Trying to get to know about her first doesn't work

No_Plan8250 · 2024-02-19T22:56:47+00:00

You've stumbled upon a key fact of seduction - seeking rapport does nothing to build attraction.

She's been asked about her course/her job/her siblings & pets a billion times before - this doesn't feel exciting or different = unmatched.

Instead, have fun conversations, make them exciting, make them sexually polarising. You can find out about who she is later.

Right now, you're there to to excite her. Talking about her mundane life doesn't do that.

Fuzzy-Bottle-4138 · 2024-02-19T23:33:24+00:00

You just don’t understand how the dating apps work….these apps have about 80% men and 20% women and all of the men are thirsty as fuck and basically swiping right on any remotely cute girl that they would stick their dick into.

So literally every girl is matched with hundreds of guys. Now picture yourself as a girl with 100 matches and 100 dudes all asking her “how was your day?” “What are your hobbies?” “What’s your major and how are your classes?” You’d probably want to kill yourself and it would literally be a part time job trying to respond to everyone. You’d be forced to unmatch with 95% of people.

So it’s not about being an asshole or a fuckboy or a macho man it’s about being different from the 100 other losers in her inbox asking the exact same question. You need to be fun, have good vibes, be challenging, tease her, say things she’s not used to hearing. It’s all about sparking different emotions.

And here’s another thing. Since there’s so many dudes on the apps, women are forced to be picky as hell. They aren’t just swiping right on hundreds of dudes each day or else they’d have a million matches. So if a girl matched with you she’s basically telling you that there’s something about you she likes more than lots of other guys. And then on apps like bumble, she not only just has to match, but then choose whether or not to send a message. So if she messages you she’s basically telling you twice that she’s into you.

So if the girl is already telling you that she’s into you, then you don’t need to sit around talking all day and building rapport and getting to know her. That’s what the date is for. So you should be trying to get them on dates asap. None of these girls that are serious about the apps want to have pen pals and talk online all day long. They want guys to take them out. And then you can talk about all of that shit and be more genuine and get to know her.

Happyseducer · 2024-02-19T23:04:33+00:00

You need a bigger picture perspective.

Right now you are in the EARLIEST stage of meeting the girl. Being unique and getting to know each other happens later.

Basically you want immediate connection and rapport with girls you just met. This is a turn off for her - because when you start having a lot of sex with girls - you realize that the real relationship starts AFTER you are having sex.

Basically you are looking at this from the perspective of a guy who does not have success with women - which is itself a turn off for women.

It is fine - it is a natural perspective.

But fake it till you make it a little bit. Do do the playful stuff for awhile. Then you will start having sex with the girls. And when one of those girls you did that bs with - has been sleeping with you for months and you really do know each other. You realize that the first few minutes or messages mean absolutely nothing to the real relationship.

Also - you and the women are going to filter through probably dozens or hundreds of people you message with and never see or really date. It'd be emotionally exhausting to connect with everyone

burncushlikewood · 2024-02-19T23:53:12+00:00

OLD isnt really a good barometer of female behavior, these sites are flooded with thirsty dudes dming her constantly. Trust I've tried OLD many times, tinder, ok Cupid, plenty of fish, and not once have I even gotten a date, in fact 99% of women don't even reply on these apps, why is that you ask? It's because you're a strange man on the web who she has never met, doesn't know you. If you go to night clubs or University campuses and actually approach women you will have a lot more success, when I went to school I felt much more in control and women were much more interested in me. If you're just asking mundane questions about her constantly it will get boring fast, where are you from, what do you study, what high school did you go to, you just keep asking questions it gets very annoying, but instead of asking her tons of questions, you make statements and jokes after she answers your questions, you stay relaxed, have energy, and connect with her, then yes getting to know her is a good angle to take but you have to converse the right way, and demonstrate confidence and your value as a male.

rjones416 · 2024-02-20T06:29:24+00:00

My opening line is always something funny. Making them laugh on the first message will get you in the door then it's easy from there. A few flirty messages then suggest to meet up for a drink. Done.

Dandys3107 · 2024-02-20T08:24:32+00:00

The thing is she is hearing such questions over and over again, you are getting labeled as another guy that can't come up with something more personal and creative. Also, you are getting incongruent with the context by using some "safe" social code pattern. You don't need any of these information, especially in the beginning. You should rather seek some connection, sexual tension, strong emotions etc. that will set direction and momentum towards getting sexual with her.

AnthdieSoos · 2024-02-20T13:58:24+00:00

such things should be rather talked about at the date than via text

letsgetwizzyy · 2024-02-20T16:27:30+00:00

Yeah, don't try and get to know them first. Save that for the date. Comfort and rapport are not needed to ask women out and aren't seductive. Here's the method I used to get women to agree to go on dates after 2-3 messages:

Have a direct opener that is playful and fun (direct meaning romantic interest is established through first text) and then playfully banter for 2-3 messages. If she is bantering back and being playful, I ask her out on the date. If she says anything other than a yes, it's a no, and on to a next.

I ask her out by asking what her availability is to go on a date during a specific time frame and don't ask for a specific day, but a range (like availability next week). Once she gives it to me, I give her a location and time to meet there. I get her number, and send her a text telling her who it is.

I do not text them until the day of the date. If they message me before the date, I message them back, but I never respond in such a way that pushes the conversation forward or provokes a response out of them because I always leave building attraction for the date.

This article discusses in further detail what to do when matching with a woman on a dating app: https://open.substack.com/pub/jackedguy/p/how-to-get-dates-on-dating-apps-a?r=31tj3q&utm\_campaign=post&utm\_medium=web

Title	Trying to get to know about her first doesn't work
Author	domdomdom333
Upvotes	32
Comments	21
Date	February 19, 2024 10:34 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1av0y83/trying_to_get_to_know_about_her_first_doesnt_work/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/trying-to-get-to-know-about-her-first-doesnt-work.1427525 https://theredarchive.com/post/1427525

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