This helped me out a lot a while back, felt it deserved a repost. "Nice guys, Listen up"

this1 · 2016-03-03T17:51:35+00:00

Okay, that's all great and all, but how about some pointers on how to fix it.

Hell even to this day I still see a bit of some of those issues in myself. It's going great with my current girlfriend, but fuck I don't want to end up feeling like the asshole he described in the first paragraph if this doesn't work out.

I do a great job of saying what I want, and of course not being the over the top eager to please type. But if there's ways I can be better, I'm happy to read them.

gello1313 · 2016-03-03T16:38:44+00:00

Damn this was great. I was just in a 2 years relationship. About halfway through my insecurities and jealousy fully showed. We stopped have sex and I became angry and irritated. We ended up fighting a lot and the intimacy 100% disappeared. I was Constantly afraid she would cheat on me I always wondering either to myself or aloud who she was texting.

And guess what happened? She told me about a month ago that she got drunk at a bar and made out with somebody. I was fucking heartbroken but for some reason I had a feeling it was coming. It was like a self fulfilling prophecy. Now she thinks she's a lesbian and now that she is drinking age she "wants to try girls for a while".

mimunto · 2016-03-03T23:38:10+00:00

It is astounding how so many assholes in here love to attack men who are being taken advantage of and live an unfulfilled life filled with emotional and sexual rejection. Does that make you feel better? Is that the reason? Few of you would mock a woman if she were treated in a similar fashion. Instead, you would either deny or make apologies for behavior that would never be acceptable from a man. You talk about removing the woman from the pedestal, yet place her on top of a monument of moral superiority. You're all hypocrites.

I was a nice guy. I weren't just nice to attractive girls but to everyone. Yet only the girls I tried to date would abuse it. No, it wasn't just because I only dated a minority of cunts. I was insecure in person, but skilled at online dating and got dates with most girls I wrote after I had sorted away the too self-centered profiles. I went on a lot first date. Rarely a second one though. If I bought a guy a beer or did something for him, he would say thanks and return the favor. A girl would usually expect me to pay her dinner with zero appreciation. If a guy shared a problem with me, he would also listen to me just as genuinely as I had. Girls, however, would again and again talk about all sorts of shit in their life and I would (back then) listen with real interest. However, if I shared any unpleasant experience with her - perhaps because she might have asked about it - they would become annoyed immediately. Yes, they did it because they saw weakness, but few guys would treat a weak dude in a similar way. If he did, we would rightfully call him a dick for it.

Yes, I did believe that if you treat people nice, then they will also treat you nice, but how is that immoral!? It doesn't mean I or other genuinely nice guys only did it to gain recognition, but even if that were the case then so what? It's still a philosophy that makes the world a better place. Look around! Which societies are prospering? Is it really the ones with all the alpha males? No, those countries are mostly quite shit.

Some nice guys might be assholes, but you can't assume all the unwarranted shit that OP and other people write. It is also perfectly natural to go through a transition phase of utter bitterness when you have been lied to and experienced a shitload of confusion, rejection and frustration year after year after year. Don't mock them for it. Show some fucking compassion and help them through it.

Note: I'm not saying all women takes advantage of insecure men, but the majority of the good-looking ones will. They probably suffer from the same condition as the "little emperors" I met in China. Being spoiled will make you self-centered, except to those who refuse to take your crap.

blondedre3000 · 2016-03-03T22:40:51+00:00

This should all be painfully obvious, but unfortunately for most guys, it isn't.

lost-in-woods · 2016-03-03T22:19:47+00:00

There is a great book on the subject, No More Mr. Nice Guy.

bravesaint · 2016-03-04T00:02:40+00:00

Classic! Great post.

Good-Hearted · 2016-03-04T13:19:56+00:00

in a nutshell, read no more mr nice guy

Johnnyjo84 · 2016-03-04T13:27:10+00:00

Ok advice

MartMillz · 2016-03-04T15:09:02+00:00

This is good, I have nice guy tendencies but I was never a big whiner or clingy in that respect.

The end hit home because, I'm not sure I really "like" myself, because of problems I am successfully working on fixing. Anyway, it's amazing how insecurities creep out and push people away.

It's like people want to give you love freely and you're just repeatedly asking them "Are you sure you want to do this? Are you sure you want to like me? I don't think I would give me love if I were you."

rkt3dZu · 2016-03-05T02:58:32+00:00

I'm late

Page not found!

If you're looking for an image, then it's probably been deleted or may not have existed at all. Head back to the place you came and continue browsing; there's nothing more to see here.

enkae7317 · 2016-03-04T02:47:14+00:00

Had to make sure I wasn't in /r/4chan for a second there.

CoCo26 · 2016-03-04T12:33:03+00:00

Title	This helped me out a lot a while back, felt it deserved a repost. "Nice guys, Listen up"
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	557
Comments	51
Date	March 3, 2016 3:36 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/48sgyz/this_helped_me_out_a_lot_a_while_back_felt_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/this-helped-me-out-a-lot-a-while-back-felt-it.1403479 https://theredarchive.com/post/1403479

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