I'm writing this to maybe motivate someone or perhaps help someone on their path of improvement.

So I've discovered /r/seduction almost 2 years ago (can't believe it's been that long now that I think about it) along with many other self-improvement subreddits, YouTube channels etc. I was a lonely, periodically depressed guy with occasional attempts to get a girlfriends which ended in failure, for reasons unknown to me then (hint, I was a clueless beta cuck). When I found this sub, it changed my whole way of thinking; Before, I couldn't even begin to imagine how to get girls, I had no idea how the 'naturals' did it, I just assumed it's something you're born with and that it works like some sort of destiny, you meet the girl of your dreams and it somehow works itself out, no way to predict it or influence it. I was a naive fool indeed. When I found the sub, a whole new world opened for me. People can learn to pick up women? There are thousands of methods to do it, for every situation, every type of girl, every outcome you could want? Is this the matrix? Why wasn't I told this before? Why isn't this taught at schools, my brain wondered while being bombarded with info I've been desiring my whole life, but never knew was real. Probably like the majority of people who find this sub, I studied everything religiously, I was mesmerized by it all, all my problems will finally go away, I'll never be lonely again. Then you fall into the inevitable pit of all theory and no practice. I've spent hours upon hours watching videos, reading posts, field reports, feeling good that there's hope. When I did find myself in situations to put it to use, the knowledge helped, I was occasionally k-closing, but I never really had a real relationship, probably because my need for approval was sated with the hook ups, that I didn't consider the girl good enough for more. But I rarely ever forced myself to cold approach, when I did it didn't go too well. I'm going a bit too deep, but the point is that my mentality for these 2 years has been that to get the girl, I need to use game, apply the knowledge in a calculated methodical way. While interacting with the girls I would keep thinking what my next move is, what signals is she giving, how am I responding etc. Only recently did I realize how robotic it all is. That's when I questioned if I understood Seduction at all.

I woke up one morning after a night of partying with friends and girls of interest. There were some complications and there was no close. Usually I'd feel bad, feeling like I failed yet again. But I felt different, I was thinking about it and I felt I'm over complicating it. Sure, I could've done so many things differently and maybe get the girl, maybe anxiety stopped me from making some crucial moves. But instead I felt kind of liberated. I'm a really good looking guy, yet I'm still a virgin. I though it was because I didn't know game before, but now I know it and I'm still a single virgin. But the thing is, it's not about game. Knowing game is like a supplement. The thing that matters is so simple. Do you like her? and Does she like you? Those 2 things are everything that matters. That's how I misunderstood Seduction. Seduction isn't manipulating her into liking you, it's meant to give you tools to show her that you like her and recognize if she likes you. It's not me against her, it's me AND her working with each other. Or if we're not on the same page, recognizing that we aren't and not wasting time. I always assumed I only like her and need to convince her to like me, like I was brute forcing my way to her affection. But the reality is much more liberating. Why wouldn't she like me back? And if she doesn't, why would I take it so personally? She just doesn't, it's her choice to make. When I started thinking like this, the puzzle solved itself. I'm not obligated to win her over, I'm just showing my intentions and hoping they're reciprocated and if they are, I'm escalating. I always felt such a pressure to not fuck it up, I needed to make her like me etc. Now, I think I finally get the point, you're doing her as much of a favor as yourself. I realized that Seduction isn't selfish, you don't use her for your pleasure, you work with her to have mutual pleasure, be it just sex or something deeper.

Now, I could be completely wrong about it all. Maybe I just made some shit up that makes no sense. Maybe everyone already knew this and I'm just late to the party. But I thought it was a nice realization and I wanted to share it. Heck, it might even help someone else figure some things out. I've been slightly losing hope again, but this realization feels like enlightenment right now. Also, I do realize Game is a pretty wide area, there's uses for game far greater then just getting a girl, pick-up artists can do much greater things with this knowledge than I plan to do. But this is a realization of a guy who struggles with love and this post is probably directed towards similar folk.