Can the 3-second rule be counter-productive?

failatsomething · 2017-02-28T19:15:53+00:00

Are we actually better of PLANNING our open for a few seconds first which kind of goes against teh three second rule?

No.

Think about your interactions and how you can improve at the end of the night or the next day. Don't do it in the moment.

Come up with a plan ahead of time (before you go out for the evening). Have some go-to follow ups after you say "hi".

But you should absolutely not plan after you decide you are going to approach. You WILL NOT APPROACH if you do this. You will talk yourself out of it.

Have plan before you go out. When you are out, continue with 3 second rule.

Good for you for sticking to it so far. It takes a lot of courage to run three second rule. Continue doing that. Now think about the next part of the interaction - building attraction or being fun in set. Put the two together.

t1mman · 2017-02-28T20:40:06+00:00

No, you need to be AWARE of the moment, and act about what is currently appending. Learn to use what is currently going on and improvise on this. Nothing stink more than a pre-cooked opener that lacks momentum.

About the opener, don’t put so much importance on it. It doesn’t matter that much! What is important is to look for the non-verbal signs. You can bump to someone and just excuse yourself when going to order a drink, tell something about the music, talk about the weather, it doesn’t matter. What you are doing is asking, non-verbally if she wants to talk. NOTHING MORE! She will answer in a non-verbal way as well, turning towards you, looking at you, maybe shy down a little by going “inside” (don’t mistake this for a lack of will to interact, IT IS THE OPPOSITE!), this is the non-verbal “Yes, you seem interesting, let’s exchange”. If she doesn’t leave her phone, turns in with her friends, just move out, those kind of things, it’s just “nah, I’m good”. Either answer should be respected (IMHO), working with a “no” is counter productive...

I don’t believe in the 3 seconds rules, because I used it as an excuse for a while; “It’s been 3 seconds, I’m screwed anyway”. Until I decided to say “fok dat sheet” and go for it even though it was more than that. So I started getting in, looking around, letting me feel the vibe of the place and hit up when I felt like it. When you’re enjoying your night, having fun and shit, you don’t “open in 3 seconds”. You have a blast, and you talk to the people that revolve around you when they do or when it appends. And, guess what, people are attracted to those who have a good time, enjoying themselves. Bars are full of people wanting to exchange, make new connections and have fun, it’s just normal to do so, even more in those environments.

About that “goes back in interview mode”, most of the time, it’s just because many of us are not “listening” when we ask questions, we just wait for our “turn to talk” and miss all the queues the person gives us. It’s a matter of conversation skills (and a little of building rapport). When you ask for a question, you can train yourself to listen by repeating part of what the other said before continuing. This way your brain starts having a genuine interest in what the other is saying (while creating rapport along).

When you ask if she is celebrating something special, and she answer, for example, “Yeah, it’s the birthday of [Jane Doe]!” you can repeat the part “Oh, the birthday of Jane Doe! Nice, how long you’ve known her / how old is she / how did you meed / [whatever related question]”. This way it doesn’t feel like an interview because you are listening and asking a related question, sort of funneling the conversation if you want to. One good way to start is with the “location / occasion” approach. I think you could find more info on the subject if you google the thing out.

And, as always, don’t take all of this too seriously. Dating and seduction is meant to be fun, heck, life itself is meant to be fun, don’t suck the fun of it by being too pragmatic.

letsgetrandy · 2017-02-28T19:17:39+00:00

Maybe she was cold because she just wasn't interested in being hit on at that moment. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your approach.

RPDrogan · 2017-02-28T19:41:54+00:00

The 3 second rule is very important. The longer you hesitate, the more likely you will be not to approach. Approaching and getting rejected is way better than not approaching at all. You will improve over time. For now keep practicing. We all start somewhere. You're doing good.

Woujo · 2017-02-28T21:52:26+00:00

I seem to 'naturally' always just say like ''Hey, what's up?'', or 'Hi!'' and then will ALWAYS go straight into interview mode and never able to make her laugh or spike her emotions or anything.

That's because you see the whole process of game as you validating yourself to her.

Don't go in there with the mindset of "I need to get her to like me" or "I need to game her" but with the mindest of "I'm just going to have a conversation with somebody."

SteveDaygame · 2017-03-01T00:03:00+00:00

I believe the 3 second rule is 3 seconds too long! Ideally build the habit where you DON'T THINK.. just see hot girl and instantly start walking towards her to talk to her immediately. 3 seconds is actually a super long time and plenty of time to "think".. which 90% of the time actually means think yourself out of doing it lol.

Based on your post here, my guess is it's not what you are saying, it's your delivery.. if "hi" is met with awkwardness that means you were probably too in your head and your non verbals were off.. eye contact, body language, tonality, etc... I've seen a ton of guys start conversations saying "hi" and pausing with solid eye contact and the girls ate it up. Also factor in your confidence, comfort with expressing sexual interest, and how well you're dressed / present yourself, etc.

Same thing with your "interview mode" issue.. you are nervous so overthinking things. do you have the same problem with your close friends and family? of course not. get out there and start talking to enough women that each interaction is no longer a big deal to you so you can stop over thinking things!

lv_21 · 2017-03-01T06:42:57+00:00

50 / 50 on this one.

Usually, if you're "in state" (Hate this term), then just go up and it's no big deal at all. Execute as if you do this every day.

However sometimes comes along that 8, 9, or 10, and you get a bit disorientated when you look at her ass haha. In this case I'm like "Lol ok this'll be fun, fuck it, i'm going in" and that 3 seconds really pumps up your emotional state in that moment.

But there's also the fact that even thinking about this so called "3 second rule" makes your game more un-natural. I believe it all comes down to your self-esteem. When you feel good about yourself and have no doubts in your abilities, the 3 second rule and any thoughts of "state building in the moment" go away because you're ALWAYS in state when your self-confidence / esteem is high.

Title	Can the 3-second rule be counter-productive?
Author	gatwickboi
Upvotes	2
Comments	10
Date	February 28, 2017 7:07 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5wpu9a/can_the_3second_rule_be_counterproductive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/can-the-3-second-rule-be-counter-productive.1420994 https://theredarchive.com/post/1420994

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