How do you deal with crippling loneliness?

fatlace · 2016-10-06T15:09:47+00:00

A relationship wont take you out of depression. You need to change yourself first. If you get a girlfriend there will be a lot of expectations for your girlfriend to fix your depression. It will take a toll on her. Go workout, eat healthier, obtain platonic friends and enjoy life. Defest depression and become someone that people love being around, then obtain a girlfriend.

mutemantis · 2016-10-06T14:37:22+00:00

i use to be where you are at. i know its going to sound like stuff you already know, or maybe it doesn't seem like its going to help, but ultimately what worked for me was finding other things to take my mind off it. Get some hobbies like drawing or playing an instrument, go to the gym, learn some new skills like cooking. Eventually all of these things will go on to give you things to talk about, or impress girls with.

and put yourself out there after you have worked on yourself a bit. Use tinder, okcupid and the billion other matchmaking sites. It'll take a while to strain through the flakes, and meet up with people , but even if you don't exactly like the chick, see it as a step towards improving your social skills.

happiness comes from within, and won't come from meeting or finding the "one"

subarufan0 · 2016-10-06T14:29:44+00:00

I've also come to realize that most women have a support system when anything bad happens to them but guys are supposed to suck it up...hence the depression and loneliness.

Overnight_Delivery · 2016-10-06T14:23:28+00:00

You should keep in mind what you're asking for is a pretty big thing and not something that you want to rush in to.

jazz835 · 2016-10-06T16:43:01+00:00

you need to get a social life outside of a significant other. having friends, family are seperate from a GF.

work on those things, and people will feel more attracted to you, and you'll have better success forming more intimate relationships. you can never have too many friends.

ExistentialAllegory · 2016-10-07T00:10:58+00:00

Workout, get a hobby, make friends.

confidantlee · 2016-10-07T03:05:33+00:00

"You must learn to love yourself before you can start loving others."

Be comfortable being alone because if you don't, you will end up looking needy.

Forget about the idea that you need someone to fill that loneliness. Fill it up yourself.

Focus on physical, mental, or spiritual growth.

are_those_real · 2016-10-07T15:21:10+00:00

Having been in this situation and still kind of there I can tell you that a relationship won't fix it fully and sometimes it can even break the relationship.

First focus on creating a support system of friends and family. People who you can be open to and be comfortable with. This is great practice when you do get into a relationship being able to be honest with someone. But when you do get into one don't ignore your structure, keep it alive.

second. Start occupying your time with stuff you enjoy. Hobbies, passions, etc... If it's group related start a group or join one. You're more likely to meet someone this way.

Third. Start putting yourself out there. The more you put yourself out there the higher the chance that you'll find somebody. Each rejection isn't bad, it means you're filtering out the people you shouldn't be with because you want somebody who is attracted to you and wants to give you a chance.

Fourth. Seek help if necessary. Talking it out with a therapist can help a lot. Your views need to be worked on and made healthy. You don't want to bring negative views into a relationship otherwise you'll go from relationship to relationship.

Bit of personal background. I'm going to be completely honest I do feel lonely but at the same time I don't. I feel lonely that i don't have a SO but i don't at the same time because i love myself and have a pretty good support system. I do what I want and almost whenever I want. I also ask out girls but rejection doesn't bother me. I laugh it off and keep trying. It gets a lot easier and I still even get my hopes up whenever I try. The funniest part is that now that i've gotten to this place girls are being drawn to me. Timing isn't always right but it's crazy to know that girls want to talk to me.

The thing that apparently makes me stand out is my positivity. I am allowed to feel negative emotions, loneliness, sadness, and whatever else my bipolar nature brings but my mentality is to change them into something positive. I'm sad that i got rejected? that just means i'm one step closer to finding someone. I feel lonely? Better hit up some friends and we'll create some awesome memories together or just chill. etc... Being healthy will attract healthy people and healthy people lead to healthy relationships. People want positivity which is a rare commodity these days. Something bad happens then we can use what we learn from that and get closer to something even better.

Having been lonely and such will make me appreciate the relationship more. Having a support system will allow me to not solely rely on my SO for support thus making me less needy and being able to support her better.

2016-10-10T02:54:23+00:00

Get a hobby, focus on you a bit. A worldly man knows things, does things.

2016-10-06T21:14:35+00:00

You don't need a gf. I suggest you check out r/seduction

2016-10-06T23:17:08+00:00

Get yourself a good video game.

Title	How do you deal with crippling loneliness?
Author	subarufan0
Upvotes	27
Comments	17
Date	October 6, 2016 2:04 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/565itm/how_do_you_deal_with_crippling_loneliness/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-deal-with-crippling-loneliness.1413510 https://theredarchive.com/post/1413510

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