K-closed a Tinder girl on first date, then she never returned a text again and I can't get over it.

and_eazy · 2015-10-12T22:13:01+00:00

I'm 28 M. Over the years I've occasionally found myself on a date with a girl who's league I was way out of, and saw some desperation, thirst, whatever you want to call it (read: I was more attractive than them). Only then did I begin to appreciate how easily you can sense this and how unattractive it is. It helped me improve immensely.

I'm not saying this girl was out of your league, but at the very least SHE thought she was. I'm also not saying you did anything wrong, but maybe there's things you are doing without knowing that are coming off as desperate. When I say they can sense it from a mile away I mean it. If there's so much as a microscopic spec of desperation they will find it like the CSI team and you are finished. You have to act like you have a pair of tens patiently waiting in bed for you at home and you just wanted a little break from the sex to get to know a stranger.

For me it's the most important part of dating.

qourp · 2015-10-12T20:06:35+00:00

If she doesn't respond to your initial text, I'd not recommend texting again, it can communicate a sense of desperation. No matter how awesome she was, you should know from that night out that you have potential to get to know equally great or better women, and maybe it will work out better with one of them.

The way your text is worded does not necessarily sound needy, but in the context, you're still asking her for affirmation, I hate to say it but it probably sealed your fate if she hadn't made up her mind already.

Just continue to work on yourself, do interesting things, and let it flow from there. You're doing way better than many guys, don't gt down on yourself.

fire_bent · 2015-10-12T18:08:05+00:00

You guys are being played for free drinks and a night out. My thoughts.

IANAPUA_Yet · 2015-10-12T22:20:04+00:00

I'm putting myself in a spiral of self-loathing

Stop doing that. You'll drive yourself insane if you take every misfire as a personal failing. It doesn't matter what the status of your dating life is, ya gotta love yourself unconditionally. See a therapist if you need help with that.

Spaceman7Spiff · 2015-10-12T23:11:37+00:00

Lots of good advice here. But if you're like me, you will drive yourself batshit crazy trying to find a solution to being flaked on, rejected, ignored, etc. So, that being said, my advice is to keep in mind that more often than not, this is just a part of the game, it happens to LITERALLY EVERYONE more often than we'd care to admit. I know it sucks but IMO the best thing you can do for your sanity is just shrug and say "bitches be cray"

2015-10-12T21:52:13+00:00

Ive had several dates with kiss closes that amounted to nothing. Just move on - abundance mentality.

BoberJr · 2015-10-12T20:00:37+00:00

Fuck her . move on

Rayjaysdick · 2015-10-12T17:58:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2015-10-13T05:00:58+00:00

"hey if I'm barking up the wrong tree, you can totally tell me"

you know you've already lost her before you even sent that message.

pacg · 2015-10-13T07:09:28+00:00

I'm an advocate for calling a gal back instead of texting which, I keep insisting is an inferior form of communication. At least if you call her back you stand a better chance of getting her back into frame. Besides, you said you'd call her back, not text her back.

PM_ME_4_COKE_HOOKUP · 2015-10-12T22:37:25+00:00

I've come to the conclusion that online dating is hell. It's the nature of the beast. You can't catch feelings. Even if you want to. It's a game of who cares the least.

I'm trying to quit. That's not the person I want to be.

xpletive · 2015-10-13T02:22:02+00:00

You have to understand some of these specimens are on tinder just "testing the waters", and may either be in relationships or seeing other guys. She wasn't looking for someone to date, just a boost in her self esteem. You gave her what she desired, attention. You chasing her after the fact disqualified you for good. Move on.

2015-10-13T03:00:37+00:00

This happened to me MULTIPLE times, even after I ended up having sex with them. It might even be happening to me now with a girl I met on Tinder that I really liked and had a good time with. It sucks, especially since she responded pretty enthusiastically after the first date and now setting up the second is a hassle which is confusing.

My advice is to just keep reminding yourself how many girls there are on Tinder. Helped me before.

WayOfTheGentleman · 2015-10-13T06:44:29+00:00

It's hard to say what's going on. I'd need to ask you more questions about what was said, what the vibe was like, how she was reacting to you, etc to know for sure.

My guess is that you're coming across more as the friend than the lover, a very common problem.

I wrote a blog post on this only a couple of days back that may help you:

http://www.wayofthegentleman.net/how-to-escape-the-friend-zone/

txroller · 2015-10-13T12:58:04+00:00

I've had a few dates like this. I've even paid for a few things. Some girls will tell you what you want to hear but really not be serious about hooking up. It sounds mean but it is a coping mechanism. THey play nice with no intention of taking it further. keep on meeting girls they aren't all like this.

Also, go over your Tinder profile. REview the date. Did she say anything like: I didn't realize... or you sound/look different then your profile? even if she said it in a nice way. Sometimes the sound of a guys voice will turn a girl off. You may want to call the next girl first before investing in a face to face if you think that might be an issue. Check your hygiene and your clothing choices. 1st impressions are everything

teachmehowtodoggy · 2015-10-13T03:12:42+00:00

What's k close? You kissed her? Bruh the only problem u made was respecting her too much and not being more persistent in getting in her pants that night. These women on tinder have no idea what they want 99% of the time so I wouldn't think too hard about it.

Title	K-closed a Tinder girl on first date, then she never returned a text again and I can't get over it.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	32
Comments	52
Date	October 12, 2015 5:52 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3oh7kx/kclosed_a_tinder_girl_on_first_date_then_she/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/k-closed-a-tinder-girl-on-first-date-then-she.1395818 https://theredarchive.com/post/1395818

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