How to Handle other "Alphas"

Meterus · 2014-05-27T19:30:14+00:00

"Are you gay?" "Are you asking, or offering?"

heist_of_saint_graft · 2014-05-27T20:08:23+00:00

Destroy the guy with indifference. Hold your shoulders square, head level -- he's shorter than you, don't even move your eyes down to look at him.

When he makes a bitchy remark, an amused smile and a "get a load of this guy" look to the rest of the group will do more than any snappy comeback.

When he tries to push you around, you make him a figure of fun. Cultivate an "Us vs. Him" mentality with the rest of the group -- look at videos of how comedians destroy hecklers by getting the crowd against the heckler. He's spoiling everyone's good time, right?

megatron37 · 2014-05-27T19:36:23+00:00

I hate guys like this. What's worked for me before is to act like these guys are cranky 10 year olds. I say "what's the matter lil buddy, having a bad day?"

Double points if the dude is short.

Adach · 2014-05-27T15:00:40+00:00

Sounds like more of an asshole than an alpha

theycallme1 · 2014-05-28T01:36:16+00:00

(Are you gay) You didn't respond with "are you an elf?"

Or (Go get wood) "Keebler, why don't you climb up in your tree and bake me some fucking cookies"

MaccabeeWarrior · 2014-05-27T15:50:54+00:00

Piss on him. Assert your dominance.

CheekyChipmunk · 2014-05-27T15:19:25+00:00

Way to keep your head cool man, that's not being an alpha, he's being a dick.

harkrank · 2014-05-27T22:51:24+00:00

He was not another alpha, he was 100% beta. He was even shit testing you like a woman would.

You handled the situation well, most importantly to girls this kind of beta insecurity is really obvious.

stillnoturday · 2014-05-27T15:13:24+00:00

Nothing more obvious than a beta trying to be alpha, he had insecurities you should of exploited them.

captainbloodd · 2014-05-27T22:22:17+00:00

Guy asks if you're gay, best response is:

"Dude, are you hitting on me?" Then laugh at any response he gives. Rib him for the rest of the night about him being gay and hitting on you. Call him "princess". He'll get pissed and lose frame. Laugh at him some more when that happens.

He may want to fight. Just tell him it's not your fault that he's upset about being a decadent faggot.

If he tries to hit you, beat his ass.

HumanSockPuppet · 2014-05-28T08:04:48+00:00

In a social setting, it is appropriate to deflect rudeness the first few times with a joke, just to keep the tone of the party light-hearted.

However, if he continues pushing, and he's obviously making the other party-goers uncomfortable, then it is appropriate to call him out on it directly. Ask him what's making him feel insecure, etc. It all depends on the mood of the room.

A good party-goer speaks and acts with the feelings of the group at heart, keeps everyone feeling good. Don't fight him. Just make everyone else feel good, and they'll shut him out.

TurnDownForWhat · 2014-05-27T14:48:34+00:00

Jeer that fucker! Just be sure to be subtle about it.

[deleted] · 2014-05-27T15:21:34+00:00

Use humor more importantly don't hang with him.

Kiwikeeper · 2014-05-27T22:56:13+00:00

I know a similar guy. I can't add much to what others told you, but I can share a story. We were outside a pub, two girls, me and him. He was busy saying how fucking clever he is compared to "normal" people and the like. At a certain point he looks at me and goes :"you have the face of a guy that never fucks. Right girls?" I just looked at them and raised an eyebrow. One of the girls remained silent(she's a good friend of mine) and the other looked at me and then told him:" actually...no." With a "I'd fuck him sensless" tone. The dude just went away. TL;DR : let others assert your social value, don't diy.

Modified_Hackware · 2014-05-28T02:04:04+00:00

Napoleon complex? How short was he?

FortunateBum · 2014-05-28T16:39:05+00:00

Let the little guy have his fun. You'll be fucking all the girls later anyway.

[deleted] · 2014-05-28T02:15:37+00:00

[permanently deleted]

gt35r · 2014-05-27T15:58:23+00:00

I honestly would have just walked away and not even tried to be a part of that whole situation. I'm not saying it's always the best thing to do, but why even waste your time around that type of person. For only them being there you handled it fine since you were somewhat stuck around them. I would have probably gone and sat on a couch or looked for a dog to play with.

DevilishRogue · 2014-05-27T20:07:38+00:00

This isn't really TRP stuff. If you want to read up on AMOGing Google will provide plenty of advice for you.

Walktillyoucrawl · 2014-05-27T15:30:46+00:00

Ignore them.

mrust · 2014-05-27T15:00:08+00:00

Frame is everything. You seem to have handled it well, though you didn't give much detail about the type of joke you responded with.

You could have worked the Napoleon angle. He tells you to put firewood in the fire, you just casually remark: "Wow he's a bit of a dictator isn't he?"

If he continues just ask him "Overcompensate much?"

Everytime he does something like this to someone else, make a remark:

"So ALPHA!"

You had the tools you needed - best way to win is to use the truth to your advantage.

niftykettles · 2014-05-27T16:17:37+00:00

Should of used this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hb_Y5cRtji4

rangamatchstick · 2014-05-27T15:11:42+00:00

Be alpha together, done start agreeing with everything he says or does but pair up. Just not with this guy, hes "alpha" but hes a dick head alpha, ignore him, dont care about him.

john-b · 2014-05-27T19:05:30+00:00

Damn, maybe he's taking the roids.

pleasedontknowme30 · 2014-05-27T19:32:08+00:00

wtf. First off, if someone who I have never met asks if I am gay for the first time trying to introduce themselves, the last thing I am making is a fucking joke to them. I would call them out with "what the fuck did you say?" or "why, you got a problem with gay guys?". Showing someone they are homophobic in public I think is as humiliating as anything. The guy doesn't sound like alpha, he sounds like an asshole, and asshole != alpha.

TehFuggernaut · 2014-05-27T16:15:10+00:00

Bullet #2: No I am not, sorry to let you down. Or I can be as gay as you want me to be but I prefer the company of girls.

Bullet #3: I think this all comes down to how well you keep girls interested. Him ignoring you is w/e.

Bullet #4: Just ignore. You came off as a prissy bitch. Sometimes the best action is to not be witty. Being witty shows that you are a tryhard and to guys that is not alpha.

[deleted] · 2014-05-27T15:59:53+00:00

I'd say "dude you gotta a problem with me let's rumble "

How to Handle other "Alphas"

Comments

3 - I asked him a direct question. The guy was just rude, and honestly I had 0 interest in speaking to the girls.

4 - He saw me single handedly carry the keg to the backyard. I think the guy was just intimidated that a guy looks like he lifts was there, while also standing 5 inches taller than him.

Title	How to Handle other "Alphas"
Author	TehFuggernaut
Upvotes	23
Comments	55
Date	May 27, 2014 2:43 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/26lx2x/how_to_handle_other_alphas/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-handle-other-alphas.140008 https://theredarchive.com/post/140008