How do you approach a girl from your social circle?

friendly_capitalist · 2015-01-24T16:17:05+00:00

This is a danger zone

r3cluse · 2015-01-24T15:48:52+00:00

I'd say just banter and flirt with her. If she responds well then try to take her on a date, or isolate her when you and your friends go out.

HitboxOfASnail · 2015-01-24T17:39:59+00:00

Whatever you do, you have to maintain a total frame of "no matter what happens we will still be friends". Like if you fuck her brains out the ngiht before then you all go out as a group, you have to totally just own it like the most regular thing in the world.

PlasticSky · 2015-01-24T16:12:54+00:00

Find a fun activity you think the both of you would enjoy and invite her, and exclusively her and make that obvious. Near a city? Plenty of things to look up. Suburbs? Find some event at a bar which you would both likely enjoy. Obviously not groundbreaking examples but the gist is there.

And to reiterate, if she's genuinely interested anyway, what you do is less likely to matter as long as you make it fun with her.

Queen_ofGreen · 2015-01-24T16:54:05+00:00

The reason this is a danger zone is because if it doesn't work out, imagine how the function of your group of friends will be afterwards. I would only pursue this girl if you think you actually like her, don't try to game one of your friends into a meaningless hookup, unless you're both on the same page. That could still end up bad if one of you develops feelings and the other doesn't. Just be careful. If you like her and you think she likes you, go for it.

As to how.. Just ask her to do something with you or even just mention an activity. See a movie, get a drink, get dinner, or some other activity to open the door to hanging out alone. You could ask her when you're already with her or over the phone. Whatever you're more comfortable with.

2015-01-24T17:32:35+00:00

Come from a frame of discretion, and manage her emotions well after the hook up.

Just pull a secret move, like grab her hand, or rub her leg secretly; if she responds positively, which she should given your situation, it's time to frame the interaction is discreet.

Don't come off as a guy who "kisses & tells", you can frame yourself as someone discreet explicitly also, by telling her "This has to be a secret" after she's agreed through nonverbals or verbally that she's receptive. If she asks, express to her that people talk, and it shouldn't be others business.

Then, it's your job to isolate her to move the interaction forward once you're at an appropriate point. Once this happens, just invite her somewhere quieter, and if she likes you, and you're being congruent/natural with saying it, she'll come with you.

If not, social circle is a bitch to approach in if you're not pretty good at this, too many social ramifications and rejection can be deadly to your reputation. It's a lot of management of, her emotions, both of your reputation, etc.

I've pulled it off that way in the past, got one of my girlfriends that way.

Short answer: It's not worth it most of the time, but it's possible.

lofiharvest · 2015-01-24T18:28:40+00:00

I have had people in my circle of friends that have paired up and ended up getting married. There is always a risk that pursuing someone romantically could alter the dynamic of your friends circle, however if you genuinely dig this girl you owe it to yourself to give it a try. Theres a saying I have which goes "You can't win em' all, but you can't win any if you don't try". Also if you guys are good friends and things don't work out its also very possible for things to return to normal given enough time.

smoochie100 · 2015-01-24T15:51:07+00:00

If you have her number, why not ask her out on a date, just the both of you. Make sure that you indirectly indicate that it is not a normal meeting as friends. If she insists to bring friends, then you know she is not interested. If she is going out with you, proceed as usual ;)

shitsfuckedupalot · 2015-01-24T17:15:21+00:00

With your feet.

EndOfTheUniverse · 2015-01-24T19:11:36+00:00

It can be done. But the risks, the chances of blowing up..... You have to be REALLY comfortable with yourself. You can't run game or be ingenuine, because they know you and your patterns of behaviour, so it really just has to be you being awesome.

That said, paying attention to her, kino & escalate can't go wrong.

Personally I don't go for it, because if on the off chance she wants something more and you don't, then prepare for the motherfucking soap opera that shall become your life.

EDIT: Phrasing.

2015-01-25T01:51:18+00:00

While it might seem incredibly tempting to pursue her, if you value that social circle, and sometimes your sanity, just enjoy her friendship. Be friendly, flirt if you must, but set up that barrier and keep her as a friend.

If she's really that into you, she'll make a more concerted effort and will likely be more attracted to you because girls often want what they can't have.

I've been through this exact situation too many times now and every time in ends in a very hard lesson and a lot of hurt feelings. Friendliness gets confused with IOIs, you start to overthink things because its such a dangerous situation, and it can get awkward trying to determine when you can make that jump from a friend to a real relationship.

It's hard not to envision how great that type of relationship would be due to all the mutual friends, common interests, and in all likeliness similar schedules, but those are just expectations and you can never expect things to go as planned...

Spacemage · 2015-01-24T17:21:36+00:00

Isn't this like sleeping with a co-worker?

Title	How do you approach a girl from your social circle?
Author	Venenarium
Upvotes	34
Comments	25
Date	January 24, 2015 2:51 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2tik6m/how_do_you_approach_a_girl_from_your_social_circle/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-approach-a-girl-from-your-social-circle.1382833 https://theredarchive.com/post/1382833

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