What do I do when I'm just not feeling it?

IpickupGrandmothers · 2014-11-21T13:28:54+00:00

It depends on the context.

It's worth exploring why you're not feeling it. "Introversion" can be a great excuse to avoid committing to your word. For example, if you said you were going to do 10 approaches, but when push comes to shove you're like, "nah bro I'm not feeling it", then go do your approaches.

If you're not feeling it because you didn't get a chance to eat and you're dehydrated while working a 12-hour work day, then you're probably better off going home and kicking back. Or maybe not!

Are you not feeling it because you're unwilling to push your comfort zone? Or are you not feeling it because you have a legitimate reason (e.g. health, you genuinely dislike talking to them, other commitments, etc.)?

NeoSamwell · 2014-11-21T09:09:58+00:00

This is called bitch butterflies, my best advise that I've gotten from the pros at SimplePickup is to do something really stupid, one you do something really stupid you'll already feel embarrassed and it'll bring you out of your comfort zone. Do something like push ups, jumping jacks, ect, whatever it takes to lose the bitch butterflies.

Just know that this feeling of anxiety never goes away, it'll always stay no matter how good you are. The difference between a pro and a noob is that a pro knows how to handle his bitch butterflies, he knows that the feeling goes away but will come back another day.

Jaja1990 · 2014-11-21T12:42:35+00:00

Can anyone relate?

It happens to me quite often.

Should I accept my feeling

Yes.

and just stay a bit distanced from others?

Nope: it would be like a guy who wants to get in shape, but refuses to workout because he does not like to sweat.

You have to learn how to be comfortable with your feelings. It's fine to take a break from social situations when you're just tired, but I bet most of the time what holds you back is a subtle fear. Face it until it disappears or at least until it becomes your loyal friend.

How to do it? How to be comfortable in your own skin? It's pretty easy actually: instead of be in the proper mood/way/look/whatever, just be. I'd say “be yourself”, but most of the time “myself” becomes just another abstract ideal of being. Be as you are in the given moment. You don't feel like to talk with people? Do it anyway while being fully present and sincere about yourself!

Vulnerability is scary, but it's also empowering.

wizy57 · 2014-11-21T16:59:57+00:00

I'm not sure if this is what you mean but sometimes friday night rolls around, I've organized some stuff for the night, I'm getting ready and I realize I don't actually feel like going anywhere. I excuse myself from my plans with friends and just chill or try to see if we can do something not too high energy because I know going out won't really be fun.

I've gone for it on days when I wasn't feeling it and it's not great; I don't get anywhere and just going out and feeling like I wasted the opportunity makes me upset.

I'm highly social most times but sometimes I just won't feel like being around people or meeting new people. I've gotten used to it and most of my friends have too.

2014-11-21T14:06:28+00:00

It's probably just asleep. Tap it a few times, if you still can't feel it then go see a doctor.

Flimflamification · 2014-11-21T17:22:44+00:00

Embody how your feeling. Get out of your head and into your body. Ask yourself why are you not feeling it? find something funny and get addicted to a lower level of stimulus. Think of something you find hilarious and start laughing from within. Literally force yourself to laugh even if it feels awkward. The good emotions internally manifest themselves externally and then you will feel it.

theCHAMPdotcom · 2014-11-21T15:34:08+00:00

Same here...I usually bitch out to mainly cause my game will suck.

Need to move past this.

DaygameCoach · 2014-11-21T16:24:45+00:00

Do it anyway; a lot of it is probably approach anxiety.

Not2original · 2014-11-21T22:12:04+00:00

I get this sometimes. When I'm not feeling it or I lose the mood, I sit back and relax and let those around me continue on without me. I may change locations within the bar, go outside a get some air or just sit there really experiencing my surroundings.

Usually that helps me feel out the mood and flow and I can get back into it pretty easily. If not, I finish up what I'm drinking I say my goodbyes to people I have met and go home.

Don't force it because it will make you look desperate or you'll feel awkward and off your game anyway. IMO

wurstbehavior · 2014-11-21T22:33:49+00:00

Everyone has bad days. How fit are you physically? Going to the gym helps you break out of your lethargy. Try walking out of the gym after working up a good pump--feeling like a million bucks and talking to people.

Are you sleeping well? Some of my worst days are preceded by a bad night's sleep.

Are you eating well? Talking to people while hungry never works out well.

thedarkstranger · 2014-11-21T18:27:01+00:00

I don't feign enthusiasm for anything, it makes me feel like a phony. If I'm not feeling it then Im not feeling it.

Title	What do I do when I'm just not feeling it?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	37
Comments	17
Date	November 21, 2014 7:13 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2myqrz/what_do_i_do_when_im_just_not_feeling_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-do-i-do-when-im-just-not-feeling-it.1379954 https://theredarchive.com/post/1379954

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