40 plus wife here, I am curious if any of you could help me?

mojo_magnifico · 2016-02-17T20:14:48+00:00

What's with these lame comments?

"Communicate your feelings, talk about it!"

See ya later, boner.

Listen lady, hit the gym and put a thong on. Next time he's just watching TV or something start sucking his dick without him asking. Good luck

EDIT: Thank you for rewarding my crassness.

Misty31 · 2016-02-17T17:30:18+00:00

R/sex or r/relationships might be a better place for the best advice regarding this situation.

Do you know why this is happening? Is he stressed at work?

lax123123 · 2016-02-17T19:06:44+00:00

Pretend like you are dating again. Just like when you first started seeing each other. Go on dates and have fun, flirt with him.

Miercolesian · 2016-02-17T22:32:54+00:00

Tell him that you would like to have lesbian sex with a woman and have him watch you fuck her. This is guaranteed to work.

Morphion · 2016-02-17T20:47:44+00:00

He's getting old. Get a testosterone test. Low testosterone = low sex drive. This is very common when getting older.

2udaylatif · 2016-02-17T20:06:16+00:00

try r/sex

JellySausage · 2016-02-18T10:33:49+00:00

Why do you think he's no longer interested?

Have you become less attractive? Is there something you could do to be more attractive?

What is your sex usually like, do you actively take part, explore boundaries, get kinky etc?

fireball121 · 2016-02-17T18:27:55+00:00

Are the two of you stagnant in your daily lives? Still perusing goals and personal or joint endeavors?

I was in an ltr and felt this from her. The short answer was to re-court each other in a sense. Dates, activities, hobbies. Complacency was the real enemy.

puabookworm · 2016-02-17T20:05:09+00:00

Why would he get irritated at you trying to seduce him?

Why isn't he interested in sex as much as he used to be?

Have you talked to him about this at all?

flymolo5 · 2016-02-17T20:16:58+00:00

As a guy in his 20's it's kinda hard for me to empathize completely. From my (and assuming most of these guys here, also guys in late teens through early 30's) perspective it's not something we would have tons of experience with. I agree with others here that r/sex or r/relationships might be the best option for this post to be helpful. also r/deadbedrooms is a fantastic resource for this very problem.

From a 20 something year-old's perspective, his porn use isn't really the problem, it's a symptom, though it might not be helping things. My kneejerk response (keeping in mind I dont have a great perspective here) is that after XX years of marriage not only has the sex gotten stale, but also attractiveness can start to suffer on both ends. Shore those up by putting in lots of extra effort in bed and also by eating healthier and hitting the gym. By extra effort in bed I mean dont be lazy, not act like a porn star. Making yourself more attractive by improving yourself will never result in less sexytimes.

Terakahn · 2016-02-17T20:57:40+00:00

How long have you been married?

etaipo · 2016-02-20T10:22:24+00:00

I scrolled down and didn't see anyone mention r/deadbedrooms. There are a lot of horror stories and success stories. Pretty sure they can help you out

2016-02-17T17:59:58+00:00

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TRPboys · 2016-02-17T19:10:25+00:00

Would you say you put more effort into:

A) This post

B) Your sex life

To be serious, its almost impossible to help you from what you wrote. A wild guess is that he is not irritated because of you trying to have sex, its probably something else.

Im shooting in the dark but i would advice you to try to be submissive to him, make sure he gets his way for a while and try to set him up to be happy without asking anything in return. Most men think feminine and submissive girls are sexy, porn has alot of it. If you want something sexual i would start with blowing him.

2016-02-17T18:41:14+00:00

Talk to him about it. If you can't talk to him about it. Or he won't open up, you'll never know WHY he doesn't respond to you. And you definitely won't know how to seduce him into bed again.

I see by you post history that you have had issues with this for months. Even that he "needs" porn to get aroused.

It's super important you don't get him on the defensive here. IT might be deep issues he has with sex in the first place. Or it might be something you do, or don't do, that's the issue. Maybe he's bored? Have you gained weight lately? Has he?

Losing libido in your 40s ain't uncommon. Many women complain about this. Maybe read up on sex advice in /r/sex and see if you can make him interested again......

BUT: Do this together for gods sake. Try to be understanding, and try to make him understand you.

Communicate.

ztsmart · 2016-02-17T20:08:49+00:00

Make him slightly worried about losing you. Make him miss you by spending time with your friends/whatever. Once he notices you are not around, he will start wondering why. This should make him chase you. Don't overdo it though.

baguette180 · 2016-02-17T18:40:02+00:00

How long has this been happening? Maybe he is just tired or going to get sick. Maybe he is getting old? Cardio increases lebedo.

Idk you can learn to like dance sexy or something or make eye contact and flirt. Sorry if this wasn't that helpful.

Penguin154 · 2016-02-17T21:42:32+00:00

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michaltee · 2016-02-17T23:47:50+00:00

Be aggressive about what you want. Put some sexy ass clothes on. When he's in the kitchen, grab his dick and see what he does. Surprise him and hop in the shower with him. Try new positions, new toys, new places.

RonaldMex · 2016-02-17T21:50:09+00:00

Did you have a long streak of shooting him down previously? If so thats your problem, trust me....

flymolo5 · 2016-02-17T19:40:34+00:00

Are you ugly? Thats probably why.

Title	40 plus wife here, I am curious if any of you could help me?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	39
Comments	41
Date	February 17, 2016 5:19 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/469rst/40_plus_wife_here_i_am_curious_if_any_of_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/40-plus-wife-here-i-am-curious-if-any-of-you-could.1402632 https://theredarchive.com/post/1402632

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