · 2014-02-24T22:51:20+00:00

Can relate. So true.

671futbol · 2014-02-24T04:36:28+00:00

Granted I didn't get many answers, I did just ask a similar question this past week. Some did help. Good luck, looks like we are on the same boat

Title	Abundance mentality only with girls I'm not super into
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	32
Comments	17
Date	February 23, 2014 10:59 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1yqp6i/abundance_mentality_only_with_girls_im_not_super/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/abundance-mentality-only-with-girls-im-not-super.1366535 https://theredarchive.com/post/1366535

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