In your experience, what behaviors separate a guy women want to fuck/date from a guy they just want to be friends with?

eviiil · 2016-04-09T14:55:31+00:00

Communicating assertively
Having standards and boundaries for her behavior
Does not drop his own wants and needs solely for a shot at pussy
Zero fear of escalating, feels entitled and assumptive about it
Allows himself to become subtly horny when he's talking to a hot woman, instead of suppressing it.
Takes the lead in he seduction process and in bed.

jewfro667 · 2016-04-09T20:53:20+00:00

[permanently deleted]

MARSpu · 2016-04-10T04:36:55+00:00

Behaviors that trigger attraction(there are a few universal ones) in women. And no, I don't just mean "being attractive."

LoveSystems has a few pinned down:

LOOKS AND HEALTH

For every woman who says looks don’t matter, they do. Looks don’t matter as much for most women as for most men, but they matter. Make the most of your looks. Any guy can become plausibly good-looking enough to be with beautiful women with a trip to the mall and a fashionable haircut. Being good-looking as a man is much more about fashion and grooming than what you look like with your shirt off. Read the fashion chapter in Magic Bullets or download this audio guide (first 10 mins free). Also check out this fashion article I wrote a few year ago.

The health component is simple, and comes from our instinctive biological responses (we don’t want to be around unhealthy people, for good reasons). Don’t talk about being sick. Don’t talk about being sick before. Exotic sports injuries are fine, showing her you have an active lifestyle is usually good, and most of the ‘health’ part of the looks and health attraction switch is common sense.

SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE

Most dating coaches try to gloss over this part, but it’s really hard to be amazing with women 1-1 and socially awkward around everyone else. But that’s what a lot of socially awkward guys do – they assume the problem is with their interactions with beautiful women as opposed to a personality trait that they should (and easily can) fix.

Social intelligence means not being awkward, being able to get things done in the world (like talk your way into a sold out show, or get a great table at a restaurant), and making her feel comfortable with your leadership. For more on social intelligence, check out this interview – I did that one myself!

HUMOR

It’s not a newsflash that women like men with a sense of humor. (Why this is the case is pretty interesting and I go into detail on this in the Magic Bullets Handbook). So I’ll focus instead on one major pitfall – a lot of men try to use the same type of humor over and over. Like everything is self-deprecating, or everything is sarcastic, or everything is misinterpretation. That gets old, quickly. Vary your humor.

Love Systems is fortunate to have some professional stand up comedians among our past and present instructor crew. Learn from their insights and how to improve your sense of humor on this interview or this interview or this article.

SOCIAL STATUS

Most women instinctively want to be with the King instead of the peasant. This is why women love celebrities, or anyone on a stage or anyone who has been on television. It all comes down to social status. If you don’t have high status in the world at large, fix this problem and/or make the job easier for yourself by building relative social status. You may not be king of the world, but you can a legend at your local bar where everyone knows you. Any women who come in will see you as high-status.

The ultimate solution to social status is Mr M and Braddock’s video course, Social Circle Mastery

WEALTH

Yup, here it is. Money is not completely irrelevant to attracting women. But the attraction switch is not based on a bank balance, it’s based on how your wealth (or lack thereof) makes her feel. For most women, having wealth is about your shit together. Can you pay to take her out on a date without moaning? Do you have a nice car and place to live? Etc. For many women, wealth is connected to ambition. It’s totally fine to be a law student with big loans and not a lot of income, because she will still consider you to be wealthy. And for most women, wealth can be connected to excitement, and the social status and social intuition attraction switches. Wealthy men (and their dates) have access to things others don’t.

For more on money and dating, check out this article in the LoveSystems.com dating advice archive.

CONFIDENCE

Confidence – as well as the last two attraction switches we’re about to get to – is a little bit different. There’s nothing inherently attractive about confidence. Women like confident men because confident men often have other things she wants (personality, success, the other attraction switches, etc.). Just like you might not find something inherently sexy about a woman’s 34DD bra, but if you knew that was a woman had in closet, you might be interested because of what else it implies about her.

Generally, men who are attractive, healthy, have good social intelligence and a good sense of humor, and have attributes of status and/or wealth are also confident. It’s easy to see men who are confident vs. men who are not (though Love Systems resources can help you “fake it til you make it”)

A lot of confidence – both projecting confidence and getting yourself to feel confident – comes from body language. The ultimate resource here is the Beyond Words Body Language Home Study Course.

PRE-SELECTION

Just like confidence, if a man is really “all that” and makes a woman feel attracted, then presumably other women have been and are interested in him too. If other women don’t seem to be interested in him, then that raises a red flag. Most women at least subconsciously look at other women’s signals, and few women aspire to be the Warren Buffet of dating, finding value in places where other people overlook.

Pre-selection is a very rich Love Systems topic, with a ton of resources. Some of the best are this interview and this article. Pre-selection also fits in with jealousy, which can be a big attraction booster.

CONGRUENCE

Congruence is the final “outcome” attraction switch. If you’ve ever heard a woman say she was interested in a guy but that something didn’t feel right, often this is because of lack of congruence.

Congruence basically means that everything “adds up”. For example, let’s say a woman gives you her phone number, because she thinks you’ve got all of these attraction switches and good qualities. And then you walk over to your friends and high-five them like you just won the lottery. That’s incongruent. The type of man who has all of these qualities doesn’t high-five when he gets a woman’s number.

Or, you say you’re doctor and you have all these cool stories, but you drive a beat-up car. (You can come off as incongruent without lying…you might genuinely be a doctor and drive a beat up car, and she will still lose more attraction than if you were, say, a student and drove a beat up car).

recyclablebanthas · 2016-04-09T17:32:46+00:00

So I asked her this question about what separates a guy she wants to fuck from a guy she just wants to be friends with. For her it was more about conversation skills which is very broad.

Look, asking someone this question, the quality of the answer is going to vary depending on their level of self-awareness and insight.

I can almost guarantee that the reason she wasn't interested in you didn't really have to do with "conversation skills."

You could have been a master orator and still gotten nowhere.

Now what behaviors have you guys noticed separates the guys women want to fuck or date from those they don't? Aside from being attractive.

Being "attractive" is not really what you might think it is. To a degree, appearance can matter. But it's unclear just how much.

Confidence seems to be the great equalizer, in my experience. I've seen guys with all sorts of advantages, blow themselves out due to lack of confidence. Even with girls who were initially very interested in them due to their appearance or money, etc.

And I've seen guys that everyone thought were unattractive physically, attract girls and game girls in unexpected ways.

DirkDieGurke · 2016-04-09T18:19:23+00:00

If you're conversation never leads to, "You look pretty hot tonight/today" then you're not escalating and you never push it past the friend zone.

Stop and think about your conversations. To go beyond the friend zone you must be touching on topics about their eyes, hair, looks, kissing, etc.

Basically, if you're not flirting, that's why.

RobbyFeelsGood · 2016-04-10T08:20:57+00:00

Guys who get "friendzoned" are the guys who are too scared to hold a girls hand crossing the street or pick her up and spin her around... there's no "sexual inuendo."

Snazzy_Serval · 2016-04-09T15:48:53+00:00

Rules # 1 and 2.

Title	In your experience, what behaviors separate a guy women want to fuck/date from a guy they just want to be friends with?
Author	jewfro667
Upvotes	5
Comments	15
Date	April 9, 2016 2:28 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4e1frz/in_your_experience_what_behaviors_separate_a_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/in-your-experience-what-behaviors-separate-a-guy.1405142 https://theredarchive.com/post/1405142

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